Author: todd.wade

The Electric State was an easy choice

To my own professional shame, I had not heard a peep about The Electric State. I found out about it from the always magnificent Mrs Average Dude. Since we went to see Novacaine on Friday, we found ourselves at home in the Mancave home theater Saturday night and looking for a streaming movie. I have yet to find a Chris Pratt movie that didn’t have something to offer. The Electric State was an easy choice.

The Electric State is an alternate reality retrofuturistic movie where automated sentience evolved in the early 1990s. By the 2000s, a war between robots and humans has been fought, with flesh and blood being the victors. Because of society’s compassion for ‘robotic rights’, the defeated automatons are not disassembled and repurposed, but exiled to a massive walled internment camp in the desert.

I was a little uneasy watching the band, not gonna lie

What makes The Electric State different than Terminator or The Creator is the cartoonish form of the robots. Think about the old Showbiz Pizza animatronics. Or if Five Nights at Freddies were a PG movie. I watched the Showbiz Pizza Rockafire Explosion as a kid. I was fascinated but also had a nightmare or two about them. Seeing Mr Peanut lead a rebellion that reinforced those childhood ‘discomforts’ was special and I loved it.

Trusting the science

The theory behind the title is that consiousness exists in an electric state and creates a bond between people that can exist outside of distance, time or even death. The theory is akin to quantum physics, which theorizes that objects can remain linked after physical contact. I don’t know whether the Electric State theory has any real scientific juice or not. But we’ve been asked for much greater leaps of faith in our escapism, so we’ll suspend any disbelief and go with it.

The Electric State stars Millie Bobbie Brown as Michelle, a ward of the state due to a car accident that that un-alived her mom, dad and tra-genius little brother, Chris. Michelle now lives with her foster father played perfectly but briefly by Jason Alexander. Depressed and lonely, Michelle is visited by a robot avatar of Chris’s favorite childhood cartoon – Cosmo.

Wanting so much to believe that Chris is alive, Michelle and Cosmo embark on an adventure that takes the to the desert of misfit robots. Chris Pratt (playing Keith, an ex-soldier-now smuggler) and his own robot side-kick Herm get tangled up with Michelle and Cosmo in a search for her flesh and blood brother.

Who Knew Mr Peanut was a bad-@$$?

The Electric State was short on story, short on character development, but long on retrofuturistic robotic special effects. Pratt’s Keith was Starlord with Bon Jovi doo. Stanley Tucci was never given enough room to grow. Ke Huy Quan (Short Round, remember) had a brief appearance, Giancarlo Esposito continues his recent run of short, one-dimensional bad guy roles (Captain America 4) and Woody Harrelson shows up as Mr Peanut, the deposed and exiled leader of the robot rebellion.

A case can be made (and I’m one who would make it) is that the least deserving live actor got the most screentime. Bobby Millie Brown as the life-hardened angsty teen (though she looks like she is in her late-twenties) chewed up scene after scene and never felt very relatable. I was more emotionally invested in Herm. And speaking of…

The Real Stars of the show

Even though the ‘star power’ was there, the scene-stealers were definitely the automatons. Sure, there were the usual cold steel battle-bots that we’ve come to expect. But the real attraction – the retrofuturistic robots – were both charming and discomforting at the same time. I was enthralled, looking for more and more of our commercial cultural icons to make an appearance. I honestly expected to see the Michelin Man or Shoney’s Big Boy marauding through cities like the Stay Puft Marshmellow Man. In a movie world where CGI has all but replaced actual story-telling, the special effects here were actually ‘special’.

Well, no wonder!

Having no advance knowledge or The Electric State, I found myself saying throughout the movie ‘this is really Marvel-like’. Starlord, check. Dr. Erskin, check. Short Round, check. Captain Iron-Falcon-man, check. When the credits rolled around, I finally figured it out. Directed by the Russo Brothers. Music by Alan Silvestri. The Electric State was an off-Marvel production. Not a slam but clearly, there is a signature style that the Russos adhere to. And a successful one.

The Average Dude is happy to give The Electric State a solid 3.75 out of 5. If they had added maybe 20 minutes of character dev for Pratt or Tucci, that might have elevated the score. And Millie Bobbi Brown was, in my opinion, a poor choice for Michelle. Jenna Ortega might have been a better choice. Either way, The Electric State is a really decent choice for a Saturday night at home popcorn pusher. Enjoy!
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Ho-lee crap. Mickey 17, wtf was that?

Once again, we see that the Hollywood marketing machine is on point. Anyone who saw the trailers for Mickey 17 were intrigued. We thought we were going to be treated to a futuristic dark comedy. What we got was…well, I’m not really sure WHAT we got.

O Coens, where art thou?

Creating good dark comedy is hard. It may be the hardest kind of movie to make. Mostly they’re a kind of niche that you either get or don’t get. Example: I don’t think my mom and dad would ever be able to appreciate most of the Coen brothers dark work*. They might like a gag or two from Raising Arizona or Big Lebowski or Bad Santa. But some of the more nuanced elements of the Coen brother’s work will escape them. They may laugh at ‘Gimme back mah baby, you warthog from hell’ and totally miss the irony that the baby was stolen to begin with.

I bring up the Coen Brother’s work because there are times when Mickey 17 seemed to channel its inner Fargo. Those times are few and far between, unfortunately. And in total honesty, there are as many times it channels its inner Drive Away Dolls.** Truly polar opposites.

You’ll always be Glen to us

Mickey 17 stars Robert Pattinson as Mickey Barnes. Mickey and his business partner Timo (Steven Yeun – Glen from The Walking Dead) are on the run from a small-time loan shark and decide their best course of action is to flee off-world to a cult-like space colony on a snow-bound planet.*** Leading this pilgrimage is TV Evangelist and failed politician Kenneth Marshall (Mark Ruffalo) and his back-stage controlling wife Ylfa (Toni Collette). It’s all very over-the-top farcical in the same vein as the Coen Brothers work.

 

Timing is everything

I don’t think I’m overstating things by saying that Mark Ruffalo has a particular political leaning. He’s been very vocal about it over the years. His portrayal of Kenneth Marshall is a very thinly veiled commentary on who he sees as a political adversary. And Ruffalo plays it with utter commitment. In a time when the national sentiment is weighted against that leaning, it casts a shadow over his performance, making it somewhat polarizing. In short, it’s too on the nose. Now, if the part had been given to Mel Gibson? The juxtaposition would be comedy gold.

Kind of like Brad Pitt in 12 Monkeys

I’ve never been a big fan of Robert Pattinson’s work. Admittedly, I steered clear of anything Twilight related. His small part in Harry Potter was a non-factor and his take on Batman was infuriating (though I don’t necessarily put that on him. I blame the writing). Regardless, I am happy to admit that his portrayal of Mickey 17 was eye-opening. Dude showed a bit of range and I won’t be so dismissive of him going forward.

So, what went wrong?

Mickey 17 seems to be suffering from a complete lack of identity. Is it a dark comedy? Is it a space adventure? Is it a socio/political commentary? Is the message about technology run amok? Mickey 17 touches on all of those but never really commits to any of them, giving us a disjointed movie full of unresolved strings and uneven, inconsistent behaviors. Its all over the place, which is frustrating. And what the heck was that ending about? I still don’t understand wtf that was about. Sigh…

I’m very sorry to say that I was utterly disappointed with Mickey 17 and can only muster a weak-@$$ rating of 2.2 out of 5. Feel free to watch it on streaming. I’m sure it will be there soon. So far, this year, the stuff coming out of Hollywood has been really, really pitiful, like the studios are cleaning out their cinematic junk drawer. I kind of wish I had stayed home and cleaned out my own junk drawer.

*I may be beating a dead warthog with this, but I am on record as saying that the Coen brother (singular) movie **Drive Away Dolls is the WORST movie I’ve ever seen and absolutely taints any desire to see Coen work in the future.

***And lest I forget, Mickey and Timo owe their loan shark a whopping 35k, for which he sends a thug into space to ‘collect’. That’s couch cushion change in a futuristic world, I would imagine. Coen-esqur or just crappy writing? If you can’t tell, it’s the latter.

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The Unbreakable Boy will be overlooked by most of us

Thankfully, we are into the home-stretch for the early 2025 movie Dead Zone. From here, we might find a decent theater-watchable show peppered here and there. This week, there were two new offerings…The Unbreakable Boy and The Monkey. And even though the Average Dude has read nearly everything that Stephen King has published (I currently have 3 of his books in progress), I chose The Unbreakable Boy. Why did I choose The Unbreakable Boy over the latest King to big screen adaptation? That’s a discussion for another place.

A movie with the heart of a lion

I have to hand it to Lionsgate, they stepped up to the plate and took their swings with The Unbreakable Boy. With the rising popularity of movies like Cabrini, Possum Trot and the wonderful Sound of Freedom (all from Angel Studios), Lionsgate fearlessly threw their hat into that ring to give us another wholesome yet conscience stirring offering. And just like most of the Angel Studio movies, wholesome content that stirs the soul just isn’t a big box office draw.

Some Marvel movies can’t hit that mark

The exception to this rule is Sound of Freedom. SoF is based on a true story so shocking that America took notice to the tune of a $184M domestic ($251M worldwide). The amazing success of SoF was, in part, the catalyst for every true story of hope to follow. And therein lies the rub. But more on that later.

Choices

The Unbreakable Boy is the story of Scott and Teresa LeRette and their son Austin. Austin was born with autism AND brittle bone disease, a genetic disorder passed down from his mother. The basic message of The Unbreakable Boy is one of hope, love, optimism and the choices we make (both good and bad). If you’re a sucker for true stories about hope triumphant – as is the Average Dude – then you’ll enjoy this movie. Make sure you watch the ‘where are they now’ part of the end credits.

The Unbreakable Boy stars Zachary Levi (Shazam, Chuck) as Scott LeRette, a medical supply salesman from Oklahoma with big city dreams. Scott meets Teresa (Meghan Fahy) while shopping for some new pants and romance ensues. The magic moments.

Life Intervening

Due to a quite unexpected pregnancy, Teresa is forced to reveal that she has brittle bone syndrome and that there is a very real possibility the condition will be passed down to their child. Scott chooses to accept his responsibility as a father and so the family is formed.

A hint of the divine

Austin narrates the story, emphasising his many, many bone breaks. But the story is acually about how Scott and Teresa handle being constantly on the edge of crisis. As Life is fond of doing, it intervenes. Difficult times that fall on all of us are made exponentially harder when stacked on top of the LeRette’s already extraordinarily tough challenges. Yet, for reasons mostly taken for granted, Austin (Auz-man) develops an attitude of wonder. In his world view, he accepts that he has limitations. You never hear him bemoan his fate. A chatterbox he is. A whiner he is not. Auz-man is a mile-a-minute optimist. And though his constant verbal onslaught is a trial for his parents (and at times, the viewer), I think it’s fair to be reminded that their reality could have been much worse.*

Why do stories of hope generally make squat at the box office?

Movies, by their nature, are transporting. They take us out of our day-to-day. They are escapism, pure and simple. Except movies like The Unbreakable Boy don’t remove us very far. These types of movies often remind us that we take a lot for granted. If we are wise, we take the hint and nurture gratitude in ourselves, in our family and friends. Gratitude or victimhood…it’s always a choice. Stories of overcoming adversity can inspire hope in us and also shame us. Nobody likes to be reminded of their own selfishness. Making our lives all and only about ourselves is also a choice.

So how does the Average Dude rate a movie like this?

Movies like The Unbreakable Boy nearly always get overlooked. They’re not flashy. There’s no special effects budget to speak of. No thrills. They’re just stories of real life that we usually choose to ignore. I’m no different. I nearly chose to go see The Monkey. Pretty sure that would have been a big mistake. The AD is not a horror fan AND I read the short story from King waaaay back in high school. I’m glad that I decided to walk willingly into a movie I suspected would be a reminder that I spend too much time focused on self. These movies don’t transport. They force introspection. They drive it home and hopefully, remind us to be better people.

The Average Dude is giving The Unbreakable Boy a sound 3.5 out of 5. Be ready to look inward. Be ready to get choked up. Be wise enough to not dismiss the lessons. Be brave.

*The Average Dude has had a decent amount of exposure to autism. I know of one young person on the spectrum that is very much the opposite of the Auz-man. Always crying, always in a state of chaos. I imagine the turmoil in that household and I have a new compassion for them. My choice.

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Last Breath, a true story

One of the movies on the Average Dude’s Annual Watch List is Apollo 13, nominated for Best Picture at the 1996 Oscars and was beat out by another annual watch (Braveheart). Tough draw, astronauts. Still, your humble AD regards it as the absolute Diamond Standard of movies based on actual events. When you get choked up at an ending that you knew before walking into the theater? Amazing. Last Breath is not Apollo 13, but that’s okay. The bar is just too high.

Daddy needs a new pair of shoes

This week, the Average Dude reviews Last Breath, a true story. I knew literally nothing about it walking in the door. There were just no other more attractive options, so I rolled the dice. And the dice came up seven.

I hope the pay is beyond excellent

Last Breath is the story of a team of deep-sea divers working on oil pipelines on the ocean floor, one of the most dangerous jobs on the planet. Not only is the work they do extremely unforgiving of mistakes or bad fortune, but the preparations to even put yourself to such a hazzard are extremely grueling. Truly it takes a special kind of person to do a job like that. Mad respect.

Sometimes I take a little nap

I am adamant about not giving away any spoilers when I do a review, that is well-known. And in so saying, I can’t really go to any – ahem – depths about Last Breath. What I can tell you is this…it was an hour and 33 minutes of tight story telling and edge of you seat suspense. Not a second of time was wasted, which felt perfect. And truth be told, I was pretty bushed when we arrived at the theater and wondered if I was going to make it through. No worries there. I was 100% glued to Last Breath from the moment they left port to the final credits.

I have the sense of humor of a 12 yr old

Last Breath top star on the marque is Woody Harrelson, who turns in a decent performance as Duncan Allcock (giggety), the A team crew leader. Simu Liu plays David Yuasa, a veteran diver. And the pivotal role of Chris Lemons is played by Finn Cole (a face and name I did not recognize).

But the real star of Last Breath is the perfect pacing of this drama. We the viewer are never left in one place with one character very long. Where a movie like Apollo 13 forces the three astronauts to interact constantly, the main trio in Last Breath are for the most part isolated, which only adds to the claustrophobic feeling of this terrifying thrill ride. The downside is that you don’t get a ton of character development that way. Good thing the story itself is what makes this a great watch.

It should probably be noted that going into Last Breath and not knowing a thing about the story very much helped build suspense. In fact, I was thinking the movie might be about the tragic fate of the commercial sub Titan, which imploded and killed all five onboard in 2023. When I realized it had zero to do with that particular tragedy, I was able to fully immerse myself in a nerve-wrecking drama whose ending was unknown. So maybe reading this doesn’t serve you well except to hear that the Average Dude gives Last Breath a heart-pounding 4 out of 5. It’s not ever going to replace Apollo 13. But for early March? Man, this movie is a gem!

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Den of Thieves 2 was a long time in coming, and not in a good way

I have to admit, I barely remembered a thing about Den of Thieves. It starred Gerard Butler and O’Shea Jackson Jr (both returning for Den of Thieves 2 Pantera). It had a ‘bad cop’ feel a la Training Day. That’s what I remembered. The Average Dude had to rewatch it with the missus prior to heading to my local moviehaus.

Strike one

The point there is that Den of Thieves 2 was released in mid January. For those who don’t yet know, Jan-Feb and August are the cinematic equivalent of giving your kid a time-out. Not quite bad enought to be banished to their room and not be seen by the guests, but bad enough to be removed from the party. That’s strike one.

Strike two

Den of Thieves 2 was also released 7 years after the first installment. That’s nowhere near the all-time record, which is dubiously held by Mary Poppins Returns (with a different actress in the title role so I am not really counting it). And to be fair, we waited 36 years for Top Gun Maverick, and that turned out fabulously. But then, there’s also Beetljuice Beetlejuice (also 36 years), which turned out very NOT fabulously. I digress… Just sayin’ that’s a long time for folks to forget a fairly forgetable movie to begin with. Strike two.

But then…a curve ball

Den of Thieves 2 was not just a carbon copy of the first. As the trailer showed, Nick (Butler) has become disenchanted with the burdens of cop life and is tracking down Donnie (Jackson) to see how the other half lives. He follows Donnie to the World Diamond Exchange and Scooby-Doo’s that he is planning a huge score. And Nick wants in. It’s not altogether unbelievable that Nick would cross that line, given that his character would often dance over that line and jump back again.

That’s the basic premise of Den of Thieves 2. Butler plays the brash, alpha-among-alphas persona to a tee. The real appeal of Nick is that we never knew whether to love the guy or hate him. When you’re looking for that character, Butler is a solid go-to.

Bad choice. Done poorly.

As for the rest of the cast, they’re pretty much unremarkable. O’Shea Jackson has the emotional range of a catcher’s mitt. Whether the scene calls for anger, fear or excitement, he only seems to be able to weakly muster the stone-cold killa look. Vacant stares. Like un-lifing someone and choosing what brand of butter to buy carry the same emotional weight for him. Not only does Jackson not feel all that threatening, but the very choice is so cliche it’s boring. To paraphrase the legendary Robin Williams in Dead Poets Society, ‘Just don’t make it ordinary.’ Or boring.

With that said, I’m giving Den of Thieves 2 Pantera a marginal 2.6/5 on the always entertaining Gerard Butler. Call this movie an infield single on a cold, wet field. Against a bad opponent. In a Cactus League game. The result is just okay but you’re not really that excited about it. And in the end, it didn’t make your season any better or worse.

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Wolf Man wasn’t a big hairy deal

As I’ve said before, the Average Dude is not much of a fan of this generation’s idea of the ‘horror movie’ genre. I’ll go into more of an explanation on why that is later in this column. Having said that, I am a fan of the classic horror films. Frankenstein, the Mummy, King Kong, all were terrifying in their day. And maybe my favorite – the Wolf Man. Lon Cheney Jr. Bela Lugosi. Classic horror icons.

Because we have run out of original movie ideas

Fast forward: Universal Studios attempted to reboot The Wolf Man in 2010, starring Anthony Hopkins and Benicio Del Toro. I didn’t hate this reboot, but I didn’t love it, either. It was a pretty lukewarm movie that should have been better, given the star power involved, but okay. It was supposed to be one of the tent-pole movies of Universal’s new ‘Dark Universe’. I thought that was a fantastic idea and am a little perplexed why they gave up on it so quickly. I think I get why both of those flicks underperformed expectations. And again, I’ll get to that.

A Wolf Man for a new millenium

The latest iteration of Wolf Man stars Julia Garner (Ozark) as Charlotte, a city-dwelling journalist and work-distanced mother. Her stay-at-home husband Blake (Christopher Abbott) takes his family ‘home’ to finally put to rest his father’s back country estate after he was declared legally deceased. You can easily guess the rest of this plot, I reckon. I mean, not a lot you can really do with it that hasn’t already been done. Like a Godzilla movie, you kind of know what’s coming.

What sets Wolf Man (in any era) apart from other monster movies like Frankenstein and Dracula is the inner struggle of the creature itself. The villain is also the victim, so the audience has an emotional tug of war going on. More than any other classic horror movie, developing the characters as relatable and believable is key. And that’s the biggest problem I have with Wolf Man.

Stick to what you know, I guess

Wolf Man was written and directed by Leigh Whannell, who has a string of very successful horror movies to his IMDB credit (the Saw series, the Insidious series). I will admit, I have never watched so much as 5 minutes of those movies. Going to see Wolf Man was sort of a hail marry to see if there was any actual classic movie horror left in Hollywood. If Wolf Man is any indication, there isn’t.

That Whannell is a titan of the modern idea of horror is indesputable. His writing has spawned eleven Saw movies, plus prequel Spiral. Insidious inspired 5 movies to date. The dude is super-popular. Wolf Man is his 4th directing credit. I could name them but what’s the point? I’ve seen one of them and it was not memorable. My point here is this: Whannell might be able to write about what society wants in their horror films, but directing it on screen is a different animal altogether.

Claws and effect

Where Wolf Man excelled is showing the de-evolution of Blake into the man-beast. It wasn’t a complete, full moon transformation. It was a progression that didnt reverse itself with the coming of the sun. That metamorphosis was done well and absolutely evoked a sympathy from the audience.

Where Wannell’s directing failed, it failed hard. Phantasically and utterly. Julia Garner is no slouch as an actress. I’ve seen her in Ozark.. She’s part of the new Fantastic Four movie. She’s got skills and a quirky likeability in the looks department. And I think she did the most she was allowed to do with the horrible, unrealistic dialog that was given to her. There are tense situations where a brooding silence would be an appropriate response. I’m going to go on record as saying that watching a your husband, who has morphed into a clawed, slavering feral thing would not be one of them.

Think of the children!

And for the love of Aunt Bea, there is no 8 year old child on planet earth that would not be losing their sh!te over seeing their beloved dad turn into a hairy, fanged, rabid killer. None. Zero is the number. Yet, at Whannells direction, that’s exactly what the young daugher of Blake and Charlotte did. For me, that was the stake in the heart of this movie. If Wolf Man had been top shelf in all other areas, that performance itself would wreck this movie. There. I said what I said.

Which brings me to my first point

Though it saddens me, I get that times have changed. What our parents ones thought of as the apex of movie horror doesn’t even register in people today. Modern horror is about jump scares and how to dismember a person’s body and psyche in the most dehumanizing ways. Sorry if I injure you by saying so, it’s about depravity and the loss of humanity. Each movie has to be even more creatively soulless than the last. Simply put, the reality of a soulless human is more terrifying than any walking corpse or mutated beast-dude.

And worth a thought…anyone who thinks that they aren’t being damaged by watching modern horror…well, I would just urge them to consider the possibility that I’m right.

SO…while Wolf Man isn’t a horror film in the vein of Whannell’s other successes, it most certainly isn’t a throwback to the really old-school b&w flicks. And if you can’t get hooked by those, then I suggest a Silence of the Lambs. Or American Werewolf in London (the 80’s version, please). As for Wolf Man 2025, I’m giving it a tepid 2.5/5 on the strength of the actual wolf-changing element. Other than that, this movie just has no bite to it at all.

If you want a TRULY different Wolf Man…

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A Complete Unknown is going to be a hard sell

I have to admit, there was a serious lack of movies that I was interested in seeing this weekend. In fact, I was about to review Carry-On (Netflix). But the weather forecast promised a few days of hunkering down in my snowbound house, so Mrs Average Dude and I decided to venture out before we could no longer venture. The selection was A Complete Unknown.

A Complete Unknown is the bio pic of a living legend

That Bob is a living legend is undeniable. Your humble Average Dude is no spring chicken, but I have no recollection of Bob Dylan in his heyday.* I’ve heard his hits, how could I not? I’m a sentient human and his music has inspired an entire generation (the one before mine, I believe). That generation spawned a subculture of Americana that lives on today in the form of the ‘green party’. Dylan and his angry-but-somehow-also-merry band of folk singers (Joan Baez, Woodie Guthrie, Pete Seeger and so on) were musical vanguards. Millions of young people looking for an emotional outlet (or perhaps a reason to emote) fed on his thought-provoking lyrics and hummable melodies. Dylan, with great talent, personal conviction and force of will, propelled himself from A Complete Unknown into a force for change. In a time before social media, that is no small feat.

A Complete Unknown is the bio pic we didn’t know we needed. Because we didn’t.

The Average Dude’s favorite song during the folk music era was the theme to Speed Racer.** Suffice to say, I was too young to dig on Dylan, the Beatles or anything that didn’t play at the beginning of a 30 minute TV show. And while there are plenty of people still around who were grooving to him, a lot of those don’t venture out to the theater. And their numbers are dwindling. My point is, A Complete Unknown has an appeal to a relatively small demographic. In a society that has an ever-shrinking attention span and an ever-growing pool of distractions, the bio pic of Bob Dylan ranks fairly low. For most, he is indeed, A Complete Unknown.

Timothee Chalamet doing Timothee Chalamet things

Unless I want to go out and interview the previous generation (who may have been baked for it anyway), I will never know if Timothee Chalamet’s portrayal of Dylan in A Complete Uknown was accurate. However, Chalamet has proven himself to be an amazing actor and I’m willing to concede that he did his homework. And whether accurate or not, Chalamet sells it. I have so much faith in his talent that I chose to go see A Complete Uknown on the power of his impressive acting credits. He may end up being the greatest actor of a generation. That’s my prediction.

Kind of like Adam Driver’s Amazon Ads

I can’t really call it an overlooked gem. I can confidently say that everyone in A Complete Unknown did an admirable, if not all that memorable job. Ed Norton, Elle Fanning, Monica Barbaro were all quality. Of special note are Boyd Holbrook, who did a fantastic job as a young Johnny Cash. Scoot McNairy did an amazing job as an infirmed Woodie Guthrie, past the use of his voice. For their part, they all performed well. But they were overshadowed by Chalamet in every scene. A Complete Unknown is the story of Bob Dylan, and none other. Had the script called for just a little bit deeper dive into some of them, A Complete Unknown would have been a more satisfying 2 hrs 20 min. As it is, we got a fairly shallow glimpse into the legend of Bob Dylan performed by a world-class talent.

So, The Average Dude is giving A Complete Unknown a middling 3.25 out of 5. I’d say wait for it to show up on streaming, but I don’t think it will appeal to the bulk of America (and barely even noticed by non-English speaking countries). A niche movie if ever there was one.

Bob Dylan himself said that he likely wouldn’t see A Complete Unknown, but Timothee Chalamet would probably portray him well. Bob clearly still has all his faculties.

*I do have a cover of Desolation Row done by My Chemical Romance on my running ipod.

**Go, Speed Racer, Go!

 

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Sonic 3 delivers for everyone

So, my son has two children that are 110% rough and tumble boys. MicroDudes if you will. This was our year to have them on Christmas, which was amazing and never long enough. The boys, ages 3 and 5, are all about Spidey, Bluey, Transformers, Ninja Turtles…and Sonic the Hedgehog. When they found out Sonic 3 was going to be in theaters this Christmas, there was no question of whether or not Dude* was taking them. None. It was always going to be my honor.

Trust the experts

To my shame, the Average Dude knows next to nothing about Sonic and his pals. I know one is called Knuckles, because the three year old thinks he IS Knuckles. Everything in the house gets Knuckle-smashed. Doors. Dogs. And Dude (ponder, if you will, about the height of a 3 year old and whereabouts on Dude that Knuckle-smash lands).

So, since I can’t review a movie sequel that I am woefully inadequate to review, I decided that my boys – Naise and Asher, will be the ones to pass judgement on Sonic 3. You’re welcome.

(Inside the theater)

Dude: ‘Naise, you get to sit by Dude. Asher will sit by Maimeo**’.

Naise: ‘And Shadow sits with me.’

Dude: ‘Who is Shadow?’

Naise: ‘Dude, Shadow is in the movie!’ (Naise holds up his most favoritest of stuffies…a Sonic character if ever there was one).

Dude: ‘Yes, of course he can!’ (Hugs it tight)

(Sitting in the theater)
Naise: ‘Dude, do you have my candy? I got the dip-pop’.

Dude: ‘Got it. Do you need to go to the bathroom?’

Naise: ‘No’ (he didn’t).

Dude: ‘Asher, do you want some popcorn? Ash? Ash, don’t smash those people. They’re good guys.’

(He still smashes them. They’re good sports).

(Previews roll)

Dude: ‘Naise! Do you want to go see Superman with Dude?’

Naise: ‘Sure.’ (a lackluster commital until…)

Naise: ‘Superman has a DOG???’

Dude: ‘Yep. His name is Krypto and he can fly and shoot lasers from his eyes, too!’
(Krypto is apparently a gateway dog to creating a Superman fan).

(The movie rolls)
Naise: ‘DUDE! That’s Shadow in the water!’

Dude: ‘Naiser, you gotta whisper.’

Naise: ‘Dude! It’s Shadow! It’s Shadow!’ (barely a whisper).

(Movie rolls on)
Naise: ‘Dude, I need some more popcorn.’

Dude: ‘It’s all gone. You guys ate it all.’ (in fairness, I ate my share)

(Movie rolls on)
Dude: ‘Naise, where did you get that popcorn?’

Naise: ‘It’s everywhere.’

Dude: ‘Do NOT eat that popcorn!’

Naise: ‘Dude, you have to whisper.’

(Movie ends)
Dude: ‘So, what did you boys think about the movie?’

Naise: ‘It was AWESOME!’

Asher: ‘AWESOOOOME!’

Dude: ‘What was your favorite part?’

Naise: ‘Shadow!’

Asher: ‘Knuckles!’

Dude: ‘Would you tell others to go see this movie?’

Naise/Asher: ‘YEEEES!’

Mrs Average Dude: ‘Someone was farting through the whole movie. It was so bad!’

Asher (tucking his head to his chest, slightly to one side and smiling, looking up at Maimeo and flashing eyelashes that any woman would die to have): ‘It was me. I did it.’

Naise: ‘Asher FLUFFIED!’

So there you have it, straight from the experts. The boys say Sonic 3 is the best movie ever. But then, Moana 2 was the best movie ever. So was Wild Robot. Basically, whatever movie they go see is the best movie ever. Because for them, it’s about the whole movie experience. The popcorn. The big screen. The EVENT of it. And that is the spirit of going to the movies that The Average Dude embraces.

So, the progeny of The Average Dude give Sonic 3 a hearty endorsement that I can only interpret as an age-appropriate 5 out of 5. You’re daughters and grand-daughters might prefer Moana 2, but maybe not. Either way, Sonic 3 is high entertainment for the kids and watching them enjoy Sonic 3 is high entertainment for their adults. Literally something for everyone.

*Yes, the boys call me ‘Dude’. Not the ‘G-word’. I explained it to them like this: Calling me (the G-word) = Christmases will be a 3. Calling me Dude = Christmases will be 5+. So, now until the end of time, they call me Dude. The Dude Abides.

**Maimeo: pronounced MOM oh – Irish for Mrs Average Dude.

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Homestead brings it to where you live

Okay, the Average Dude will openly admit a couple of things right out of the gate…I was really looking forward to Homestead AND the Average Dude absolutely has been preparing for the possibility of a total economic collapse. There, I said it. Not that I would consider myself a Prepper (capital P). But yeah, I looked at the social and political landscape of the past decade and felt that taking a few precautions was a responsible decision. Taking care of the Average Family is a priority.

Imagination is a two-edged sword

Coming out this Christmas is Homestead, a dark imagination of a very possible future. The latest release from Angel Studios, Homestead stars veteran actor Neal McDonough, who is a staple of many Angel Studio movies and never disappoints. McDonough plays Ian Ross, a wealthy land owner who long ago saw the writing on the wall and created a self-sustaining lifestyle tucked away in the mountains (Rockies, I think?). When the nuclear SHTF (look it up), Ian calls his family and close friends home to roost, along with a cadre of ex-military ‘security’ personnel to help him keep his loved ones safe.

You’re in my world now, soldier

The leader of the ex-mils is Jeff Eriksson (Baily Chase), who brings nearly a dozen of his select operatives (and his melded family) to Homestead. Eriksson is in his element here and finds that a part of his job is to convince Ian – who is in semi-denial – that the world everyone knew is now gone. Hard choices will need to be made if Homestead is going to survive.

Adding to Ian’s troubles is his tender-hearted wife, Jenna (Dawn Olivieri), who is of the opinion that surviving isn’t good enough if you have to let your friends (or strangers) suffer. Jenna wants Ian to open the gates of Homestead and let the refugees in. In Ian’s mind, the math just doesn’t work, the supplies and replenishable yieldage can’t take the added mouths. And Ian must protect his family…at all costs. Hard choices indeed.

Kids will be kids, even during the apocalypse

There are multiple character arcs frolicking in the end-of-days story of Homestead. Teenagers gonna be teenagers, young love and all that. Puppies make everything better. Power dynamics. Family struggles. Wrestling with spirituality. Logic vs faith. Everything exacerbated by fear of a new, dark reality. The house of cards outside the gates is falling, and all hope is centered on Homestead.

The Good and Bad, minus the Ugly

My point: Homestead does a really decent job of exploring the changing landscape of an America collapsing. It drives home, in gentle fashion, how amazingly fortunate we are in this country. Also, how much we take for granted and how incredibly unprepared we are to truly take care of ourselves and our own. However, it does so from a vantage point that almost none of us can identify with.

Homestead is the story of a very wealthy family who has prepared for a collapse that some say is inevitable. And therein is the rub… almost none of us have the resources of the Ross family. We can’t afford sprawling estates in the mountains. We don’t have the hours in a day to maintain agrigulture on those non-existing estates. We don’t have connections with private security forces to come and keep us safe. In the minds of Preppers, it’s a fantasy come to the big screen. All their forsight and plans and wisdom paying off.

For everyone else, it’s a reminder that, in a SHTF scenario, pretty much no one is prepared. And honestly, Homestead doesn’t take it far enough. Bleak as it is, Homestead doesn’t really show the brutal decent into inhumanity that a collapse like this would be for the 99.9% of America. In short, it misses the mark.

The Divinity Factor

Homestead incorporates an element of God With Us, which is a mainstay of every Angel Studios film I’ve seen. It provides the ray of hope and faith and trust that God requires of His people, albeit sort of as an afterthought. And because of that, the impact of the miraculous was somewhat muted. IMO, another missed opportunity.

In the end, I found Homestead entertaining in a way that Civil War wasn’t. Where Civil War was just bleak, Homestead brought an element of hope. And my takeaway there was that, even though I possess not even close to the level of resources as the Ross family, I can still help those in need. I can’t save them all. But that doesn’t absolve me from helping who and where I can. And I still need to trust that God will provide.

So, all things considered, The Average Dude is giving Homestead* a solid 3.7 out of 5. God save us all from such a day as this. If that’s not to be, God grant us the courage to see and give hope.

*I’ve also watched the first two episodes of Homestead: The Series, which picks up right where the movie leaves off. I’ll be excited to see this post-apolcalyptic show through to the end, however that plays out.

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Wicked is turkey and stuffing for the eyeholes

Your humble Average Dude is not ashamed to say that I like live theater.* I’ve seen many of the greats in my lifetime. The Lion King. Les Miserables. Phantom of the Opera (twice). And of course, Wicked. Seeing these amazing productions live on-stage is vastly different than seeing it on the IMAX, for many reasons, good and not as good. There is a great and terrible tension when you are sitting in your seat with live actors a frisbee throw away that could at any moment miss a cue or forget a line or trip over their own feet. You’re applause, your gasps, your laughter, are all part of the experience.

To the good: taking an award-winning stage show and adapting it to the big screen allows the special effects wizards to make it SO much easier to suspend disbelief. Flying monkeys on stage are obviously fake. Flying monkeys on the screen look real enough to be…uh…real. And Wicked takes full advantage of that.

Simpler times, I guess

For those of you who turn your brains off whenever you hear the words ‘live theater’ or ‘musical’, the story of Wicked is a retelling of the classic story The Wizard of Oz, told from the perspective of the ‘Witch’ Elphaba (played by Cynthia Erivo).

Wicked is, at it’s core, a commentary on socio-political structures, biases and evils. I’ve heard whispers that the 1939 MGM film made from the classic literature by L. Frank Baum was also a veiled political commentary. I’ve never cared enough to dig into whether that is true or not. I prefer to let the film be what most of us have always percieved it to be: a fanciful, magical tale of a binary battle, good vs evil.

Oh, but the times are a’changin’

Wicked (or more precisely, Wicked Part One) doesn’t even try to hide it’s moral juxtaposition. From the very first reel, we learn that Alphaba was the product of an illicit affair between a lonely Ozian ‘work widow’ and a smooth-talking travelling salesman who plied his willing conquest with an intoxicating green elixir.** That’s a little bit of a spoiler and I apologize. It was necessary to frame pretty much the entirity of the tone of the movie.

And don’t get me started on the Wizard

From the perspective of Wicked, all the people in this movie are wicked EXCEPT the witch of the west.*** Glinda (the ‘Guh’ is silent) is, at best, a shallow, entitled brat who has never been told no by her Mumsy and Popsicle. Elphaba’s wheelchair-bound sister is a pitiable victim of an unfair life. All the students of Shiz University are either mindless followers or vicious elitests. Even the quasi-love interest for Elphaba is a self-absorbed narcisist until he meets the transcendant one (Elphaba, not the Wizard).

For all that, Wicked is just really good

In every way you can imagine, Wicked is the anti-Wizard of Oz…except…it’s darned entertaining.

Every character is played to the utmost, which is the only way a movie like this can succeed. Glinda (the insanely talented Ariana Grande) is the epitome of entitled idol wannabe… the expect-to-be. All the students excellently play the worst kind of mindless, cowering followers. Jeff Goldblum and Michelle Yo play the ruling class morally bankrupt douche-hammers perfectly in their convinction that superiority gives them license to do as they wish. Literally, the dregs of humanity covered in frosting are reflected in Ozkind. And we gobbled it up. The musical numbers were as popular as we remember and the choreography is a sure-fire Oscar win. Director Jon Chu absolutely nailed it. Bravo, sir.

I now have to consider that Almira Gulch had a good reason to snatch poor Toto

And that’s the internal conflict I have over Wicked. I am being entertained watching the worst segments of first-world society wallowing in their brokenness. I am now rooting for the icon I once considered to be the embodiment of evil (poor Toto in her basket enrages me to this day). Where once I was content with a magical story about true good truimphing over true evil, I’m now forced back into the cruel realities of adulthood…that appearances are often deceiving and that presented perceptions must always be challenged. And maybe most of all, that I have been entertained by watching it all unfold.

Even so, I’ll freely admit to being visually enthralled and intellectually entertained by Wicked and am giving it a deserved 4.2 out of 5. While it’s not as fanciful and pure of heart as last year’s Christmas juggernaut Wonka, it is none-the-less easily worth your time and corn. Enjoy it. Try not to think about it too much. Or do. Your choice.

Not for nothing

Maybe worth noting, maybe not…I counted exactly ONE little person in Munchkinland. Whoever thought THAT was a good idea?

*The Average Dude is not including the whole remote viewing of a ‘live’ performance thing. In my opinion, those are a shameless money grab that absolutely robs the remote audience of the full theater experience.

**Cue the morally outraged who will either claim the mother’s victimhood by way of neglect and roofie or the ones clutching pearls over her selfish infidelity.

***a very purposeful choice of words.

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