Jurassic Word Rebirth: Why is this movie getting so much hate?
As always, I keep other reviews at bay until I’ve had a chance to see the movie myself. I broke my rule with Jurasic World Rebirth because, quite frankly, I didn’t expect to watch this one until it made it to streaming. I watched the last one (at a drive in, second feature to Top Gun:Maverick, which I’d already seen twice). Trying to jam the old JP players in with the new JW characters was jumping the shark, and they didn’t stick the landing. Chomp, chomp, chomp.
Big Pharma doing Evil Big Pharma Things
Even so, Jurassic World Rebirth is a whole new chapter that departs from the original and the first reboot. The story is fairly simple…get the dino DNA from the biggest, baddest dinos this planet has ever produced in order to defeat heart disease. Why all the DNA samples from the brontasauruses (brontasauri?), Pteradactyls and whatever the giant thing that ate the other giant thing was in Jurassic World weren’t enough? No clue. But they needed it from the biggest land, sea AND air dinos, and they just happen to live on an island that nobody is allowed to go to. Because death.
We’re not allowed to cast our gaze ‘pon certain people anymore
Enter Zora Bennett (played by someone. Not sure who, because my eyes just weren’t able to focus on them). Zora is a gun-for-hire. Very Black Widow-like, though who can tell for sure, since they were kinda fuzzy when they were on screen. Regardless, Zora reaches out to an old associate of hers from the black-ops world, Duncan Kincaid (played by Mahershala Ali, whose star is on the rise somewhere just south of Jon Bernthal and Pedro Pascal) to help her infil/exfil the dino-island with the goods that will make them both insanely rich.
Along for the joyride is Dr. Henry Loomis (Jonathan Bailey), a very non-military dude who is there for…what? His altruism? As a social conscience? As someone for Zora to protect? Maybe he’s there to point the soldiers towards the biggest land, air and sea dinos because they can find them. Whatever.
Suspension of disbelieve, stretched to titanic lengths
Lastly, we have the Delgados, who are taking a family bonding ocean voyage whose path comes way too close to the no-go zone of dino island. Uuuhhhh…okay. At this point, I am really starting to get the feeling that Jurassic World Rebirth might be as bad as the whispers have porteneded.
I’m at a loss to explain it
But then, something happens that I can’t really put my finger on. If I had to put a name to it, I guess I’d say that I started to get mildly invested in some of the characters. I’m not going to tell you who, that’s for you to find out. I started to wonder who will make it out alive and who won’t. ! started to root for them. Why? Don’t know. But I did, and that made all the difference.
Whoah, whoah. Slow ya roll, Average Dude
This is not to say that Jurassic World Rebirth is going to be on anyone’s list of best movies. Let’s keep it in perspective here. But it DID surpass my expectation, and that is a plus. The CGI was great. The cinematography was on point, above par, I’d say.
So, with just a little bit of a sheepish head bow, the Average Dude is giving Jurassic World Rebirth a 3.1/5. Go in expecting nothing and you will be mildly, pleasantly surprised. Just shove some corn in your face, try not to look at the actress who doesn’t want us to look at her, and enjoy a marginally decent movie in a cool, comfortable theater. Because here in KC, it’s pretty steamy outside.
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