Category: Movie Reviews

Now You See Me Now You Don’t – Long Time No See

People have been saying it for years now…Hollywood has run out of ideas and all they are doing now is pumping out sequels. There’s a lot of truth to that. I mean, what was the last truly original blockbuster the big studios have produced? Avatar (2009)? A Quiet Place (2018)? The Matrix (1999)? It’s almost axiomatic that big hits will spawn sequels. It’s baked into the Hollywood money machine, bro. Turns out that Now You See Me Now You Don’t is no exception.

Running out of ideas: the Receipt

Now You See Me Now You Don’t is the third installment of the franchise. The original appeared on the big screen way back in 2013, joining the growing list of franchises that were resurrected more than a decade later. It doesn’t make a huge amount of sense to wait that long for a third installment. The official reason for the gap was ‘scheduling and development’, which I ain’t buying. But whatever. It is what it is.

Remember when David Copperfield flew?

The Average Dude was a big fan of Now You See Me. It doesn’t hurt that I’m a fan of magic, misdirection and illusion. Sure, it’s all very WWE…we know it’s fake but we just don’t care. We love the entertainment value. And BONUS: the Now You See Me franchise has a second payoff that shows you how the magic is made. Some folks absolutely don’t want to peek behind the curtain. I, myself, love seeing how things work.

Guest Reviewer 2.0

So, my awesome dude-friend Drew was in town for a few days and graciously gifted me an evening where we could grab a burger and a show. You may remember that Drew and I saw Superman this past summer and shared our thoughts with all of you here on Average Dude Movie Reviews. We are happy to do it again (and as often as Drew is in town, for that matter).

Without further ado…

AD: I was always going to go see Now You See Me Now You Don’t. My hope was to see new theatrics, new illlusions, new secrets revealed. NYSM3 totally delivered once again.

Drew: I thought it was great. Even though this franchise is also falling into the trap of keep shooting out sequels thing, the movie itself still felt fresh to me. Maybe its cause of how much time they take between each film where when a new one comes out its like “oh yeah, I did like that film. Maybe I’ll enjoy this one.” So its not overkill like we kinda started seeing with something like Jurassic Park/Jurassic World franchise.

Anyways, story itself was great and I enjoyed the twist. I kept looking for it cause once you’ve seen these movies you know there’s a twist somewhere. I actually think I enjoyed this twist better than in the last film. But that could just be me.

AD:Absolutely. The unforseen twist is a hallmark of the franchise.
It was nice to see Henley’s character return (Isla Fisher). I had actually forgotten that she was replaced in Now You See Me 2. I remembered the basic plot of NYSM2 and that Harry Potter was the villain of the movie. Not a lot else I recalled so it’s no surprise that the franchise faltered. More receipts that bringing it back may have been as much a product of lack of Hollywood courage and imagination as it was public demand.

Dudes that dig the magical red-head

Drew: Isla Fisher coming back was awesome. I didn’t mind Lizzy Caplan taking on the 4th horseman role in the second film. But that character didn’t have the same charisma and magic (haha, see what I did there) as Henley. Lulu was better in this one though.

AD: And Now You See Me Now You Don’t is not really a continuation of the whole ‘Eye’ mythos (which has a kind of Illuminati feel to it) but more of a reboot. A changing of the guard. We’ll see if there is enough interest or desperation to fuel a fourth.

Drew: So I heard rumor that a 4th film was already green lit. I just wonder how long we’ll have to wait. I will say it was slightly disappointing that the Eye was not a huge focal point in this one as the end of the second film they actually were inducted into this organization. So for a fourth film, I would like to see this explored more.

AD: So, what parts worked for you and what didn’t?

Drew: The story like I said felt fresh, the character dynamic was great as well. The new characters I thought did pretty good with the original, however, the new characters I don’t think would’ve been able to hold the movieon their own. But together, I thought they were pretty good. I think they’ve hinted at a few ideas with original and new characters and potentials for spinoffs that I would like to see. Again, I just would like to see them explore the mythos of the Eye more.

AD: I thought the interplay between the original Horsemen and the new blood was carried by the OG. Jesse Eisenberg crushed the role and I can’t imagine it working without his stellar performance. Woody Harrelson is awesome in whatever he does (his small part in 2012 was my favorite part of that movie). James Franco was adequate and Isla Fisher is still the eye candy of the show. The new crew didn’t really land with me all that much. Justice Smith and Ariana Greenblatt were recognizable (barely) but Dominic Sessa was a complete unknown. If this was supposed to be a passing of the torch, it felt clunky.

Now You See M3…the scores

AD: So shoot me a number. You know how we do things here. Out of 5, what do you give Now You See Me Now You Don’t?

Drew: I’d go with a 4 out of 5.

AD: Nice. That’s exactly where I landed. In a year that’s second only to Covid Year 1 in terms of disappointments, getting a score of 4 is high praise. Thanks for stepping in again. It was fun hanging out and doing what dudes do. We’ll definitely do this again (*Note – I’m going to draft him into a guest review for season 1 of ‘The Promised Land’. I just haven’t asked him yet). And just because it’s awesome, here’s a little pic of Drew having a little father-son bonding time that’s too cute not to share. What a smile!

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Kind of like Ariana herself*

Okay, I’m going to admit right up front that whatever enthusiasm I had to see Wicked For Good had waned nearly to the point of evaporation. Insert your own ‘somebody get that girl a sandwich’ joke here*. Most of that is going to be due to an almost gut-wrenching distaste for some of the statements, opinions and career choices of Cynthia Erivo. Absolutely take note: this is NOT a race thing. Not. One. Bit.

Anyone who wants to throw shade at me for that take can just buzz off. I don’t hate anybody, no matter the identity politics. I do hate behaviors, though. And I do hate some choices. Those things have no gender, no political affiliation. No skin color.

Septum rings are really unattractive. I find super-long fake fingernails that look like talons and prevent the wearer from doing most simple tasks that hands were made for, unattractive. I find more piercings than I have shirts hanging in my closet unattractive.

For sure, I most DEFINITELY find acting in a stage play that mocks Jesus, unattractive. And pitiable. And dangerous. But that’s a different conversation.

Take a wild guess which

The point being, it’s hard for me (and for most people, I suspect) to completely separate the role from the public personality. It works both ways. I see Denzel’s off-screen behavior and it make me want to go see Equalizer 3. In the information age, you HAVE to be aware of these things. Ask Rachel Zegler. And Sydney Sweeney. One of them I’ll actively watch and the other…not so much.

Is there any more magical place in all of literature?

The Average Dude saw Wicked, the stage production, and enjoyed it. I knew little about Cynthia Erivo when the first installment of Wicked came out. The thought of seeing a return to the magical land of Oz on the big screen with modern CGI was exciting and I went to see it opening night with enthusiasm. You can check out my review of it at https://www.barredlands.com/admr-wicked/ I called it ‘turkey and stuffing for the eyeholes’. And that is definitely true. Wicked part one set the table for Wicked for Good. It 100% brought the enchantment of Oz to vibrant life. Everything we hoped for out of modern cinema delivered and even exceeded expectations.

Gone For Good, as it were

For anyone who did not see the stage production and did not know how the story ended, Wicked For Good might have been a satisfying ending. Having prior knowledge, all I could do is wait to see if the movie stayed true to the original and enjoy the CGI feast.

What I didn’t expect is this…the second installment focused on the political commentary side of the Wicked retelling. Gone were the fantasy and spectacle of Oz itself and we were doused in the cold water of reality. Wicked For Good became just another movie with a socio-political axe to grind (literally, oh Tin Man). The feeling of it being an event was missing. Elitism and animal rights and lies, oh my!

But is it worth seeing???

The answer to that is kind of weird. It was a two part movie. If you saw Wicked, you were always going to see Wicked For Good. But in truth, it lacked the majestification and jubulocity of the first. It felt simultaneously rushed and overlong (despite being about an hour shorter than the first). Was it a satisfying conclusion to the story of Glinda and Elphaba? Eh, mostly, I suppose. Though only in the way that NOT knowing how it ends would have been unforgivably disappointing. All the good songs were in Wicked. Very little in the way of choreography. It was just…less.

So…the Average Dude is giving Wicked For Good a middle of the yellow brick road 3.1 out of 5. Nobody in this movie was really someone to root for except maybe the lovelorn Boq, who was massively underused. Glinda was still shallow and vain but showed some character growth (eventually). Personalities and charcter motivations seemed to change constantly giving WFG a disjointed feel. In the end, it just felt like the deconstruction of a classic that didn’t improve anything. I know that is a downer, and I’m sorry for that. I am just guh-lad that I didn’t go see it on Christmas weekend. That’s no way to end the holidays.

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The Fall of Bachman

Your friendly neighborhood Average Dude has long been a fan of the works of Stephen King. There was a time when I could boast that I had read everything he ever published. The King of the Macabre doesn’t seem to be slowing down in his output, and the Average Dude just does not have the time to flip pages like I once did. Even so, I still remember, way back in the whenever, buying an anthology by SK called ‘The Bachman Books’. In it were 4 novels. Roadwork. Rage. The Long Walk. And The Running Man. The greater two have been made (or remade) into movies and released this fall. And your Average Dude has absolutely been here for it.

With All Due Respect to Ahnold

The Average Dude remembers seeing the 1987 version of The Running Man in theaters. I enjoyed it for what it was…an over-the-top futuristic (80s imagination of the future, that is) action flick, complete with spandex jumpsuits and video game villains. Subzero. Fireball. Buzzsaw. The opera-singing Dynamo (my personal favorite). And of course, Captain Freedom, played by the always enjoyable Jesse Ventura. Oh and I just learned that Mic Fleetwood (of the band Fleetwood Mac) had a cameo. Nice.

Literally, it’s you against the world

The remake stars Glen Powell as Ben Richards, the everyman hero. Desperate to get his wife and sick daughter out of ‘Slumside’, Ben volunteers to be on the hottest death-game show on the Network (because that’s what TV has devolved into in the dystopian future): The Running Man.

On this show, participants are given a 12 hour head start. After that, it’s open season on them. If any of the runners can make it 30 days on the lam, they win one billion ‘new dollars’. Not an easy feat with a team of ‘Hunters’ locked and loaded and using all their high-tech resources to chase them down. But wait, there’s more! Average citizens can win cash and prizes for assisting in the hunt. And the kill.

an apples to oranges comparison

Its not even fair to ask which version was better. They are different movies for different eras. Campy, shiny distopian futures were all the rage in 1987. Arnold Schwarzenegger’s equally over-the-top physique was the archetype action hero. In 2025, gritty, hardscrabble existance filled with elitism and devoid of hope seem more realistic. Likewise, a more everyman looking hero (until you shed the jumpsuit, that is. #unintentionalbodyshaming) has more audience appeal.

I hear he hated it

The Running Man (1987) was relatively early in Stephen King’s movie adaptations (a mere 11 years since Carrie first scared the crap out of us). So it’s understandable how he would be convinced to allow movie studios to contort his story into what they think will be profitable. In so saying, the first adaptation bear’s little resemblance to the actual story and Stephen was not happy with that at all.

Not so with the 2025 version. The remake is very – if not perfectly – loyal to the source material. I’m pretty sure that King has more sway with the studios now. I hear he was pleased with this version.

I may be biased, I’ll admit

So, lets get this spoiler-free review across the finish line. Is it worth your 2 hrs and 13 minutes? The Average Dude says ‘yes’. Maybe it’s because I loved the source material. Maybe it’s because I’m a Glen Powell fan. Whatever. I loved this movie.

Was it a little bit long? Yeah, maybe (Mrs. Average Dude thought so). Were there some convenient events that drove the plot forward? Some say there were (like the Critical Drinker, one of my favorite reviewers). But in fairness, those kind of convenient occurrances happen all the time in movies. Or stories of any kind. What would Saving Private Ryan be if they had radioed around and found him? What if Bilbo had never stumbled upon a tiny gold ring in a cave? You get my point.

So, your humble Average Dude is happy to give The Running Man a very watchable 3.5 out of 5. Not an annual watch, no. But I’m sure I’ll see it running down the streaming channel some day and give it another view. Grab some corn and give it a watch. I wasn’t sorry and I don’t think you will be, either. The Critical Drinker was off track on this one, I say. Calling it a remake is absolutely incorrect. It’s a different movie altogether.

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Tron Ares plays on some very real fears

The Average Dude remembers watching Tron and Tron Legacy in theaters. Tron the original was ground-breaking for it’s time, the great great grandfather of CGI. It started something I don’t think anybody really comprehended. For better or worse is a debate for another time (and with lots of beers).

Tron Ares returns to the story of Kevin Flynn, the creator of ‘the Grid’ from where the world of Tron originated, and brings it to the waking, physical world. Tron Ares doesn’t spend any time at all trying to strap any psuedo-science to how that is possible. For the sake of storytelling, the abity to created living, breathing beings and fully functional science happens nearly instantaneously and seemingly out of thin air. There is one drawback. The tech that spawns Ares will only remain stable for 29 minutes before colapsing like a tower of Legos that got Thanos-snapped.

What we need…is a MacGuffin!

To solve this problem, the greatest tech powers in the world are frantically searching for ‘the Permanence Code’. This a plot device that will allow their constructs to maintain cohesion. Literally, for better or worse. The Better: Encom CEO Eve Kim, searching for the code to allow them to create food, medicine and other resources to help humanity. The Worse: Dillinger Systems. Led by the soulless Julian Dillinger. He wants to use the tech to create a horrifyingly powerful military.  With Master Control Program Ares as the leader, Dillinger creates an endless cadre of super-soldiers. Was there a need for such an overwhelming fighting force? No idea.

Apparently, they made this AI too I

As the leader of the Dillinger Grid consciousnesses, Ares was, for reasons unknown, able to reason things more deeply. Deeply enough to begin questioning his created purpose. From that awakening morality, Ares sussed out the unethical motives of Julian Dillinger. And when Ares was commanded to capture Eve and deliver her to the Grid (where the newly discovered Permanence Code could be extracted), he declined to obey. The Ares rebellion was on.

That’s the basic thrust of Tron Ares. You can kind of guess the nuts and bolts of the rest of this movie. Another Master Control Program is appointed to take down Ares. Lots of modernized callbacks to the classic Tron tech (like the light-bike, the floating behemoth Recognizer, even the Bit character made a cameo). And, of course, an obligatory appearance by Jeff Bridges as Kevin Flynn. All the remember-berries were there and that was great.

I know I’m in the minority here…

I don’t know if there is enough excitement over Tron Ares to spawn a sequel (to the sequel to the sequel, that is). Jarod Leto did a perfectly serviceabe job making the most of a script that was pretty vanilla and relied on great CGI. And I’m going to go on record saying that I didn’t hate Leto’s take on the Joker in the much (and deservedly) maligned Suicide Squad. He owned it, turned it on it’s side and did the very best he could. No one disagrees that Ledger’s take was permanently established as the gold standard. Leto commits, and I love that. Sorry, not sorry.

The walking out of the theater grade is…

The Average Dude is giving Tron Ares a decent score of 3.6 out of 5. It was a popcorn pusher very much like Jurasic Park: Rebirth was. Watch it, chew some corn and chocolate (I love putting them both in my face at the same time) and step out of the world for a couple of hours. As Matthew 6:34 says, “…tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” It’s okay to get away for a bit.

Not every one is meant to earn a statue

Speaking of Jurasic Park: Rebirth and Tron Ares, I have to take exception with a few of the other reviewers I follow out there.

I don’t know whether it’s a pitfall of constantly watching movies and grading them (for you…always for you, my Average Legion). But I feel like some once-trusted and enjoyable reviewers (looking at you, Critical Drinker, you irascible but lovable curmudgeon, you) have gotten maybe a wee bit too critical in their reviews. I know…it’s right there in the name…I get it. Even so….

Your Average Dude continues to look for the good in every movie and can still suspend disbelief and feel the ride. It’s what movies were made for, after all. I hope you don’t completely lose that joy.

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Good Boy was a no-brainer for Average Dude

Your humble Average Dude is a sucker for dogs, it’s no secret. I love them all and automatically ascribe a reciprocal affection to them (sometimes to my regret, granted). Not sorry, even a little bit. Dogs have enhanced my life immeasurably and deserve my respect, appreciation and love.

The list is long

Whenever I see a new dog movie coming out, I automatically circle it on my watch calendar. A Dog’s Purpose. Arthur the King. The Art of Racing in the Rain. Marley & Me. Hachi. Togo. Megan Leavey. 8 Below. Turner and Hooch. How far into history do you want to go? I’ll go back to Benji and Old Yeller. Most of those are on the annual watch list.

No respect, I tell ya

When I saw the movie poster for Good Boy, I was immediately intrigued. A horror movie where the dog is the star? Who wouldn’t be intrigued? I watched the trailer, which is always a highlight real designed to increase interest. It was a little vanilla and that was disappointing. But I was invested, already IN, and I’ll tell you why later.
So, I went to my local moviehaus website to check movie times for Good Boy. That’s when I discovered…Good Boy is an indy film (literally. Just wait for it). There was only ONE Saturday night showing in the smallest theater they have, complete with recliners that haven’t yet been repaired. This was the orphan annie of theaters. Disappointment #2.

I really had no choice but to go see Good Boy
Never mind the fact that I’m a big time dog guy (I have a FB hashtag called Random Street Dog Selfies). What really guaranteed that I was always going to go see Good Boy was the name of the dog – Indy. That happens to be the nickname of my youngest daughter (and it is the PERFECT nickname for her, on all levels). The name of Indy’s human? Same as mine. How could I not go?

The Dog is the thing

There is NO dog movie ever made, or even a movie that had a dog IN it, where the dog wasn’t the main focus whenever he/she was on screen. Likewise, there is no movie where the dog dies that the moment isn’t the most gut-twisting scene in said movie. I give you I Am Legend. Or John Wick. Heck, every time Baily died in A Dog’s Purpose my feels were mauled. And the masochist in me just had to know if Indy was going to make it through Camp Crystal Lake unscathed, scathed or buried in the backyard ‘neath his favorite oak tree. And I aint tellin’.

Good Boy is the cradle to REDACTED story of Indy, brought into Todd’s life a pup and journeying with him through life, as a good dog does. The tale is told completely from Indy’s point of view, always the focus. I’ve discovered that it is infinitely easier to become invested in a dog on screen than it is a person. You don’t need time to get to know them or their motivations or what makes them tick. They’re either loyal and devoted or they’re fur-covered razor blades (to quote Gibs in True Lies). They will quickly let you know which.

Dogs and Death

Indy’s human Todd is dealing with the death of his grampa and has decided to come to terms with it by going to live in the remote forest home where he died. As inseparable as dog and owner tend to be, Indy is there every step of the way. Such a good boy.

Todd tries to come to terms with life and death the way any well-balanced young man does…by watching old videotaped horror movies left by the deceased on an antiquated b/w tv in the middle of a forest. In the rainy season. Of course he did.

So, as Todd wrestles with demons that may be real, may be of his own making, faithful Indy stands watch over everything. Ever on guard, ever forgiving, ever loyal. To the end.

That’s all I’m going to give up on Good Boy, other than to say that the decision to make this movie about the dog was really well done. With only a couple of exceptions, you never saw an actual human face (and mostly from a grainy videotape). Indy (his real name, in fact) is the unchallenged star of Good Boy and conveys the emotional tension of a horror movie expertly.

Supernaturality, viewd by man’s best friend

I think one of the overlooked qualities of Good Boy might be the way the director conveyed a supernatural element through the lense of a dog. It doesn’t have the brain power to wrestle with complex concepts like the supernatural. They resisted the very real temptation to imbue the dog with human sensibilities. It may be less cinematic, but certainly more truthful. I approve.

So, with great pride, I am giving Good Boy a very watchable 3.5 out of 5. At less than 1.5 hours, it doesn’t drag and doesn’t leave anything out. Stay for the credits to see some cool behind-the-scenes of Good Boy. I can definitely see Good Boy having a Blair Witch Project type following and spawning more ‘Hollywood-ish’ sequels. I’d be here for maybe one but certainly NOT here for Hollywood getting ahold of this IP and wrecking it soullessly.

Was it scary?

Not so much. A couple of jump scares and a lot of tension wondering what would happen to Indy in the end. Could have used maybe a little bit of Hollywood storytelling with Indy fighting the metaphysical. But all in all, a solid suspense semi-horror flick.

SO…go see Good Boy and then go home and spend some quality time with your own good boy or girl. I did. Took Henley and Ozwold on a late night walk. Henley crop dusted me the whole way.  They’re still my goo’ boys.

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Two things can be true at once

Okay, right off the bat, I want to say that One Battle After Another is a movie I could have done without seeing. But Average Dude, you might say… three stars is not a horrible score. Please elucidate. Glad to.

A downer movie, week two

One Battle After Another is the story of ‘Ghetto’ Pat Calhoun (Leonardo DiCaprio), a member of a way left of left domestic terrorist group called the French 75. They’re main heartburn is with the detaining and deportation of illegal immigrants and will go to great lengths to free them. Queue the explosions. To their credit, they don’t seem to want to actually kill anyone. Kind of antithetical to the whole terrorist thing, but okay.

Bow chicka bow-bow!

Engaging in acts of terrorism are an emotional high, across the board. It can almost be expected that there would be…liasons…between some of the terrorists. So saying, ‘Ghetto’ Pat developed a ‘relationship’ with Perfidia Beverly Hills (Teyana Taylor), an ultra-radical participant in a group of radical participants (which is saying something). Terrorism makes for the very strangest of bedfellows, apparently.

One of the good guys?

The primary adversary to the French 75 and the man tasked by the Gub’ment to bring them to justice is an Army Colonel Steven J Lockjaw, a stone-faced military lifer if ever there was one. Lockjaw is seemingly devoid of any emotion in his single-minded pursuit of his quarry (note that I said ‘seemingly’). It’s hard to actually get behind him as one of the good guys, but there he is, in all his self-righteous glory.

Remember, Safety first

Engaging in targeted acts of violence seems to me like a fairly unsafe way to spend time together. So, it comes as no surprise that the combatants would eshew any kind of safety in their tristing, and the product of such a dangerous liason would be a child. Enter baby Charlene. Charlene is adored by ‘Ghetto’ Pat, who takes to fatherhood easily and completely (in the context of being a terrorist, that is). But for Perfidia, not so much. In the end, Perfidia’s psychopathy catches both ‘Ghetto’ Pat and Charlene in its wake of chaos and destruction. Exit Perfidia Beverly Hills.

That’s as much of this movie as I’m prepared to give up. It sets the table fairly well and really gives up nothing. There are a few twists and turns to this story that, once started, they are kind of predictable.Like tipping the first domino, one leads to another.

The Good(ish), the Bad and the Ugly

Gonna say this as plain as I can. Although there were some really good performances by DiCaprio, Taylor and Penn, I did not like this movie. Really, not at all, and I’ll tell you why. Call me a sap, but I like a feel-good movie. Feel-good movies come in all genres, with different flavors of feel-good (think Aliens 2 feel-good vs Homeward Bound feel-good). In a feel-good movie, there’s always someone or something to root for.

But not in One Battle After Another. I could say that I was kind of rooting for Charlene, but in the end…? Maybe we had some empathy for ‘Ghetto’ Pat, being abandoned and trying to take care of a baby alone. But come on. He’s a terrorist. How much compassion for him are we expected to muster?

And Colonel Steven J Lockjaw? Really? Lockjaw? Someone actually named him this? From the first moments of seeing this character and hearing his cartoonish name, I could tell this was going to be a slanted story at best, not to be taken seriously at worst. Thanks to a committed performance by Sean Penn, I’m awarding it the former. Barely.

Ah, Sergio…we barely knew thee…

Added to the cast for no particular reason other than name recognition was Benicio del Toro as Sergio St. Carlos, a French 75 sympathizer and karate instructor. He had such a small part in this movie that we really didn’t have time or reason to develop any kind of attachment to him. A great talent totally wasted.

Once again, you’re welcome

After leaving the moviehaus, Mrs Average Dude and I really only had one takeaway. This was an ugly movie, with an ugly story and ugly characters. In most cases, not just ugly, but really detestable. There was not one thing to hang your hat on and say ‘I’m glad I saw that’. I half expected this walking in but knew you guys would benefit from my sacrifice. I’m also brutally reminded that you can have excellent performances in a vehicle that has zero redeeming value in it.

The Score

So, it is with full warning that I give One Battle After Another a 3 out of 5 in acknowledgement of performances that definitely got the message across, even if the message was horrible. Like most of you, I don’t really do artsy. Average Dude, and all. Why Hollywood decided this would be a good movie to make is beyond me. I can find no redeeming value in it and I’ll be glad to never watch this movie again.

Going to go watch the LotR trilogy to get my mind right.

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The Long Walk is no walk in the park

The Average Dude has been a longtime fan of the writings of Stephen King. I try to keep up and for a time, could say that I had read everything he had written. Adulthood overtook me at some point around Blockade Billy and now SK has left me in the dust. Still, I read him when I can. So when I saw The Long Walk (written under the pen name Richard Backman) was coming out as a movie, I was in 100.

Why is the future always dystopian?

The Long Walk is set in a super bleak dystopian future. Not a lot is said about why it was so bleak other than a cratered economy and a clearly militarized government. That’s fine. The why of the bleakness isn’t germaine to the story. No, this story is about one young man – Ray Garraty – who has submitted his name to the lottery to enter into the Long Walk competition.

The competition is as simple as it gets. Start walking. Last one walking wins a fortune in cash, in fame and social status. AND…they get a wish granted. For anything. Want to go to the moon? Bon Voyage. Women? Sure. A room in the White House? What time do you want your wake-up call, sir. You get the idea.

There’s a Down Side

There is a catch, though. The losers don’t get a pat on the back and a ‘better luck next time’. No, they all get a .223 calibur participation trophy, callously called ‘getting their ticket punched’. Literally, it’s an all or nothing proposition. Yikes. How desperate must the times be to roll the dice on participating in a ‘competition’ where the odds are 49 to one (because apparently, there are still 50 states in this alternate future) that you will get deleted from life?

And here’s where it really gets tough

Just two days before this movie premiered at our local moviehaus was the tragic assassination of Charlie Kirk. Like millions around the world, the Average Dude was devastated. Still am, in fact. And even though I had a sense of foreboding about going, go I went. To her absolute credit, Mrs Average Dude begged off on this one. I should have trusted her instincts. Watching The Long Walk – with all the innocents gunned down soullessly….it was just way too soon. This movie hits hard, for all the wrong reasons. And it’s making this review really, really hard to do.

I’m doing my best, okay?

Trying to set aside the murder of Charlie Kirk and giving an honest, untainted review of The Long Walk is not easy. In fact, it’s darn near Herculean. It takes careful examination of each sentence for objectivity. Not promising anything other than to give it my best shot.

The Year of the Bachman

The Long Walk was adapted from a story that SK wrote under the pseudonym Richard Bachman. Other notable movies written by King as Backman are Thinner and The Running Man, which got a long overdue remake that’s true to the story, unlike the Arnold Shvartzinvader* version of 1987 (which I didn’t hate, not gonna lie). Looking forward to that one, too!

Without giving anything away…

So, you know the basic premise of The Long Walk. Keep walking or else. If I’m summing it up, it’s like a cross between Hunger Games and Stand By Me (of course, it is). There’s a lot of really in your face, execution-style bloodshed. The directors really didn’t try all that hard to soften the blow. So, if you like that sort of thing, there you go and I’ll pray for you. I could have done without it and it speaks of a real desensitization problem in this world (Rats… it feels impossible to separate the current state of affairs and my reaction to this movie. Not gonna edit that last one out because it deserves consideration).

I have questions

For those who never read the original SK work (which I’m guessing is most of you), screenwriter J.T. Mollner made some changes that raise questions. First: he race-swapped almost all of the primary characters. I had to check to make sure, but it’s true. Pete McVries and Art Baker were both changed from white to black. Hank Olson was white, not Asian. Collie Paker was not Indiginous American. Did Mollner do this to be more ‘inclusive’? A case can be made.

Next: There’s the fact that the ending was changed from REDACTED to REDACTED. There’s some chatter from AI that says it was to provide a surprise to those of us who read the books. Ahhh, I’m not buying that. The scenes of the movie were really faithful to the source material. Why make the change at the finish line? I believe it was because REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED.

I brought mine

And, while not race-swapped, the character of Stebbins was REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED. There doesn’t appear to be any logical reason for that alteration, other than to REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED. Total transparency, I’m open to discuss the very real possibility that I’m imagining things. But you gotta bring receipts.

Finally, it’s no secret that SK is of one political opinion. He’s very vocal about it. It is not a stretch to think that he would be on board with slanting The Long Walk in support of those opinions. Add to that, casting Mark Hamill (also with well-publicized political leanings) as the Major (the figurehead of a militaristic government that sponsors the sadistic competition) seems a liittle too on the nose. The weight of evidence really only points one way.

Comrades in Arms

Even after all of that, there’s still a good part of this movie that I enjoyed. The whirlwind comraderie between Ray Garraty, McVries, Olsen and Baker was endearing and worth the watch, in my opinion. The fear and desperation when the reality of the situation finally sets in could have been portrayed better, at least as well as the visceral lethality. That might have been REDACTED.

So, with as much honesty as I can muster under some very disturbing real-world parallels, I’m still giving The Long Walk a 3.1 out of 5. Even though I’m saying it’s watchable, I’m also saying ‘Don’t go watch it’. At least, not yet. Save it for a time when tempers and emotions are not as raw as they are now. Like maybe in a year or two. Or maybe never. It’s hard to predict what the future brings.

And apologies for all the REDACTS this week. For folks who will disregard my warning and see it now, we can discuss. For those that have not seen it, I spoil nothing. This is the way.

 

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Will we disagree over Superman?

The Average Dude has many friends and is a big fan of respectful debate. So, when one of my most trusted buds came into town, I treated him to some very decent Mexican food and a show at my favorite moviehaus. Plus, it was Cheapskate Tuesday there. Bonus.

My friend Drew is a father of three…6, 4 and fresh out of the oven. So, he has very little opportunity to sit in a dark theater reclining seat and escape the heat for a couple of hours. The Average Dude was more than happy to swoop in to the rescue. And since we’re in the dead zone of August, I thought it might be cool to get an unbiased East coast opinion on my favorite movie of the summer. Complete with Average Dude snarky commentary. Take it away, Drew…

Superman: Hits Hard or Pulls Punches?

I will admit, I wasn’t the biggest Superman fan. Sure I’ve seen the original movies with Christopher Reeves, the attempt with Brandon Routh (Say what now? That movie had one of my favorite Superhero scenes of all time!), and the Snyderverse short lived run with Henry Cavill. So, a few years have passed and now we have another attempt and again replacing the lead actor with a new face taking on the mantle. Cue the Snyder fan “Boos” (yeah, Snyder was overly ambitious but I get it. It was a superhero arms race) and out of the sky dropped David Corenswet. Literally, this Superman falls out of the sky as his introduction (Nice one!).

So what did I think? Let’s start with a quick recap. Superman is not at all what I expected. Clark Kent has been Superman for 3 years now. The fact that James Gunn did not decide to go with another origin story is awesome (Agreed). Fans of DC all know how Superman came to be, we don’t need a recap. And if you need a recap, then you probably aren’t a fan.

The story begins with Superman already hurt and we are introduced to Krypto, the cute but not so helpful dog. The relationship between Superman and Krypto is great. Neither one “needs” each other, but they both care for each other which is a great take on the relationship between man and dog and one we don’t see often. Maybe in Turner and Hooch? Anyways, enough about that for now. Back to the rundown. (This I also agree with and hadn’t considered the non-traditional master/dog relationship. But this will play into one of my favorite moments of the movie.)

James Gunn does a great job of setting up the quick back story here. We get to see the message from Superman’s parents with a great cameo there. I won’t spoil it. And then back to the action as Superman goes back to help the people of Boravia which pretty much the rest of the movie goes into a conflict in Boravia. Of course there’s more like Clark and Lois’ relationship, dealing with Lex Luthor and his shenanigans, and a few other things that I don’t want to ruin.

The first time we are introduced to Lex Luthor played by Nicholas Hoult. I have to admit, when I saw that casting choice my first thought was “ehh really?” (me, too). But man, what a performance, Nicholas Hoult did a fantastic job bringing that character back to what it should’ve been. (Very much agree here. As far as Luthors go, I would rank them Hackman, Hoult, Rosenbaum Spacey and Eisenberg) Not what Jesse Eisenberg gave us. Guy saw Batman was in his movie and had no idea what villain he wanted to play. 1 minute he was Lex, next minute he was Riddler, then somehow he was himself. No, Hoult was a great choice for the role. We really got to see how power hungry Lex is, how much he hates Superman, and really how brilliant he is. His portrayal was a great counter to Superman in this movie.

Enough about Lex, what about the Justice Gang?! I absolutely loved that this rag tag group of superheroes was brought into this movie. I was afraid that James Gunn was trying to fit too much into the movie, but man this movie would not have been the same without them. Nathan Fillion as Guy Gardner was perfect (He was perfect).

And it’s hard to think Nathan Fillion who plays John Nolan in The Rookie (Never saw it)  could play another character that is so opposite of John Nolan. But man, he was awesome as Guy Gardner. Efi Gathegi is part of the team as Mr. Terrific. I really like this actor and it’s about time he got a role as a superhero. Last run was as Darwin in X-Men First Class and his character had so much potential that was ultimately wasted. As Mr. Terrific he brought so much to the table and I really think he shined in the role. I can’t wait to see him in more projects.

There was also Isabela Merced as Hawkgirl. Not the best part of the team, I guess she does instigate some things with Guy Gardner to get him to go off on hilarious tangents. But ultimately, I didn’t think she was the strongest part of the movie. Hopefully with more projects she’ll get better. Altogether, having the Justice Gang added more to the movie. (The Justice Gang – one suposes is the precursor to Justice League – is a dysfunctional group to say the least. The Maxwell Lord character will have a lot to do in the new DCU)

Okay, okay, okay enough about the superheroes. What about Clark/Superman and Lois’ relationship? After all, there really is no Superman without Lois right? (uhhh, no Lois without Superman, I’ll grant you. But Superman can stand alone. Or fly, if you like) Rachel Brosnahan is our new actress to take on the role of Lois Lane. This take on Lois was pretty good in my opinion (Also agreed. No offense to Amy Adams, but new Lois is really better). She wasn’t the typical damsel in distress and was a good support for Superman. Some humor in there too with an interview she does. Again, I won’t spoil it but this scene showcases the acting and characters very well. This take on Lois might be my favorite take.

Last, but not least, we get to see Clark Kent’s life. Mostly through his interactions with his coworkers at The Daily Planet. I honestly was not expecting this breakout character, but Jimmy Olsen was a favorite of mine (meh). Skyler Gisondo came out of nowhere with this role. I remember him from Vacation, playing the oldest Griswold son and how wimpy he was. Seeing him as Jimmy Olsen though was great. Side question, anyone else get Marty McFly vibes from him or just me (I did not, but interested if anyone else did)? Anyways, Jimmy’s character is loyal, smart, and humorous. He helps Lois tremendously in the film, which ultimately helps Superman. If this character does not continue in future projects, I’ll be disappointed. (I’d like to see the whole ‘Superman’s Pal angle, complete with Superman signal watch).

So final thoughts, I loved this movie more than I thought I would. I think this take on Superman showed not only his life as a superhero but his struggles with his human side and the choices he makes. To me, it made him even more likeable to see him struggle with some choices he had to make and ultimately come out on top. Seeing this, I think makes him more relatable versus just seeing Superman at his prime and basically nothing stopping him but a green rock. Plus, Superman’s speech after the climactic battle was a favorite of mine. (I liked that speech just fine, but the line that got me was Superman talking about rescuing Krypto. “He’s a dog!” Yeah. And he’s not even a very good one. But he’s out there alone… and probably scared.” On that line alone, it established the Superman-sized heart he has. At that point, I’m sold) I think I could go on and on about just that scene alone and why it is important for Superman’s character. But, for initial thoughts, I’ll just leave it at that. Altogether, I would give this 4.5 out of 5 stars. Honestly, I’m ready to watch it again to see if there is anything else I missed.

***So yeah, we agreed pretty much on everything. I initally gave Superman a 4.2 because the the horrendous break in Superman cannon coming from the translation of the message from Jor El and Lar El. Gunn has apparently listened to the HUGE backlash from the SuperFan community and has said he will retcon that mistake in the digital release. If so, that will vault the movie up to 4.5 status for me. Thank you for hearing us, JG!

Thanks for the guest review, Drew. We seem to agree on most points and I like your take on things, though I’m still trying to find the Marty McFly vibe. Still, I think we can make you a regular feature on the Average Dude Movie Review! Feel free to comment any time you have a differing opinion. I’ll be sure to correct you! ;D ***

 

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Nobody 2 starring Bob who?

Anybody who has watched Breaking Bad and the spinoff Better Call Saul knows who Bob Odenkirk is. I couldn’t think of a single place I’d seen him other than from the world of Walter White. And even after an IMDB look, I still only know him from his AMC work. Until, of course, we met Hank Mansell in Nobody.

It was a dark, dark time for theaters

Nobody was a covid movie, released on March 26th, 2021, on day 376 of the two week shutdown to prevent the spread. I remember those days in my local moviehaus. When theaters were again allowed to rip stubs, we were forced to put a buffer between us and my comfy reclining seat always smelled of the disinfectant cleaner that the ushers sprayed between shows. And while exactly when covid ended varies widely around the world, I think we in the US were pretty much over the Kung Flu scare by the summer of 2021. It took businesses a minute to catch up to the popular consensus, and I don’t think our theaters have ever recovered fully (or ever will, sadly).

But back on point

Nobody 2 picks up (more or less) where the first left off. Hutch Mansell has left his mundane existance (well…he kinda blew it up, to be honest) and has returned to the highly skilled gun for higher life he once lived. As one might imagine, that kind of lifestyle brings a lot of stress. A much-deserved vacation is not an unreasonable ask.

Ah, good times

Being the son of a well-travelled gun for hire (the always amazing Christopher Lloyd), Hutch and his brother Harry had so few good family memories. But the one he remembers most fondly is a trip to Plummerville and the tourist-trap ‘Wild Bill’s Majestic Midaway and Waterpark’. So, when he needed a little family time and a break from the grind (literally and figuratively) Hutch offers them the best memory he has. Queue the music.*

As one might have guessed (but not me, I was surprised), Hutch’s Plummerville childhood wasn’t as innocent as he remembered. And why would it be? His dad was a wetworks expert, after all. And it didn’t take a trouble magnet like Hutch long to find the evil underbelly of sunny Plummerville.

So why are there still monkeys?

Nobody 2 gives us more of what we loved in Nobody the first. Odenkirk plays the sad sack everyman character better than anyone. Never getting ahead, keeping his head just above water. Did Nobody 2 improve on it’s predicesor? Eh, no. Not really. But for this character, that’s actually kinda baked into the pie. No matter what situation life puts him in, he’s still that same everyman. The scenery changes but Hutch doesn’t. It’s sort of antithetical to the what we want in our sequels…character development. Evolution. It’s anti-Darwinian, but it works here.

Hey, she doesn’t make the rules. She just enjoys them

Nobody 2 returns all of the original cast (that didn’t get smoked, that is) and boasts some notable new names: Sharon Stone at her maniacal best (if only briefly), Colin Hanks, Colin Salmon, to name a few. And it should not go without mentioning the absolutely timeless Connie Nielson (60), humbly flaunting her ageless freak of nature gene. We should all be so fortunate.**

Nothing wrong with a good, greasy cheeseburger

So, to wrap it all up and put a bow on it that you saved from last Christmas, Nobody 2 is passable August ‘dead zone’ movie. A believable coda to the first and the Average Dude is giving it a modest 3 out of 5. I don’t know if we are hungry enough for a third helping. I kind of hope not. Nobody 2 is a nice cup of vanilla with a splash of chocolate sauce to finish off the Five Guys burger that was Nobody 1. If you go back and have a second dish of soft-serve, it might just make you a little sick.

*I was today days old when I realized Lindsey Buckingham was a dude. And who doesn’t love the dog barking at the end of the song? RIP Dinky.

**That would be me. The Average Dude’s Best Friend calls me a poor man’s Rob Lowe. The Average Dude abides.

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Fantastic Four First Steps is just the latest target

Online, the current bandwagon to jump on is spewing hate for the MCU. Phrases like Superhero Fatigue or MCU is dead are found everywhere you look. And to be totally fair, there is evidence to support that. Lots of evidence. I’m not going to cite the long, extensive list of MCU’s parent company’s failures (except for the Acolyte, which deserves to be shamed at every opportunity). We are all aware of Disney’s skydive sans-chute over the past few years. So, a healthy skepticism is absolutely warranted. It’s earned.

In Defense of Disney (and that ain’t easy)

Thankfully, it seems at least a little hopeful that Disney has finally gotten the hint. The types of content they have been farting out over the past half decade have cost them billions and someone on the higher floors of the Disney Tower of Isengard* finally took notice and changed course. DareDevil: Born Again was good. Mrs Average Dude and I LOVED Skeleton Crew. And I personally thought Thunderbolts was the best superhero movie so far this year. So yes, they’ve heard the siren call of their lost revenue, and that call is too strong to resist.

And that brings us to the long-awaited Fantastic Four First Steps. There are a small army of reviewers out there that have been using the wretched post-Endgame MCU to predict more comic book heresy. Your humbe Average Dude is not one of them. I get why they do it. They’re chasing clicks. Everyone wants to get the latest gossip, and when there’s so much chatter about the decline of Disney, people are gonna click.

Yeah, they dug their own grave, but grace

So sure, mistakes were made and Disney is trying to climb back out of the grave they dug. If you’ve been burned too many times to want to try them again, I get it. I’m not there yet. And I’m for sure not going to hate on their product before I even see it. So I saw it. And guess what? I thought it was pretty good. And especially compared to the tragedy of the 2015 Fant4stic, this movie was amazing. Perspective, people.

Galactus. Finally.

To put to rest all of the doom-criers and nay-sayers, Fantastic Four First Steps was not very woke. Yes, Sue Storm seemed to be the focal point of this team. Sure, Reed was portrayed as more of an egghead than a leader. I wouldn’t necessarily call that wokism. And finally, FINALLY, we get the Galactus we’ve been waiting for since the first FF movie way back in 2005. And they nailed it. Almost. There’s a little too much emotion in the cosmic entity that we grew up with, a little too much pettiness from one who is supposed to be so disconnected that murder on a planetary scale does not affect him. Other than that, they crushed it.

Marvel’s First Family, as the saying goes

As with the comic in its origin, The Fantastic Four are first and foremost about a family. That element came through from the very start and that was satisfying. We can mention the retro-world of Earth 828 (remember that) as being stylishly different and cool. We can ignore that Johnny Storm was as much a brain as he was a ladies man (huh?). And we can overlook that they removed Ben’s classic angst over being transformed into a Thing. We can even tolerate the Shalla-Bal version of the Silver Surfer (never actually called that in the movie). Oh, and lest I forget, the baby playing Franklin Richards was aDORable.

In the end, we got more than the click-bate critics predicted from Fantastic Four First steps. We got a solid, superhero family adventure on a cosmic scale. Not uh, fantastic, but certainly better than we had feared. A good summer blockbuster, nevermind the imperfections from we comic book purists.

So, after a very VERY long wait (because the FF was first hinted at way back in Phase One or Two), I am giving Fantastic Four First Steps a most agreeable 4.3 out of 5, barely edging out Superman but falling short of Thunderbolts. This Fantastic Four will one day be added to the Average Dude movie library, no doubt. Go and see it in a theater and on the very biggest screen. The arrival of Galactus deserves no less.

*The Tower’s name is Orthanc, for you non-LotR nerds out there.

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