Author: todd.wade

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ADMR – The Flash is great but also awful – 2.5/5

The Flash

trouble right from the start

If you pay much attention to the behind the scenes Hollywood reports, you’ve heard about the shite-ton of issues with The Flash and specifically Ezra Miller. Tons of rewrites to the script and director changes have delayed it. The off-camera skulduggery and legal battles for Miller stemming from multiple assault charges and various lesser incidents cast a pall over the project. Add to the mix that James Gunn (who is awesome) is going pretty much scorched earth on the DCEU, to remake it in his own style, which effectively makes this movie a one-off. None of these are a recipe for a summer movie blockbuster.
Having said that, I found myself wanting to believe the smattering of Hollywood hype being scattered about that this movie was going to be fantastic, one of the best tights movies ever. Okay, no one believed that but the optimist in me wanted to believe it might be decent.

I was half-right.

The story begins with the continuation of the Barry Allen story started in Justice League. Barry is trying to help his dad beat a bad rap for the murder of him mom. Why/how his father was convicted of that crime and who the actual killer…all unanswered questions (and seemingly will be forever). The last appeal fails and in his grief journey, Barry runs home to the scene of the crime. From there he suddenly remembers that he has the ability to travel back in time, and formulates a plan to save his mom, negating the whole tragedy and restructuring his life the way he always wanted it to be. Some nearly-dormant part of his psyche realizes that it might be dangerous to do so, Barry enlists the advice of his brunch-pal Bruce Wayne (Ben Affleck). Wisely, Batman cautions Barry about the dangers of tampering with the timeline. But Barry’s mind is made up. Full speed ahead.

Fast-forward: The Flash saves his mom and gets to enjoy a whole again nuclear family for a quick minute. But, when a younger Barry Allen comes home from college, the moment is snatched away. Older Barry meets a younger Barry and OB gets a little taste of how annoying he must have been to the rest of the League and humanity in general.

Along the way, OG Barry discovers that his changes have somehow negated the rise of superheroes. No Cyborg. No Wonder Woman. No Aquaman. No Superman. Not having a Superman to lean on becomes a notable disadvantage when a Kryptonian world-engine appears above Metropolis and begins teraforming the earth.

With no Justice League to turn to, Barry tries to recreate the accident that gave him his powers on his younger self thinking two Flashes are better than one. However, older Barry only succeeds in transfering his speed to his younger self. Desperate, he runs back to Batman for help. Only it’s not the Batman he knows at all. It’s the OG Batman that we all have a nostalgic soft spot for…Michael Keaton.

The Flash tries to find its footing

Yeah I'm Batman

It’s about here that The Flash falls off the rails for me. Up to this point, we’ve been jazzed up to 11 to see Keaton reprise a role that is akin to the book of Exodus in superhero movies (Genesis being Christopher Reeves’ Superman, of course). Sadly, after their initial meeting, Batman more or less becomes a bit player. A MacGuffin. His part in this movie does absolutely nothing to further his legacy and that is tragic. Keaton and Burton deserve so much better.

As much as I thoroughly enjoyed the first half, I had a bit of trouble following the second half of this movie. Batman, reborn Flash and his younger Flashself set out to save the altered universe from Zod and friends. From there, this movie was long on ‘splosions and short on…everything else. Flash continues to mess with the timeline and creates more alternate timelines until it just becomes a muddled mess. There are lots of gratuitous cameos (and more than a few that were conspicuously missing). We were treated to a criminally under-written Superwoman and a shoehorned resolution that was in no way satisfying. And can we all agree that there is a responsible way to handle ‘the multiverse’ as a plot device and then there is using it as the most lazy writing ever? Using it in the latter degrades the ability to use it in the former.

Superwoman and Flashes I’ve heard a lot of nattering about sub-standard CGI, and there’s definitely truth to that. In the opening action sequence they had what has been dubbed a ‘baby shower’ that was pretty bad by any standard. I didn’t have too much problem with the rest of the CGI, though there were a couple of deep fakes that lacked punch. And I am genuinely scratching my head over the choice of the ending and post-credit scenes. I would welcome anyone in the comments shedding some light on just wtf happened. Discuss.

Whether you expected a lot or not much from The Flash, I think everyone came away disappointed. So maybe it’s a good thing that its likely the end of the road for this version of the franchise. I am giving The Flash a 2.5/5. It’s not as if there was nothing to love about it. The first have was hilarious and I genuinely like Ezra Miller’s take on the character. His portrayal of interplay between old and young Barry Allen was excellent. I guess that half a movie is better than none.

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ADMR – Luther the Fallen Sun – Idris Elba is amazing in everything he does! 4/5!

Luther: the Fallen Sun

Luther the Fallen Sun

This week, the wife and I weren’t able to make it to our local moviehaus because we flew out to Dallas, TX to check another band off of our Band Bucket List (Duran Duran). Done. And I always want to give you the newest content I can, so I used our flight time to check out a movie on Netflix that I’ve had on my radar for some time: Luther the Fallen Sun.

I will tell you from the git-go that I have yet to see anything starring Idris Elba that I didn’t enjoy. (note- if you haven’t seen the movie Beast, it’s a hidden gem that the Average Dude recommends).

Currently the wife has had been obsessed with zombies. We have literally been watching Walking Dead and Fear the Walking Dead almost every night for months. With Walking Dead: Dead City coming soon – and I am psyched to see Negan again – and the Daryl Dixon spinnoff also in the wings, I am wondering just how long she can go here. I am working on a review of the Walking Deadworld shows and apparently need to hold onto it for now and see how these new shows factor in. And for crying out loud, can we find out what happened to Rick and Michone, please? Sorry. I digress…

My point is this: I knew that this was a movie spawned by the Luther series on Netflix, which I will definitely check out at some post-zombie point.

Idris Elba is top shelf on my star-list. Maybe because he has avoided the typecast pitfall. Whether he’s a driven, make the hard choice vigilante copper (Luther), the Black Superman (Hobbs and Shaw), the lone gunslinger (Dark Tower) or a dad facing the razor teeth and claws of nature gone insane (Beast) Elba has proven his versatility (RIP, Heimdall). He does it all and does it with excellence. Somehow, Elba takes the old trope of the grizzled, rogue cop who thumbs his nose at the red tape bureaucracy in order to get the job done and makes it feel fresh…or at least fresher than expected.

No, Mr Luther. I expect you to die!

Andy Serkis is a Bond level villain

Luther the Fallen Sun begins with our anti-hero being called in on a missing persons case that has befuddled London’s primo investigation squad. The villain of the show is known from the beginning so I’m giving you no spoilers here. Andy Serkis is David Robey, a brilliantly twisted mass-murder who turns his obsession into a very lucrative high-tech deathporn syndicate. Serkis turns in a fantastic performance as a Bond level villain – creepy, soul-less and full of evil intent. And man, when I say he was creepy, brother you best believe it. When a good story meets a great actor, it stays with you for a minute. Serkis’s villain did just that.

I wont go all Oscars and thank every above average supporting performance that went into making this move great. It’s enough to say that it only takes one performer phoning it in to bring down a movie. I found no such holes in Luther the Fallen Sun. Every piece, every bit part was delivered skillfully. Group hug everyone. Well done. I am giving Luther the Fallen Sun 4/5 stars. And don’t be afraid of this one if you haven’t seen any of the 5 seasons of the Luther series. I haven’t. It didn’t affect my enjoyment one bit. But that show has now jumped up the list of binge-ables for me. Looking forward to it, Luther.

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ADMR: Spider-Man Across the Spider-verse is AMAZING (and worth waiting 5 years for)

Spider-Man Across the Spider-verseSpider-Man Across the Spider-verse

The second installment of the insanely successful Miles Morales saga – Spider-Man Across the Spider-verse – finally arrived in my local showhaus. And it’s about time, too. I’m not sure what the record is for sequel waiting (my money is on Top Gun: Maverick) but it’s got to be up there. I mean, Spider-Man Into the Spiderverse was a fantastic success, some consider it to be the animated movie GOAT. I’m not ready to anoint it, but it was indeed awesome. The second installment was nearly as awesome. Nearly but not quite.

Ah, That Hits the Spot

Spide vs the SpotEven though we in this universe had to wait five years for Spider-Man Across the Spiderverse, only a year or so has passed for Miles. Neat trick that I wish very much I could do. We pick up the story with Spider-Man doing his web-swinging, wall-crawling thing. He is suffering the same burdens that OG Spidey Peter Parker endured…missing classes, lying to family and friends, the occasional threat to life/earth/universe/multiverse. The usual superhero bailiwick. He is introduced to a new villain that seems very jokey: The Spot. Don’t judge this book by its holey cover.

Spidey and Gwen, Sitting in a Tree…

Miles and Gwen

Apparently, all Spider-persons also have unrequited love issues, and Miles is no different. It becomes clear early on that he still pines for the otherverse Gwen Stacy. Why didn’t he just hit up the Gwen from his own universe? No clue. But, as luck would have it, Gwen has become part of an inter-universe operative force made up entirely of spider-folk, the staggering variety of which are one of this movie’s greatest joys. If you are a fan of the booklore, there were more versions than one viewing allows you to remember. But fear not…non-fanboys will enjoy it all the same.

Spider-Men across timeOne of the first movie’s greatest attributes was the animation, which blended some drastically different artistic styles (representing different realities) in an melange of color and shape…a literal feast for the eye and mind (chef’s kiss). I am unashamedly a connoisseur of the tangible, hold in your hand and mylar bagged treasures, so my brainbone loved every second of it. As is the tradition with sequels, Spider-Man Across the Spider-verse tried and succeeded in upping the ante on that quality to nearly seizure-inducing levels. That’s not hyperbole, so you have been advised. I was momentarily taken out of the flow of the movie a time or two, which I absolutely dislike.

The flow of Spider-Man Across the Spider-verse was a little hectic, it crammed a whole lot of story into its already 2 hr 16 min runtime, so maybe it felt a little overlong. But only a little. And that brings me to my last knock…what the heck is up with the whole cliffhanger ending thing going on? As with Fast X (which I also loved) this movie was a two-parter and I had no clue walking into the theater! Not that it would have made much of a difference but at least I wouldn’t be wondering how all this story was going to be wrapped up as we were around the 2 hr mark. At least Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning has forewarned us that it’s a multi-part affair. Kudos, Paramount! Well done.

I would love to talk about specific events and scenes in this movie that I loved, but that’s impossible to do without spoilers. After I had the death of Han Solo spoiled for me a few years back, I am adamant about not blowing a movie for anyone. Better to just say there are a metric shite-ton of so SO cool cameos and characters. Like the Easter Egg Bunny was also a Spider-freak like me. So let’s just get to it. I’m giving Spider-Man Across the Spider-verse an enthusiastic 4.75/5. Go see it before someone accidentally ruins any of the awesome surprises that await.

*And BTW, always spell Spider-Man with the hyphen. I know its tempting to omit it like so many others (Batman, Superman, Deadpool, Daredevil the list goes on). But it really, really annoys him. It’s his pet peeve. He can even tell if you are saying it without the hyphen. Is that a super-power? Don’t know. But he’s Spider-Man so respect.

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ADMR – We love the The Machine, but this movie never gets started

Bert Kreischer is the MachineI can not tell you how elated I was when I saw the trailer for The Machine. Bert Kreischer’s stand-up performance of the same name was one for the ages. I am not exaggerating when I say it is probably my favorite standup of all-time. I laughed until I cried. My stomach hurt. I lost my breath. My face was a gloriously wet, raw mess. In my childlike excitement, I didn’t once stop to think that this movie could be anything other than a hit.

It was a hit, alright. It punched me squarely in the yam-bag with its sub-mediocrity. When will I ever learn? That’s rhetorical. I am forever consigned to self-devastation by way of optimistic blindsight. And if I’m being honest, it’s not like I didn’t have any warning. I watched his latest Netflix standup and it was, you know, okay. Not expecting the equal of ‘the Machine’ but ever hopeful, am I.

Machines Doing Machine Things

The Machine doing machine thingsWhere do I begin? Well, the obvious starting point is with the plot that fans already know. Bert is living a comfortable life out on the left coast. He is, of course, struggling with the demons that commonly accompany such a life (i.e. fractured family relationships, consequences of drug and alcohol usage, regret, a general lostness requiring therapy). Pretty cliche’ stuff. The irony of his life is that he is really tired of being known as ‘the Machine’, which is the subtext for the entire movie.

In his typical over the top fashion, he puts on a massive pool party for his eldest daughter’s Sweet 16 party that is clearly more about himself than it is for her. Secretly invited to the ho-down is his estranged (of course) father, played by Mark Hamill. Clearly, the studio felt that the show needed a little additional star power. Side note: it might just be me, but other than being a jedi, is Hamill really that much of an impact actor? Food for thought.

Mark Hamill

Now to the necessary MacGuffin. As it turns out, Bert accidentally ran afoul of the Russian mob during the events of the 1980s version of himself…and they have now come to get what is theirs. What follows is one contrived, un-funny scene after another with very infrequent moments that elicit a weak, forced chuckle. Because shoot, man…we are supposed to be laughing, right? We feel like we owe it to the magnificence of the stand-up event and we want to laugh like that SO BAD.

The Three Stooges of the Apocalypse

The Three Stooges of the apocalypse I won’t go any further into what irked me about this movie. Rest assured there are plenty of reasons. If you end up seeing it someday, maybe you can find a spark of enjoyment discovering them, too. Hint: the one at the end is annoying to the point of keeping me up at night. Maybe make it into a drinking game. Just trying to be helpful. It’s what I do.

However, in keeping with my tradition of finding something to like about every movie I see, I will say that Bert (pronounced Byert by the cliche’d blonde Russian superwoman who hauls Bert and his father across continents) is the same bumbling, self-effacing modern era Stooge you would expect, full of slapstick. It would have been easy for this show to devolve into classic gutter humor but it at least resisted that temptation. I’m giving ‘the Machine’ a 1.5/5. I will watch whatever stand-up special he produces next because, apparently, hope never dies in me. But it helps to have a yam-bag of solid steel that can take the hit.

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RDMR – Fast & Furious on X…Fast and Furious 10 is a Winner

Fast and Furious 10 is a Winner

Fast and Furious 10 is the latest movie in a franchise dating back to 2001 and I have to admit that I’ve seen them all (except Tokyo Drift because…I just don’t wanna). Nearly all of them were utterly forgetable, though I remember the first one fondly. Also the one where the Rock and Vin were battling some dudes on an Antonov AN-225 cargo plane hurtling down a runway that was aproximately 30 miles long. That’s about it. They’ve kind of felt like a guilty passtime, like I was doing something I know I shouldn’t do because I know it won’t end up being good for me but what the heck, maybe it will. And, after F&F9 shot an car into space I truly thought I had reached the end of this franchise.

How very wrong I was.

Fast and Furious 10 (Fast X in shorthand)

The release of Fast X sped towards me like a…oh, I don’t know…like a thing that moves very fast, I guess…you can make your own analogy here if you can think of an appropriate one. I checked the new releases for something…ANYTHING…that I would rather see instead. But the weight of commitment to my followers convicted me and I bought a single ticket (my best girl bid me bon voyage and best of luck as I left for the theater). I was mentally steeling myself for whatever ante they were about to up. Maybe they were going to nitro burn at 88 mph into the multiverse (F&FXX. You’re welcome). Short of that, I was prepared for this movie to come in below my already bottom-shelf expectations.

Again, how very wrong I was.

Right off the starting line, I’ll tell you that everything you expected to be in this movie was there. Cars doing impossible car-things. Toughguy slugfests. Toughgirl kickfests. Crazy stakes with unrealistic threats. A gravelly-voiced Dom Torreto. All the cool tech. And family. This movie was, as expected, all about family.

Just not the Toretto family.

We are well-aquainted with the ironclad bond of the house of Dom. It didn’t need to be stressed any harder than it has been over the past nine movies. Family, yeah. We get it. We get it so much it has become its own meme genre. But this movie put Jason Momoa’s family in the driver’s seat and IT. WAS. AWESOME.

Mamoa's Dante on display
Mamoa’s Dante on display

I’ve been drifting all around (sorry, that’s the last car pun) some of the details of this movie because I would love you to get your own expectations turned on their head just like mine were. I absolutely cannot explain how much I enjoyed this movie without telling you that it was primarly because of Momoa’s performance. It was like they took the bulk of the Hulk, Heath Ledger’s Joker and the effervescence of Dylan Mulvaney and rolled them all up into one maniacal ball and shot it out of a cannon at the Toretto family. All scenes belonged to him. He didn’t steal them, they were powerless to not be owned by his character, Dante.

Dante's wild ride

That alone would have been enough to carry this movie. But lets add to the ensemble cast every character from every other movie – good guys AND bad guys – ever to grace the franchise. I mean all of them. Just when you think Fast and Furious 10 might have missed one…nope! Here they come. Fights ensue, hatchets get burried and they all kind of truce up to battle the unstoppable, unpredictable, charismatic Dante.

And to put the cherry on top of this totally unexpected joyride is this: nobody saw this ending coming. I mean nobody. And anyone who spoils this ending for you should be beat with a tire iron (okay, that was really the last one).

So sure, everything about this movie was over the top. You had to expect that. If you didn’t and you walk away saying ‘well, that was just too much’ then I really don’t know what to tell you. No one sees this movie that hasn’t seen at least some of the other nine, so you knew the job was dangerous when you took it. Belief is not just suspended, it is exiled out of necessity. Once you let go of silly notions like physics and logic, you are prepared to enjoy this movie. I can’t even believe I’m saying this, but I am giving Fast and Furious 10 a solid 4.2/5. I enjoyed the crap out of this movie in spite of myself. And I’ll be expecting my royalty checks on F&FXX in about 21 years.

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ADMR – Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 3 is an awesome sendoff – bring tissues

Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 3 movie review
Guardians of the Galaxy farwell tour
Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 3 Farewell Tour

There is a constant hype surrounding the movie industry, which often leads to disappointment. It is a sad but true fact that studios care more about getting butts in seats than providing a quality memory. I have often proclaimed the first GotG to be one of my top 5 Marvel movies all-time. My mind is unchanged after 10+ years and hours of enjoyment and a few that were not so enjoyable. Looking at you, She-Hulk. Although it hurts my Marvel-loving heart to say goodbye to the Milano/Benatar/Bowie crew, I’ll tell you Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 3 was well worth it.

Gunn’s shot

I think it’s vastly acknowledged that James Gunn is the MAN when it comes to the fights in tights genre. He took a low-level D-lister like Peacemaker and turned him into a can’t-wait-for-the-next-episode character. That was actually a widely held concern prior to the first GotG release. We long-time followers of Marvel comics recognized them, and were like, ‘uh, you sure about this? There are probably a ton of other characters that we would rather see before the Guardians get their turn’. I have mad respect for Gunn taking this shot.

Emotional growth

I was equally surprised and delighted with the evolution of every one of the characters in this movie. Every iteration of the Guardians we’ve seen has not only been entertaining in its own right, but has served to advance the relationships between team members and audience alike. This includes the GotG Holiday Special. I watched all of them in the run up to Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 3. Now I’m waking up with ‘Since You’ve Been Gone’ by Rainbow (epic version) playing in my head. And the Old 97’s song ‘I Don’t Know What Christmas Is’ now added to my Christmas song playlist.

My point is this: we have all been emotionally invested in this team from the opening credits of day one. Each new piece of Guardian’s lore has been an addition, never gratuitous. Each one added a needed piece to the puzzle, and now the puzzle is (for the moment) complete. James Gunn created a magnificent goodbye, rich in its own quirky ethos. I am sad to see it end but oh so grateful for the ride.

We all know that James Gunn has become the Feige of the DCU, and he has decided to go fairly scorched earth there. While I am 100% a no-go on replacing Henry Cavill as the Man of Steel, how can we not trust that this mad genius knows what he is doing? I am giving him wide latitude and the benefit of the doubt, albeit begrudgingly on the Big Red Boy scout concern.

More of what we love

I expected a lot of the usual chaotic banter that this group is famous for going in, and wasn’t disappointed. Especially cool was the addition of Cosmo the Space Dog and am annoying my wife with my pitiful attempts to develop a Russian accent when speaking for our dogs.  There is the familiar ‘will they/wont they’ of Peter and Gamora. We love the irreverent, gruffness of our favorite talking ‘raboon’, whose origins play a major part in this story.  I think that Drax and Mantis have a sort of ‘Step-Brothers’ vibe to them that is endearing and innocent. And most noticable is the emotional growth of Nebula, who has matured from a psychopathic sibling consumed with jealousy, insecurity and barely supressed rage. Over three GotG feature films, two Avengers movies and one Holiday Special, she has become a stable (somewhat) force for practicle good. Think Professor McGonagall in blueface.

Even so, growth almost always comes by way of pain, and Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 3 is no different. There is a lot of soul-searching in this movie, which is somewhat uncharted territory. Make no mistake, this is the darkest of the Guardians movies, so don’t be surprised when you get a little teary-eyed. Unless you are a cyborg, it’s going to happen. At the opposite end of the emotional spectrum, we are treated to the most despicable, loathesome villain that the MCU has ever given us. Even Thanos, evil as his actions were, contained at least a spark of humanity. The High Evolutionary is…well…you just need to experience him. That’s all I will tell you.

Was it ‘the best Marvel movie since Endgame’? It was, but that’s not a high bar at all, since Marvel has not been immune to whatever is going on in the house of mouse right now. Don’t let that nasty business put you off. Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 3 is a total must-see, and I am giving it 4.75 out of 5. There was absolutely zero disappointment between the buildup and the actual event. I’m seeing it a second time this weekend along with my awesome wife (who almost never watches a movie twice). You aren’t going to find higher praise than that, I promise. Get there early, get the best seat. Get your corn and maybe an extra napkin. Just sayin’.

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AGMR – Sisu – The ‘They Had It Coming’ edition 3/5 –

Sisu: Carnage like mamma used to make
I was totally pumped to go see SISU this weekend, the story of a lone Finnish man who discovers a small vein of gold during the final days of WWII. Taking his newly unearthed fortune, he sets out on the 500+ mile trek to the nearest bank. Accompanied by his faithful steed and even more faithful unnamed dog-of-unknown-breed, he runs into a platoon of German soldiers. John Wick-level violence ensues.
  I’m not giving anything away here because all of that was available from the trailer, which I saw only once. But that was enough to get me onboard. And to be honest, this movie on the whole was more or less an extension of the trailer. But I was okay with that the way that we were all totally cool with seeing John Wick kick @$$ several times per movie – x 3 movies. And if we loved seeing John Wick wade through waves of criminal underworld-types in a bloody frenzy, how much MORE do we love watching a grizzled, down-trodden everydude annihilate the bad guys from WWII in awesomely graphic ways? That’s rhetorical. We love it infinity. It was spectacular.
   The action sequences speak for themselves (if screams of pain and terror qualify as speaking, that is). The rest of the movie kind of rode their coattails. There was only the slightest of character development for anyone. Bad guys who were devoid of even a whisper of humanity…check. Captives who had abandoned hope…check. The hero, a lonely pick-slinger who is only doing what he must…check. For the most part, this was a cast of unknowns who did everything that was asked of them (which wasn’t a whole lot) to fantastic degree. In fact, the only face I recognized was the German leader Bruno, played by Aksel Hennie, who is most famous for setting off a bomb in space (‘a terrible, terrible idea’) in ‘The Martian’.
   I would like to give a special nod-of the head to the faithful unnamed dog-of-unknown-breed, whose performance had the most emotional range and did its best to portray a one-eyed dog (of course) but only partially succeeding. Bravo, dog-of-unknown-breed. We cheerily accept the minimum level of ‘awww’ for this picture, thanks to you. Well done.
   Could Sisu have been a truly great movie if there had been more character maturation? Certainly. Regardless, we walked in the theater already emotionally invested in seeing stereotypical evil dudes get dismembered. Any character depth would have been purely a bonus. We got what we wanted, what we expected. Nay, demanded. It was enough. Sisu would have been a solid 4 of 5 except that some of the action sequences were over-the-top, even for this genre. Still, I’m giving Sisu a 3 out of 5 on the sheer merit that some shade of humanity ended up winning the day. Well worth your $$ plus corn. Enjoy!
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AGMR – the Why Haven’t We Seen Previews For This Movie edition:

   As I commented last week, I was expecting to be buying a ticket to see Russel Crowe on the big screen this week. But Friday, as I was having dinner with Mrs AGMR, I went online to check movie times for Saturday and noticed a new war movie starring the awesome Jake Gyllenhaal – The Covenant. I watched the trailor and said to Mrs AGMR ‘Oh, we have a winner!’. I am happy to say, it was an excellent call.
   ALERT: there is a VERY SLIGHT SPOILER coming, but nothing that you didn’t guess just by watching the trailer, sooooo……..there ya go.
   I would not put The Covenant in the same stratosphere as Top Gun: Maverick. But Guy Ritchie (who rarely disappoints) surely took a page from their playbook. This movie was solid butt-clenching drama almost start to finish. The plot was easily predictable and it is a testimony to the writers, director and actors (Dar Salim was spectacular) that we were on the edge of our seats even knowing how it would end. Think Apollo 13…history already told us how it all ended and we were still teary-eyed when we heard Tom Hanks’ crackly transmission ‘Hello Houston. This is Odessy. It’s good to see you again’.
   Its worth stating from the outset that this movie definitely did not include any wokeness, no virtue signaling, not even an SJW tip-of-the-hat. If anything, there was even a subtle pro-american esprit de corps. It did manage to depict incredibly strong female characters that were actually germane to the story and not shoe horned in for the sake of…whatever. Emily Beecham ran a successful classic car restoration business and raised two kids while Jake Gyllenhaal was busy kicking @$$ in the desert. Fariba Sheikhan kept her family’s shite tight while her husband did what he could to fight the Taliban. To put a point on it, the epilogue stated the verifiable fact that over 300 Afghani nationals and their families were left behind and subsequently murdered after our horribly mishandled withdrawl in 2021. So yeah, it didn’t go over the top in either direction. The epilogue statement wasn’t even necessary to the story, so its inclusion felt a little like a shot across the bow to the anti-American mindset. Almost as if somebody realized that making a GOOD pro-American movie would be a success for the studio. Shocker.
   Okay, down to brass tacks. Obviously, I heartily recommend this movie. I saw it at the earliest evening showing and the theater was fairly packed. That is pretty incredible given that I had not seen any trailer for it. Heck, I hadn’t even heard of it before Friday. And I pay a LOT of attention to coming attractions. A LOT. I’m giving The Covenant 4.5 out of 5…high praise, indeed. And since I’m ever an optimist, I’m hopeful that this flick is saying to us ‘Hello, America. This is patriotism. It’s good to see you again!’.
#TheCovenantmovie #AverageGuyMovieReview #PCLoadletter64 #UniteeBridge
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Average Guy Movie Review (AGMR): the Renfield of Dreams edition:

   I was torn between going to see Renfield and The Pope’s Exorcist this weekend. A quick ask of my wife’s preference ended my quandry. Time will tell if I made the right call. Was Renfield good? Eh, that’s a very relative term. I would call it just okay. Definitely not a movie I will be eager to have a second helping of. They made room for a sequal, but I would be surprised if it gets made and I would only go see it in theater if the other choice was Fast and Furious: Baby Buggy Burnout.
   Having set your expectations, lets look at what was good about the battle of the Nicholas (Nicholases? Nicholai?) You all know by now that I like to find the good in any movie night that I just dropped $$$ on. Saying that, I like Nicholas Hoult when he’s doing what he does best, and I’m not quite sure how to describe what that is. If anyone has seen him in ‘the Great’, you’ll know what I mean. He is just SO MUCH fun to watch him do whatever that is, and he does it perfectly in Renfield. Maybe we’ll call this niche acting ‘hillarious and broken fellow clueless to his surroundings, his effect on others or his place in life’. Dry humor is a difficult skill and he delivers it perfectly and effortlessly.
   Nicholas Cage is a veteran over-actor (not a knock, mind you…I give you Jim Carey, the master class of overactors). There seems to be no comedic vehicle that he can’t deliver on. Even in a vehicle so anorexically lean on story as Renfield is. His turn on the infamous blood-sucker was enjoyably campy and over-the-top in just the way you would expect him to be. Was it a phone-in performance? Maybe. But even so, he’s just so darn good at it that it hardly mattered.
   And in the same vein, Awkwafina was quirky, sarcastic and imminently excitable…the same character you’ve seen in every single thing she’s done. That we are not yet tired of it is testimony to how unique her one-trick pony is. There was just enough of it to be ejoyable and not become tiresome.
   Do I recommend Renfield? Ahhh, I’m going to say maybe wait until its on streaming. Worth a watch but seeing it when there is nothing else to see will increase your enjoyment of it. I’m already prepared to say that I should have dropped my coin on Russel Crowe last weekend. I give Renfield 2/5
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AGMR – D&DHAT for the win (against all odds!) – an honest movie review

An honest movie review: Dungeions and Drgons: Honor Among Thieves
   As always, what follows will be a 100% honest movie review from a dude that has no agenda other than escaping for a couple of hours and chomping some corn.
   I readily admit to going into ‘Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves’ fully expecting to be disappointed. I had heard that it shamelessly demasculated the guys and empowered the women. And if I’m being honest, it totally did. Chris Pine was the defacto leader and yet was kind of a bumbler, getting by on charm and an enthusiastic confidence in himself and his friends. Hugh Grant was his stock character…charming in a benign but smarmy, oily way. Michelle Rodriguez was the muscle, Sofia Lillis was powerful and confident. Justice Smith was weak and lovesick. Pretty much across the board, the women were superior to the guys with the exception of an over-serious Zenk Yendar, portrayed enigmatically by Regé-Jean Page. There was even a cameo by Bradley Cooper that was BLATENTLY demasculating. And yet, I loved the dude characters all the more. Chris Pine’s charm is next level and carried what could have been a tragically un-entertaining movie. This movie could have easily fallen into the current Hollywood proclivity of switching traditional gender roles and been a complete FAIL. Instead, the writing was perfectly attuned to the character’s strengths and deftly made fun of itself. There will undoubtably be a D&DII and my big fear is that they will try to catch lightning in a bottle again. This almost never works (I say almost because I’m sure it happened once or twice but I couldn’t name one off the top of my head). And that would be a shame. But living in the moment, I found this movie endearing and am giving it a 3.75/5! My best advice to WB: Don’t try to demasculate the dudes in the next one or let D&DHAT stand on it’s own.