Author: todd.wade

The Long Walk is no walk in the park

The Average Dude has been a longtime fan of the writings of Stephen King. I try to keep up and for a time, could say that I had read everything he had written. Adulthood overtook me at some point around Blockade Billy and now SK has left me in the dust. Still, I read him when I can. So when I saw The Long Walk (written under the pen name Richard Backman) was coming out as a movie, I was in 100.

Why is the future always dystopian?

The Long Walk is set in a super bleak dystopian future. Not a lot is said about why it was so bleak other than a cratered economy and a clearly militarized government. That’s fine. The why of the bleakness isn’t germaine to the story. No, this story is about one young man – Ray Garraty – who has submitted his name to the lottery to enter into the Long Walk competition.

The competition is as simple as it gets. Start walking. Last one walking wins a fortune in cash, in fame and social status. AND…they get a wish granted. For anything. Want to go to the moon? Bon Voyage. Women? Sure. A room in the White House? What time do you want your wake-up call, sir. You get the idea.

There’s a Down Side

There is a catch, though. The losers don’t get a pat on the back and a ‘better luck next time’. No, they all get a .223 calibur participation trophy, callously called ‘getting their ticket punched’. Literally, it’s an all or nothing proposition. Yikes. How desperate must the times be to roll the dice on participating in a ‘competition’ where the odds are 49 to one (because apparently, there are still 50 states in this alternate future) that you will get deleted from life?

And here’s where it really gets tough

Just two days before this movie premiered at our local moviehaus was the tragic assassination of Charlie Kirk. Like millions around the world, the Average Dude was devastated. Still am, in fact. And even though I had a sense of foreboding about going, go I went. To her absolute credit, Mrs Average Dude begged off on this one. I should have trusted her instincts. Watching The Long Walk – with all the innocents gunned down soullessly….it was just way too soon. This movie hits hard, for all the wrong reasons. And it’s making this review really, really hard to do.

I’m doing my best, okay?

Trying to set aside the murder of Charlie Kirk and giving an honest, untainted review of The Long Walk is not easy. In fact, it’s darn near Herculean. It takes careful examination of each sentence for objectivity. Not promising anything other than to give it my best shot.

The Year of the Bachman

The Long Walk was adapted from a story that SK wrote under the pseudonym Richard Bachman. Other notable movies written by King as Backman are Thinner and The Running Man, which got a long overdue remake that’s true to the story, unlike the Arnold Shvartzinvader* version of 1987 (which I didn’t hate, not gonna lie). Looking forward to that one, too!

Without giving anything away…

So, you know the basic premise of The Long Walk. Keep walking or else. If I’m summing it up, it’s like a cross between Hunger Games and Stand By Me (of course, it is). There’s a lot of really in your face, execution-style bloodshed. The directors really didn’t try all that hard to soften the blow. So, if you like that sort of thing, there you go and I’ll pray for you. I could have done without it and it speaks of a real desensitization problem in this world (Rats… it feels impossible to separate the current state of affairs and my reaction to this movie. Not gonna edit that last one out because it deserves consideration).

I have questions

For those who never read the original SK work (which I’m guessing is most of you), screenwriter J.T. Mollner made some changes that raise questions. First: he race-swapped almost all of the primary characters. I had to check to make sure, but it’s true. Pete McVries and Art Baker were both changed from white to black. Hank Olson was white, not Asian. Collie Paker was not Indiginous American. Did Mollner do this to be more ‘inclusive’? A case can be made.

Next: There’s the fact that the ending was changed from REDACTED to REDACTED. There’s some chatter from AI that says it was to provide a surprise to those of us who read the books. Ahhh, I’m not buying that. The scenes of the movie were really faithful to the source material. Why make the change at the finish line? I believe it was because REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED.

I brought mine

And, while not race-swapped, the character of Stebbins was REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED. There doesn’t appear to be any logical reason for that alteration, other than to REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED. Total transparency, I’m open to discuss the very real possibility that I’m imagining things. But you gotta bring receipts.

Finally, it’s no secret that SK is of one political opinion. He’s very vocal about it. It is not a stretch to think that he would be on board with slanting The Long Walk in support of those opinions. Add to that, casting Mark Hamill (also with well-publicized political leanings) as the Major (the figurehead of a militaristic government that sponsors the sadistic competition) seems a liittle too on the nose. The weight of evidence really only points one way.

Comrades in Arms

Even after all of that, there’s still a good part of this movie that I enjoyed. The whirlwind comraderie between Ray Garraty, McVries, Olsen and Baker was endearing and worth the watch, in my opinion. The fear and desperation when the reality of the situation finally sets in could have been portrayed better, at least as well as the visceral lethality. That might have been REDACTED.

So, with as much honesty as I can muster under some very disturbing real-world parallels, I’m still giving The Long Walk a 3.1 out of 5. Even though I’m saying it’s watchable, I’m also saying ‘Don’t go watch it’. At least, not yet. Save it for a time when tempers and emotions are not as raw as they are now. Like maybe in a year or two. Or maybe never. It’s hard to predict what the future brings.

And apologies for all the REDACTS this week. For folks who will disregard my warning and see it now, we can discuss. For those that have not seen it, I spoil nothing. This is the way.

 

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Will we disagree over Superman?

The Average Dude has many friends and is a big fan of respectful debate. So, when one of my most trusted buds came into town, I treated him to some very decent Mexican food and a show at my favorite moviehaus. Plus, it was Cheapskate Tuesday there. Bonus.

My friend Drew is a father of three…6, 4 and fresh out of the oven. So, he has very little opportunity to sit in a dark theater reclining seat and escape the heat for a couple of hours. The Average Dude was more than happy to swoop in to the rescue. And since we’re in the dead zone of August, I thought it might be cool to get an unbiased East coast opinion on my favorite movie of the summer. Complete with Average Dude snarky commentary. Take it away, Drew…

Superman: Hits Hard or Pulls Punches?

I will admit, I wasn’t the biggest Superman fan. Sure I’ve seen the original movies with Christopher Reeves, the attempt with Brandon Routh (Say what now? That movie had one of my favorite Superhero scenes of all time!), and the Snyderverse short lived run with Henry Cavill. So, a few years have passed and now we have another attempt and again replacing the lead actor with a new face taking on the mantle. Cue the Snyder fan “Boos” (yeah, Snyder was overly ambitious but I get it. It was a superhero arms race) and out of the sky dropped David Corenswet. Literally, this Superman falls out of the sky as his introduction (Nice one!).

So what did I think? Let’s start with a quick recap. Superman is not at all what I expected. Clark Kent has been Superman for 3 years now. The fact that James Gunn did not decide to go with another origin story is awesome (Agreed). Fans of DC all know how Superman came to be, we don’t need a recap. And if you need a recap, then you probably aren’t a fan.

The story begins with Superman already hurt and we are introduced to Krypto, the cute but not so helpful dog. The relationship between Superman and Krypto is great. Neither one “needs” each other, but they both care for each other which is a great take on the relationship between man and dog and one we don’t see often. Maybe in Turner and Hooch? Anyways, enough about that for now. Back to the rundown. (This I also agree with and hadn’t considered the non-traditional master/dog relationship. But this will play into one of my favorite moments of the movie.)

James Gunn does a great job of setting up the quick back story here. We get to see the message from Superman’s parents with a great cameo there. I won’t spoil it. And then back to the action as Superman goes back to help the people of Boravia which pretty much the rest of the movie goes into a conflict in Boravia. Of course there’s more like Clark and Lois’ relationship, dealing with Lex Luthor and his shenanigans, and a few other things that I don’t want to ruin.

The first time we are introduced to Lex Luthor played by Nicholas Hoult. I have to admit, when I saw that casting choice my first thought was “ehh really?” (me, too). But man, what a performance, Nicholas Hoult did a fantastic job bringing that character back to what it should’ve been. (Very much agree here. As far as Luthors go, I would rank them Hackman, Hoult, Rosenbaum Spacey and Eisenberg) Not what Jesse Eisenberg gave us. Guy saw Batman was in his movie and had no idea what villain he wanted to play. 1 minute he was Lex, next minute he was Riddler, then somehow he was himself. No, Hoult was a great choice for the role. We really got to see how power hungry Lex is, how much he hates Superman, and really how brilliant he is. His portrayal was a great counter to Superman in this movie.

Enough about Lex, what about the Justice Gang?! I absolutely loved that this rag tag group of superheroes was brought into this movie. I was afraid that James Gunn was trying to fit too much into the movie, but man this movie would not have been the same without them. Nathan Fillion as Guy Gardner was perfect (He was perfect).

And it’s hard to think Nathan Fillion who plays John Nolan in The Rookie (Never saw it)  could play another character that is so opposite of John Nolan. But man, he was awesome as Guy Gardner. Efi Gathegi is part of the team as Mr. Terrific. I really like this actor and it’s about time he got a role as a superhero. Last run was as Darwin in X-Men First Class and his character had so much potential that was ultimately wasted. As Mr. Terrific he brought so much to the table and I really think he shined in the role. I can’t wait to see him in more projects.

There was also Isabela Merced as Hawkgirl. Not the best part of the team, I guess she does instigate some things with Guy Gardner to get him to go off on hilarious tangents. But ultimately, I didn’t think she was the strongest part of the movie. Hopefully with more projects she’ll get better. Altogether, having the Justice Gang added more to the movie. (The Justice Gang – one suposes is the precursor to Justice League – is a dysfunctional group to say the least. The Maxwell Lord character will have a lot to do in the new DCU)

Okay, okay, okay enough about the superheroes. What about Clark/Superman and Lois’ relationship? After all, there really is no Superman without Lois right? (uhhh, no Lois without Superman, I’ll grant you. But Superman can stand alone. Or fly, if you like) Rachel Brosnahan is our new actress to take on the role of Lois Lane. This take on Lois was pretty good in my opinion (Also agreed. No offense to Amy Adams, but new Lois is really better). She wasn’t the typical damsel in distress and was a good support for Superman. Some humor in there too with an interview she does. Again, I won’t spoil it but this scene showcases the acting and characters very well. This take on Lois might be my favorite take.

Last, but not least, we get to see Clark Kent’s life. Mostly through his interactions with his coworkers at The Daily Planet. I honestly was not expecting this breakout character, but Jimmy Olsen was a favorite of mine (meh). Skyler Gisondo came out of nowhere with this role. I remember him from Vacation, playing the oldest Griswold son and how wimpy he was. Seeing him as Jimmy Olsen though was great. Side question, anyone else get Marty McFly vibes from him or just me (I did not, but interested if anyone else did)? Anyways, Jimmy’s character is loyal, smart, and humorous. He helps Lois tremendously in the film, which ultimately helps Superman. If this character does not continue in future projects, I’ll be disappointed. (I’d like to see the whole ‘Superman’s Pal angle, complete with Superman signal watch).

So final thoughts, I loved this movie more than I thought I would. I think this take on Superman showed not only his life as a superhero but his struggles with his human side and the choices he makes. To me, it made him even more likeable to see him struggle with some choices he had to make and ultimately come out on top. Seeing this, I think makes him more relatable versus just seeing Superman at his prime and basically nothing stopping him but a green rock. Plus, Superman’s speech after the climactic battle was a favorite of mine. (I liked that speech just fine, but the line that got me was Superman talking about rescuing Krypto. “He’s a dog!” Yeah. And he’s not even a very good one. But he’s out there alone… and probably scared.” On that line alone, it established the Superman-sized heart he has. At that point, I’m sold) I think I could go on and on about just that scene alone and why it is important for Superman’s character. But, for initial thoughts, I’ll just leave it at that. Altogether, I would give this 4.5 out of 5 stars. Honestly, I’m ready to watch it again to see if there is anything else I missed.

***So yeah, we agreed pretty much on everything. I initally gave Superman a 4.2 because the the horrendous break in Superman cannon coming from the translation of the message from Jor El and Lar El. Gunn has apparently listened to the HUGE backlash from the SuperFan community and has said he will retcon that mistake in the digital release. If so, that will vault the movie up to 4.5 status for me. Thank you for hearing us, JG!

Thanks for the guest review, Drew. We seem to agree on most points and I like your take on things, though I’m still trying to find the Marty McFly vibe. Still, I think we can make you a regular feature on the Average Dude Movie Review! Feel free to comment any time you have a differing opinion. I’ll be sure to correct you! ;D ***

 

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Nobody 2 starring Bob who?

Anybody who has watched Breaking Bad and the spinoff Better Call Saul knows who Bob Odenkirk is. I couldn’t think of a single place I’d seen him other than from the world of Walter White. And even after an IMDB look, I still only know him from his AMC work. Until, of course, we met Hank Mansell in Nobody.

It was a dark, dark time for theaters

Nobody was a covid movie, released on March 26th, 2021, on day 376 of the two week shutdown to prevent the spread. I remember those days in my local moviehaus. When theaters were again allowed to rip stubs, we were forced to put a buffer between us and my comfy reclining seat always smelled of the disinfectant cleaner that the ushers sprayed between shows. And while exactly when covid ended varies widely around the world, I think we in the US were pretty much over the Kung Flu scare by the summer of 2021. It took businesses a minute to catch up to the popular consensus, and I don’t think our theaters have ever recovered fully (or ever will, sadly).

But back on point

Nobody 2 picks up (more or less) where the first left off. Hutch Mansell has left his mundane existance (well…he kinda blew it up, to be honest) and has returned to the highly skilled gun for higher life he once lived. As one might imagine, that kind of lifestyle brings a lot of stress. A much-deserved vacation is not an unreasonable ask.

Ah, good times

Being the son of a well-travelled gun for hire (the always amazing Christopher Lloyd), Hutch and his brother Harry had so few good family memories. But the one he remembers most fondly is a trip to Plummerville and the tourist-trap ‘Wild Bill’s Majestic Midaway and Waterpark’. So, when he needed a little family time and a break from the grind (literally and figuratively) Hutch offers them the best memory he has. Queue the music.*

As one might have guessed (but not me, I was surprised), Hutch’s Plummerville childhood wasn’t as innocent as he remembered. And why would it be? His dad was a wetworks expert, after all. And it didn’t take a trouble magnet like Hutch long to find the evil underbelly of sunny Plummerville.

So why are there still monkeys?

Nobody 2 gives us more of what we loved in Nobody the first. Odenkirk plays the sad sack everyman character better than anyone. Never getting ahead, keeping his head just above water. Did Nobody 2 improve on it’s predicesor? Eh, no. Not really. But for this character, that’s actually kinda baked into the pie. No matter what situation life puts him in, he’s still that same everyman. The scenery changes but Hutch doesn’t. It’s sort of antithetical to the what we want in our sequels…character development. Evolution. It’s anti-Darwinian, but it works here.

Hey, she doesn’t make the rules. She just enjoys them

Nobody 2 returns all of the original cast (that didn’t get smoked, that is) and boasts some notable new names: Sharon Stone at her maniacal best (if only briefly), Colin Hanks, Colin Salmon, to name a few. And it should not go without mentioning the absolutely timeless Connie Nielson (60), humbly flaunting her ageless freak of nature gene. We should all be so fortunate.**

Nothing wrong with a good, greasy cheeseburger

So, to wrap it all up and put a bow on it that you saved from last Christmas, Nobody 2 is passable August ‘dead zone’ movie. A believable coda to the first and the Average Dude is giving it a modest 3 out of 5. I don’t know if we are hungry enough for a third helping. I kind of hope not. Nobody 2 is a nice cup of vanilla with a splash of chocolate sauce to finish off the Five Guys burger that was Nobody 1. If you go back and have a second dish of soft-serve, it might just make you a little sick.

*I was today days old when I realized Lindsey Buckingham was a dude. And who doesn’t love the dog barking at the end of the song? RIP Dinky.

**That would be me. The Average Dude’s Best Friend calls me a poor man’s Rob Lowe. The Average Dude abides.

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Fantastic Four First Steps is just the latest target

Online, the current bandwagon to jump on is spewing hate for the MCU. Phrases like Superhero Fatigue or MCU is dead are found everywhere you look. And to be totally fair, there is evidence to support that. Lots of evidence. I’m not going to cite the long, extensive list of MCU’s parent company’s failures (except for the Acolyte, which deserves to be shamed at every opportunity). We are all aware of Disney’s skydive sans-chute over the past few years. So, a healthy skepticism is absolutely warranted. It’s earned.

In Defense of Disney (and that ain’t easy)

Thankfully, it seems at least a little hopeful that Disney has finally gotten the hint. The types of content they have been farting out over the past half decade have cost them billions and someone on the higher floors of the Disney Tower of Isengard* finally took notice and changed course. DareDevil: Born Again was good. Mrs Average Dude and I LOVED Skeleton Crew. And I personally thought Thunderbolts was the best superhero movie so far this year. So yes, they’ve heard the siren call of their lost revenue, and that call is too strong to resist.

And that brings us to the long-awaited Fantastic Four First Steps. There are a small army of reviewers out there that have been using the wretched post-Endgame MCU to predict more comic book heresy. Your humbe Average Dude is not one of them. I get why they do it. They’re chasing clicks. Everyone wants to get the latest gossip, and when there’s so much chatter about the decline of Disney, people are gonna click.

Yeah, they dug their own grave, but grace

So sure, mistakes were made and Disney is trying to climb back out of the grave they dug. If you’ve been burned too many times to want to try them again, I get it. I’m not there yet. And I’m for sure not going to hate on their product before I even see it. So I saw it. And guess what? I thought it was pretty good. And especially compared to the tragedy of the 2015 Fant4stic, this movie was amazing. Perspective, people.

Galactus. Finally.

To put to rest all of the doom-criers and nay-sayers, Fantastic Four First Steps was not very woke. Yes, Sue Storm seemed to be the focal point of this team. Sure, Reed was portrayed as more of an egghead than a leader. I wouldn’t necessarily call that wokism. And finally, FINALLY, we get the Galactus we’ve been waiting for since the first FF movie way back in 2005. And they nailed it. Almost. There’s a little too much emotion in the cosmic entity that we grew up with, a little too much pettiness from one who is supposed to be so disconnected that murder on a planetary scale does not affect him. Other than that, they crushed it.

Marvel’s First Family, as the saying goes

As with the comic in its origin, The Fantastic Four are first and foremost about a family. That element came through from the very start and that was satisfying. We can mention the retro-world of Earth 828 (remember that) as being stylishly different and cool. We can ignore that Johnny Storm was as much a brain as he was a ladies man (huh?). And we can overlook that they removed Ben’s classic angst over being transformed into a Thing. We can even tolerate the Shalla-Bal version of the Silver Surfer (never actually called that in the movie). Oh, and lest I forget, the baby playing Franklin Richards was aDORable.

In the end, we got more than the click-bate critics predicted from Fantastic Four First steps. We got a solid, superhero family adventure on a cosmic scale. Not uh, fantastic, but certainly better than we had feared. A good summer blockbuster, nevermind the imperfections from we comic book purists.

So, after a very VERY long wait (because the FF was first hinted at way back in Phase One or Two), I am giving Fantastic Four First Steps a most agreeable 4.3 out of 5, barely edging out Superman but falling short of Thunderbolts. This Fantastic Four will one day be added to the Average Dude movie library, no doubt. Go and see it in a theater and on the very biggest screen. The arrival of Galactus deserves no less.

*The Tower’s name is Orthanc, for you non-LotR nerds out there.

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Jurassic Word Rebirth: Why is this movie getting so much hate?

As always, I keep other reviews at bay until I’ve had a chance to see the movie myself. I broke my rule with Jurasic World Rebirth because, quite frankly, I didn’t expect to watch this one until it made it to streaming. I watched the last one (at a drive in, second feature to Top Gun:Maverick, which I’d already seen twice). Trying to jam the old JP players in with the new JW characters was jumping the shark, and they didn’t stick the landing. Chomp, chomp, chomp.

Big Pharma doing Evil Big Pharma Things

Even so, Jurassic World Rebirth is a whole new chapter that departs from the original and the first reboot. The story is fairly simple…get the dino DNA from the biggest, baddest dinos this planet has ever produced in order to defeat heart disease. Why all the DNA samples from the brontasauruses (brontasauri?), Pteradactyls and whatever the giant thing that ate the other giant thing was in Jurassic World weren’t enough? No clue. But they needed it from the biggest land, sea AND air dinos, and they just happen to live on an island that nobody is allowed to go to. Because death.

We’re not allowed to cast our gaze ‘pon certain people anymore

Enter Zora Bennett (played by someone. Not sure who, because my eyes just weren’t able to focus on them). Zora is a gun-for-hire. Very Black Widow-like, though who can tell for sure, since they were kinda fuzzy when they were on screen. Regardless, Zora reaches out to an old associate of hers from the black-ops world, Duncan Kincaid (played by Mahershala Ali, whose star is on the rise somewhere just south of Jon Bernthal and Pedro Pascal) to help her infil/exfil the dino-island with the goods that will make them both insanely rich.

Along for the joyride is Dr. Henry Loomis (Jonathan Bailey), a very non-military dude who is there for…what? His altruism? As a social conscience? As someone for Zora to protect? Maybe he’s there to point the soldiers towards the biggest land, air and sea dinos because they can find them. Whatever.

Suspension of disbelieve, stretched to titanic lengths

Lastly, we have the Delgados, who are taking a family bonding ocean voyage whose path comes way too close to the no-go zone of dino island. Uuuhhhh…okay. At this point, I am really starting to get the feeling that Jurassic World Rebirth might be as bad as the whispers have porteneded.

I’m at a loss to explain it

But then, something happens that I can’t really put my finger on. If I had to put a name to it, I guess I’d say that I started to get mildly invested in some of the characters. I’m not going to tell you who, that’s for you to find out. I started to wonder who will make it out alive and who won’t. ! started to root for them. Why? Don’t know. But I did, and that made all the difference.

Whoah, whoah. Slow ya roll, Average Dude

This is not to say that Jurassic World Rebirth is going to be on anyone’s list of best movies. Let’s keep it in perspective here. But it DID surpass my expectation, and that is a plus. The CGI was great. The cinematography was on point, above par, I’d say.

So, with just a little bit of a sheepish head bow, the Average Dude is giving Jurassic World Rebirth a 3.1/5. Go in expecting nothing and you will be mildly, pleasantly surprised. Just shove some corn in your face, try not to look at the actress who doesn’t want us to look at her, and enjoy a marginally decent movie in a cool, comfortable theater. Because here in KC, it’s pretty steamy outside.

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Poppycock to you, sirs

You may have heard…Social media is trying to take the story of Superman, a refugee from an exploding planet, and turn it into a political statement on immigration that feeds a narative that America isn’t the greatest country in human history. There is so much wrong with everything associated with that, not the least of which is that it detracts from the event that is James Gunn’s Superman. Whether by plan or accident, the premier of one the most highly anticipated movies of the year has been dimmed by single-minded hate. And that sucks.

So, without any drama or suspense at all, let me tell you that there is no woke in Superman. There is no hidden message about legal/illegal immigration.* In point of fact, you might say that Gunn showed how an immigrant should behave. Respect your new home’s culture. Be productive. Show Gratitude. Give back. Contribute. If every immigrant were as noble and selfless as Kal El, there probably wouldn’t be any immigration problems at all. But I digress.

Getting back on point

That is not to say that Gunn didn’t utilize the current internal turmoil surrounding immigration and foriegn political entanglements. He did, and did it deftly. In short, he didn’t put Supes in a world that isn’t. He put him right in the middle of the world that is, complete with all the division, the biases, the suspicions and corruptions that exist. Not passing judgement or making any statements. He just made Superman a part of the world we live in. And I thought it was masterfully done.

Different from Cavil and IMO Better

Henry Cavill is the physically perfect Man of Steel. I’ll fight anyone saying different. Snyder’s take on him made him less relatable and, as is his way, darker. That is not who Superman is. Or should be. And Superman does not kill. It’s cannon. It can’t be changed. Having him kill Zod tarnishes the legacy of Superman and Henry Cavill. And it ruined that movie for me. That’s what happens when you give the keys to the car to someone who doesn’t know what the car can (or should) do.

Just like Batman and Joker

Corenswet’s version of Superman is more emotive, more relatable, more human than Cavill’s detatched, aloof portrayal. Snyder’s Superman was very aware that he was different and alone. For Corenswet, it was as if he barely realizes that he can live above everything and everyone in this world. Juxtapose that with Hoult’s turn as Lex Luthor, who wants to live above everyone and can’t…while Superman exists. Two sides of a coin. One could rule but chooses to serve, one wants to rule and will server only himself.

Speak of the devil

I don’t want to give short shrift to Nicholas Hoult’s Lex Luthor. I’ll be honest, I had my doubts. Not because of ability. Heck, no. Nicholas Hoult is an amazing talent (he was incredible in ‘The Great’). Luthor is a hard character to get right and Hoult didn’t really fit my mental image of the man. But I was so, SO wrong. He crushed it.

There is one reviewer I watch that was so traumatized by the pure malevolence of the Luthor character that it ruined the movie for him. Not for me. Yes, Hoult’s Lex Luthor was, by far, the most evil Luthor we’ve seen to date. Massive credit to Hoult for that. And it was necessary. To battle the best of us, you need the worst of us.

John Wick would approve

This is as close to a spoiler as I will ever get. There was a moment, a line from Superman, that crystalized his humanity, his courage and his love in a way that no other Superman, no other director, would have even thought to do. For me, it was the moment I’ll remember above all other moments in this movie and it strikes at the very heart of me. Ask me and I’ll tell you.

There’s always a but…

Not to say this was a perfect movie, because it wasn’t. Superman was written by James Gunn, so there is no other place to lay the blame for the single, glaring departure from cannon that troubles me so grievously. I won’t drop it here, but folks, it was bad. SO bad. My only hope is that, in future Superman adventures, we will find out it was all a fake-out, another diabolical twist thrown at us by the quintessential evil that is Lex Luthor. As you already know, your humble Average Dude is nothing if not hopeful.

On Rings, Wings and other Things (like Dogs)

This review could easlily go on to be the longest one I’ve ever given. I’ll do my best to keep my review down. Unlike Kevin Smith’s review. I love Kevin, but that video was nearly an hour and a half long! Sorry, my dude. I can’t watch a review that is 3/4 the actual movie runtime (2h 9m). I don’t have that kind of time.

Anyway, here is the elevator pitch opinion of the rest of the cast, known as the Justice Gang:

Nathan Fillion as Guy Gardner Green Lantern did NOT disappoint. Followers of the comic character know he nailed it. If you knew nothing about this GL coming in…you still loved it.

Isabela Merced as Hawkgirl had too little screentime for us to care one way or the other.

Metamorpho (Anthony Carrigan) was a little known character that was fun to see. James Gunn clearly likes to showcase little-known heroes (like Creature Commandos). Metamorpho fits in that catagory perfectly.

And Mr Terrific? He had the most screen time but I’m still not sure on if I like him or not. He had a kind of Gamora vibe….no nonsese, I’m always right, short on patience. It worked for Gamora. For Mr T? We’ll see.

And then, there’s Krypto. From first glimpse of him, many of us were hooked. That alone was enough to get butts in seats. We’re such suckers for dogs. Not gonna apologize for that, either. And Superman’s best friend had more than a little to do with this plot. I’ll say no more other thant to say I loved it.

Sorry I couldn’t find any pictures of the kaiju

In the end, I’m very happy to give Superman a high-flying 4.2 out of 5 stars. It could easily have been a 4.5 if not for the aforementioned departure from cannon that is, in my opinion, essential to the Superman mythos. I know Gunn knows the full history of the child from Krypton. I hope he returns that crucial bit of it, proving he respects the history, as well. As for this new version of Superman…he’s relatable, he likes ‘punk rock’ (or mainstream punk), he’s more human than we’re used to. And Krypto is in it. That’s plenty to love.

*Upon further reflection, the Averaged Dude actually DOES see a real-world proverb to the Superman/immigration chatter. It ties in with my one HUGE gripe about the movie and actually accentuates the point that Superman – a refugee immigrant – is doing it right. See you in the comments.

 

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F1 was an unexpected win

The Average Dude was not immediately on-board with going to see F1. In my experience, for every Days of Thunder, there are multiple Speed Racers. As a matter of fact, in my pantheon of worst movies I’ve ever seen, Sly Stalone’s Driven ranks #3. I’m not sure what it is about racing movies that leaves me cold. RUSH had some great performances but still managed to bore me. Ford vs Ferrari, the same. I’m mildly curious about Gran Turismo but not enough to shoehorn it into my busy viewing schedule. But I digress.

Give the kids what they want

On the weekend that F1 was released, the littles were visiting and wanted VERY MUCH for Mr & Mrs Average Dude to take them to see ELIO. And because I am the quintessential Dude, I would never tell them no to a request like that.* We went. They enjoyed it. We enjoyed watching them shove popcorn into mouths. We live for these moments.

So, it seemed like The Average Dude was not going to be able to give F1 a timely review. After all, the new Jurasic Park was coming up. More on that later. Maybe. But during that off-week, I started hearing whispers that F1 was actually quite good. The whispers got louder and became an actual conversation. While I was able to avoid any spoilers (as is my way), I could not un-hear the positive chatter on F1.

Avert your gaze

Stack that next to the also growing chatter that Jurasic Park: Rebirth was a weak cash-grab born of a tired IP (not to mention that I apparently am not allowed to gaze ‘pon the form of ScarJo anymore), I made the call to skip dino-fatigue and roll the dice on Brad Pitt, who rarely disappoints. Sorry for stating the obvious, but dude has Riz in quantum amounts.

Cutting to the Chase

Your humble Average Dude is happy to report that the whispers were on point. F1 was fun little thrill-ride that didn’t slow down for nuthin’, contained very little racey content (other than the actual racey content) and enough off the track story for us to get at least a little invested in the characters. For a 2 h 35 m film, it actually seemed to zip by like a rice-burner in the fast lane.

The synopsis:

F1 is the story of Sonny Hays (a perfect racer name IMO), a washed up Formula one racer that missed his heyday shot at glory when his fearless (re: reckless) driving resulted in a crash that nearly killed him. Sonny bounced around to other racing sports, unable to settle anywhere. In his rear view mirror, Sonny left the wreckage of relationship after relationship, never quieting his restless ghosts.

Cock fighting is illegal

Along comes Ruben Cervantes (Javier Bardem), an old race pal who is now the owner of his own Formula One team and is in desperate need of a driver. Bringing the old rooster into Ruben’s coup ruffles the feathers of nearly everyone, and none more than young cockerel Joshua Pierce (Damson Idris, looking and acting so vintage Eddie Murphy it’s spooky). Egos flare, insults fly, drivers (and cars) crash. But will they also burn?

F1 is a farely well-worn story retold. No surprises, no new ground. Lots of high-octane car action. The pacing of one of the longest movies so far this year might have been pefect. The characters had their own issues and motivations. They maybe could have even fleshed them out a bit more, but whatever. F1 was still a great surprise in a really lean movie year. And at the checkered flag, the Average Dude is giving F1 a very watchable 4.2/5. It’s not Days of Thunder or Talladega Nights or Cannonball Run rewatchable, but it’s a really pleasant surprise none-the-less. Dinos be darned.

BONUS Reviewer

The Average Dude is fortunate in that one of my boys happens to be a serious F1 fan. Not fan like he’ll catch the races on YouTube or a relplay on ESPN. No, my boy will stay up to watch the race live from Abu Dhabi (which happens at crazy times when most rational folks are asleep). So, Average Son – the youngest – was able to shed the light of reality on F1. Knowledge of the sport and the rules dampened his enjoyment of it a bit but didn’t crash it alltogether. So, if you’re a Formula One afficionado, you can still enjoy it. Unless you’re a purist. Then you’re on your own.

*Will there be a review for ELIO? Answer: ELIO was very forgetable. Was it woke? Yeah, it was. It had a non-traditional family, a disenfrachised minority, a galactic socialist society where all were pacifist cowards (the Comuniverse). ELIO was just eye candy for kids that contained subltle woke overtones. There’s your review. 2/5.

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How to Train Your Dragon is nothing new

Right out of the gate, let it be known that How to Train Your Dragon is one of my favorite animated features of all time. The entire trilogy is excellent. Definitely high on the annual watch list. It may be a perfect movie. And when I saw they were doing a live-action remake of HtTYD, I was gonna see it.  No question about it.

And don’t even get me started on Snow White

It should also be known that The Average Dude has, in fact, only ever seen one live action remake. Aladin starred possibly the only actor (at the time) that could come close to touching the excellence of Robin Williams in the role of Genie. Genie is iconic, and now I know the performance is never going to be equalled, even by an actor with as much talent and charisma as Will Smith (again, at the time). I was, to my surprise, sumarily unimpressed.

When Lion King came out with a LAR (live action remake), I passed. Beauty and the Beast, pass. Jungle Book, pass. I could have maybe gone to see The Little Mermaid. But the whole race-swap thing left me cold. So again, hard pass.

But How to Train Your Dragon? The visuals alone were enough to get me psyched. So yeah, Average Dude was IN.

LARs are a bad idea. Here’s why.

I think this review is going to be pretty short. Anyone who has seen the animated original already knows the story. You already know you love it. Nothing I could say here is going to spoil anything. And anyone who HASN’T seen the original – released 15 years ago – you had time to avoid spoilers. Because here’s the thing…How to Train Your Dragon is nearly scene for scene, line for line, a remake of the animated classic. Literally, the only conceivable attraction of this movie is seeing a real Hiccup, a real Stoick the Vast. And of course…a real Toothless. Or so you would think.

The reality didn’t live up to the fantasy

And this is my biggest takeaway from How to Train Your Dragon…Toothless is like your family dog. Your dog has emotions. Your pooch has personality. They all have subtle facial expresions and mannerisms that you can interpret. And those expresions were masterfully captured in the animated movie. Not so much in the live action feature. I didn’t see that coming and, to be honest, I am surprised at how hard it hit me. It absolutely turned what I thought would be an enhancement of a beloved animated tale and just made it…meh. Not bad, per se. Just not what I expected.

And in movies, we are trained to have expectations. Literally, that’s what trailers are for.

apparently, it’s still bringing in the bucks

I might be forgiven for not knowing that a verbatim LAR of a well-loved animated classic might evoke that kind of disappointment (having only one other experience with them). The movie industry cigar-chompers must be fully knowledgeable of this by now. Even so, they still do them. They must be making money. We keep going to see them. Will we ever learn? I don’t know about the rest of you, but I have taken the lesson to heart. Truly I have.

So, did ! enjoy it or not?

That’s the big question, isn’t it? How to Train Your Dragon – the whole trilogy – is on the annual watch list. And since the LAR was nearly an exact retelling, the answer, I guess, is ‘yes’.

BUT…

…and it’s a really BIG BUT…it’s not much different than rewatching the cartoon. And in many ways, it’s a poorer experience. Next year, I’ll watch the cartoon, not the LAR. No contest. If the LAR is your first time watching How to Train Your Dragon I’m confident that you’ll enjoy it. I’m betting there aren’t many of you in that category. For those few, I’ll give it a 4.5. For the overwhelming majority of viewers, I’ll give it a 3.5. Nothing has been enhanced, nothing new was added. And it’s a giant head’s up that the Average Dude is out on any future LARs.

Oh, and because it was hilariously unscripted and unintended…I asked (as I always do) what Mrs Average Dude thought of HtTYD. She said, and I quote: ‘I liked it. But is was draggin’ in the middle a bit.’ That really happened. I love her so much.

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Mission Impossible The Final Reckoning – I nearly forgot about you

So, lets take a little look at entertainment history. Bear with me here. There was once a time…a magical, wonderous era…where a movie sequel would be released around a year (sometimes much less) after its popular predecessor. Nowadays, two years is about the norm. Back in the day, a 2-3 year wait to find out what happened to Han Solo encased in carbonite was torturous. A cliff-hanger that had us all nearly euphoric with anticipation.

But now…? Eh, not so much

Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning was released in 2023 to a tepid box office take (total gross: $571M). Mission Impossible the Final Reckoning seems on pace to at least equal that, making it a financial success for the studios. There isn’t nearly the level of excitement we had hoped for in what is reputed to be the FINAL installment of the MI franchise (until the inevitable reboot, of course).

So why the lackluster response?

It doesn’t take an overthinker (like me) to deduce the reason for the lukewarm level of anticipation. Two years of waiting today isn’t like two years of waiting back in the early 80s. Back then, we had way fewer distraction options than we do today. It’s easy for us to move on to the next Squid Game or Dutton epic. I guess its just the times we live in and we have no choice but to get used to it. Or go live off-grid.

No offense to Arnold

Even so, I was locked in on going to see Mission Impossible the Final Reckoning on opening weekend. There was enough memory of part one to entice me to see it to its conclusion. Truth to tell, a lot of that was due to the fact that this was a Tom Cruise movie. And as most of us have come to believe, Tom is Hollywood’s last actual movie star, if not the last action hero. Tom is bankable by both Hollywood and the ticket buying audience.

To Recap

Mission Impossible the Final Reckoning picks up roughly where Dead Reckoning left off. Ethan Hunt and crew have both of the crusiform keys. That’s not a spoiler. If you haven’t watched Dead Reckoning, that’s on you. You had two years. But Ethan doesn’t know what the enemy – a Skynet level AI – wants it for. On top of that, it turns out that everybody – even his own government – wants the tech that this key initializes because it would give them an unchallengable military advantage. Once again, enemies on all sides. Par for the course.

They call it a flaw, but I disagree

If Mission Impossible the Final Reckoning sounds a bit convoluted, you are right. It is.  And the writers realized that. So, they strategically placed short scenes of exposition to keep the audience up to speed on the next phase of the operation. Some reviewers are banging on the movie because of this. I actually appreciated it. When there’s a lot happening, it really helps. And not for nothing, but do none of them remember that this kind of pre-op exposition is a staple of MI movies? Sheesh. It feels like they are looking for reasons to dog this movie. Cynical much? Maybe. Justified? Also maybe.

Either way…

Whatever their reasons for dissing on Mission Impossible the Final Reckoning, The Average Dude enjoyed it for what it was…an action movie with well-established characters. I loved that it brought back a lot of memberberries from Mission’s gone bye like the Rabit’s Food (MI 3, my favorite of the franchise).

But for all it’s questionable storytelling, it wasn’t the fireworks and ‘splosions sendoff for an amazing set of characters that we wanted. And for that, we are sad. They tried to tug our hearts a bit, but it really didn’t land in the feels like they hoped it would. Neither did the suggested love interest. The action sequences were stellar, the supporting cast interactions much less. It was our goodbye to them, as well, you know. We hardly got to even wave at them.

But the movie on the whole was good enough. The Average Dude gives Mission Impossible the Final Reckoning a 3.9 out of 5. Not quite good enough for the Four Star club. It is enjoyable and we’ll miss the whole crew. And if they decide to do one more last MI, we’ll watch and hope for a more emotionally satisfying sendoff.

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Sinners is good, but it’s no Oh Brother, Where Art Thou

Sinners has been at my local moviehaus for a couple of weeks now. I like Michael B Jorday as an actor. I like period pieces. And I like lots of Ryan Coogler’s work. That should have been enough to get me in a seat on opening weekend, right? In a perfect world, sure. But surprising to no one, we are in a far from perfect world right now.

TBH, there wasn’t anything really compelling to go see this weekend. There was a re-reboot of a horror franchise. There was also an opaquely defined Jenna Ortega movie. And Sinners had a lot of positive chatter so I thought I’d give it a look.

Was it one movie or two?

It wasn’t plainly stated in the trailer, but Sinners is a depression-era vampire movie. Mr and Mrs Average Dude don’t normally go in for horror movies (and Mrs AD didn’t care for Sinners at all) but I’ve enjoyed a few bloodsucker flicks in my day (Lost Boys is a favorite). And I didn’t hate Sinners. The casting was excellent , the cinematography and set design were fantastic. Solid foundation for a movie.

But a horror flick is not how Sinners started out. It began as the story of two brothers – twins – coming home to their Mississippi roots from the Oz-like world of Chicago, where they plan to start their own ‘juke joint’ empire. And a pair of black men from Chi-town trying to get rich in a small southern town at the height of Jim Crowe would be a compelling story in its own right.

Wait, what now?

On opening night of their new black’s only nightclub, a trio of white Irish vampires roll up to the front door and can’t get past the bouncer. Not because the bouncer was tough enough to keep them out, but because of the vampiric rule that says the owner of the house has to allow a vampire entry. This an often overlooked vampire trope but whatever. I have no idea what Ryan Coogler (not jus the director, but the writer) was thinking with this twist.

The second reel of Sinners was a bloody guess at who was gonna get et next. Pretty standard horror movie fare and it worked very well because reel one did its job of establishing the characters. The transition was somewhat jarring, sure. And the origination of the vampires left a lot of unaswered questions. But whatever.

And then, yet another change of direction. Or reversal. Not really sure.
After the vampire battle ended came a second finale, the one that we might have expected if the vampires never arrived at the party. The one that you would expect from a bigoted, Jim Crowe-era southern town. And either one on it’s own is fine. But together…? I have thoughts. The endings seem to contradict each other. More than that I can’t really say without dropping spoilers (which I, of course, will not do). You’ll see what I mean.

But whatever the reason, Sinners felt like a compelling depression-era movie about two black brothers wanting to carve out their own fortune in a time when the world was stacked against such dreams. Then, Coogler woke up one day during production and said ‘I want to make this a vampire movie instead’ and off he went. Maybe luck or maybe skill, but combining both Sinners movie worked. Kind of, anyway.

Civility ignored

So, let me throw out a comment that is sure to garner some vibrant responses. It’s not ment to be provocative. But it is a growing problem for loyal moviehaus-goers.

There are always folks who arrive during the previews. It happens to all of us and that’s fine. The polite thing to do is to quietly take your seat with as little disruption as possible. Can we all agree on that? If we can’t, read no further, please.

More importantly, it is an absolute no-no to talk during the movie itself. Whispers are not rude (up to a point). Conversations at audible levels over the movie itself (and all the way to the back of the theater) are a show of absolute disregard for everyone else in the theater. I see it with all ages, all demographs. Is it generational? Is it cultural? Is it an indication of society’s inexhorable decent into self-indulgent narcisism? Probably all of those things but this isn’t the place for such discussions. All I am saying is we would have enjoyed Sinners a lot more if not for a row of talkers. If that is you or has ever been you, grow up. Or grow a conscience. Be a real person. Thanks.

Such is the age we now live in

Nowadays, civility is often considered an antiquated value at best and a show of weakness at worst. Entitlement is just another name for selfishness, and these days, embracing the victim mentality has given a false justification to selfishness. And if my drawing attention to it instead of ignoring it makes you angry, maybe thou needest to self-examine thyself. Opinion.

But back on point. Even though Mrs Average Dude and I disagreed on Sinners, I am still giving the movie itself a very respectable 3.5 out of 5. Good performances. Great sets. Writing choices were a bit jarring but still okay for all that. Sinners is a movie worthy of your money and corn. I just hope your theater experience is more courteous than ours.

Oh, and one more thing that was weird for no real reason. There was a subplot about how some music is so sublime it could summon evil. At one point, we were give a scene that I think was supposed to be visionary but just seemed bizzare and out of place and it definitely yanked us out of the movie. It was never really expanded upon and just seemed superfluous. Writer/director’s perogative, I guess. But whatever.

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