Month: July 2026

 

Did we learn nothing from Barbie?

‘The Odyssey…now with even more unnecessary negative hype’ could have easily been the title of this review. The very right wing factions of this world had already branded this movie as a flop, a woke travesty of a timeless piece of classic literature. And to be totally fair, there was plenty of doubt to be cast (pun intended).

I know for a fact that there are many people who skipped The Odyssey opening weekend. In truth, I nearly did. I was not in a hurry to subject myself to nearly three hours of what I had every right to suspect would be a ‘new-age reimagining’ of a society that died out long ago. But such is my dedication to doing this review. It needed to be done. And going to see Barbie taught me that pre-release chatter can often be wrong. Never too old to learn.

Two movies for the price of one

Christopher Nolan’s adaptation (based on a modern feminist telling of Homer’s Odyssey) is full of both fantasy and human avarice. Brave warriors sail the oceans, battling all manner of mythical creatures while others navigate the no-less deadly waters of the corrupted hearts of man. There are literally two separate movies that masterfully dovetail into a finale that was most satisfying. No spoilers from me, but if you have ever read The Odyssey (I haven’t but we’ve all seen it in pieces, haven’t we?) then you know how it ends.

So, let’s address the ‘hype’

In first few minutes of The Odyssey, the whole Elliot Page controversy is clarified. Page did not portray Achilles, but an Ithacan soldier named Sinon. Sinon is a character that never appears in any of Homer’s works, but in Virgil’s poem The Aeneid. Sinon is left behind after the apparent withdrawal of the Greek army at Troy. His job was to convince the Trojans that the giant horse was a gift to Athena as an appeasement. The soldiers, believing Sinon’s lie, dragged the horse inside the walls of Troy. The rest is literary history.

Sinon did reappear briefly later in the movie. But overall, Page’s screentime was maybe 4 minutes? And zero battle scenes. None. Nolan was clearly wise enough to not have this tiny warrior actually fight anyone. I think Christopher Nolan knew what he was doing with this casting choice and it might just make him brilliant.* (see my post review comments)

The second elephant in the room

Moving on, we look at the second right-wing clutching of their pearls…the casting of Lupita Nyong’o as Helen of Troy. Race swapping her from a classic Greek beauty to an African beauty was, of course, a capitulation to current (and waning) Hollywood sensibilities.

Was it a smart choice? Eh, I don’t think so but I’m kind of done second guessing Nolan on these decisions. Again, you’ll see what I mean in the post. Enough to say that Nyong’o’s** screentime was even less that Page’s. That is to say…nearly non-existent and even less impactful to the overall story. Her acting talents never had a chance to shine and her part could literally have been played by anyone. So, the decision to use a big name and race swap the character can have no other explanation other than box-checking.

Lots of big names with little or nothing to do

If you are sensing a theme here, you’re not wrong. There are a whole bunch of names in The Odyssey that had a tiny amount of screentime. Much smaller than we were expecting. Jon Bernthal had a couple of scenes, only a few lines. Charlize Theron had a comparatively larger role but honestly, could have been played by anyone. And honestly, her performance was pretty bland. Zendaya’s turn as Athena might be a bit on-the-nose, as her current Hollywood cache as a beauty is second only to Sydney Sweeney (oh but how the tongues would have wagged if he had cast her). None-the-less, Zendaya did a fine job in her limited screentime.

It’s not nit-picking

If I’m being honest with you, I thought Tom Holland was a mis-casting, also borne of name recognition. His emotional range is fairly limited, from what I’ve seen. Matt Damon was fine, I guess. But nothing deserving any kind of nominations. I would probably give Anne Hathaway a nod for her role as Penelope (and she’ll probably get it, is my guess). John Leguizamo was good as well. As was Samantha Morton as Circe the witch. Pattinson was suitably villainous.So yeah, there were some really good casting choices. But it is super clear that Nolan was stuffing The Odyssey with as much star power as he could in an effort to create a bona-fide blockbuster. And judging from our packed theater, he scored.

The Odyssey was a success

I’m happy to be able to give The Odyssey a rousing 3.9 our of 5. There aren’t very many 3.9 movies in the Average Dude’s annual watch list. And the Odyssey definitely isn’t one of them. But it is a perfectly serviceable watch. Yes, it was the usual Chris Nolan slow-burn (but not as much as Oppenheimer, that’s a fact). The pacing and mix of political intrigue and fantasy action was well done. This three hours did not feel like it was dragging and I may rewatch it again someday. But not soon.

And to be completely honest, there is a wee bit of a slam to the patriarchy and a sense of feminist scorn, as if women of that age often lamented their place in that world. Right.

So, if you can put aside your preconceived opinions, you might find yourself enjoying the Odyssey. Did it have too many stars with not enough to do? Sure. Will it actually hinder Nolan’s bid for a second Best Picture Oscar? Time will tell. .

*I watched Michael Knowles review of The Odyssey. He backs his opinion with a much deeper knowledge of the source material than most of us (read your Average Viewer) possesses. He pointed out that, in the Aeneid, Sinon was cast into the lowest level of hades for being a deceiver, a fraudster. I am wondering it that casting wasn’t actually by Nolan’s design. If so, he successfully trolled the whole world, both sides of that particular argument. And if it WAS by design, that would make Christopher Nolan brilliant.

**That is the first time I’ve ever had to add an apostrophe twice in the same word.

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Where was Frau Blucher?

Happy America 250, everybody! Your humble Average Dude hopes you had a joyous and safe long holiday weekend! This year, Hollywood has given us not one but TWO options deserving a view and review. Option 1 was always going to be option 1 for America 250 weekend…Young Washington (not to be confused with Young Frankenstein). And it did not disappoint.

Historical accuracy counts…but not this weekend

Now, the Average Dude has no illusions that Young Washington is a strictly accurate historical telling of our first president and great national icon. Maybe I’ll do an update sometime and maybe it will affect my overall rating. But not right now. Nope. We love our 4th of July and we love it even more this year. So, let’s take a moment and breathe in the freedom. And in the recent words of an infamous celebrity…

Perspective, people

Pro-American sentiment has not been this high since probably 9/11/2001. World Cup visitors are everywhere you look online, heaping praises on Americans in general. They are voicing astonishment at the endless blessings that we enjoy daily. If we can’t set aside politics for one day and just recognize that we have more (of everything) than any other country in the world (and in all of history) then…well, there’s something wrong with your thinking.

Wherever you fall on the Have to Have Not spectrum, objectively, your place on a worldwide scale is much, much higher than it may be on a strictly US scale. And NOWHERE ELSE do you have MORE freedom to change that. Again, not political. Just truth. But I digress.

I blame Nintendo

Young Washington is less about patriotism and more about ambition and the will to achieve. George was not born into the privileged class. While not exactly poor (his family were tenant farmers and definitely looked down upon by the British high-borne of the day), George was not content with what everyone told him was his lot in life.

Denied even a basic formal schooling, he threw himself into what we would now consider a ‘home school’ education. At an age when most of current American youth are watching Transformers or Spidey and Friends or Encanto for the 30th time, Young Washington was reading philosophers and books on etiquette and social practical skills. He was constantly, fervently trying to improve himself. Wow. What more need we say about how he came to be one of the greatest heroes in any era, in any history. Just…wow.

Bold, bordering on brash, Young Washington used an illusion of breeding, guile, an intricate knowledge of social etiquette and buckets of charm to finagle his name onto some influential lips. Having gained a surveyor’s license along with inherited equipment, Young Washington parlayed those small skills into the employ of the Fairfax family, one of the most influential landowners of the era. This kind of stepping-stone becomes a theme in this movie. And George is ever looking for the next stone.

Few names, but one you will soon see more of

There are not many known names associated with Young Washington. Kelsey Grammar had a small part (Lord Thomas Fairfax). Mary-Louise Parker as George’s mother. Andy Serkis played a proper English [insert your preferred vulgar British sobriquet). And of course, the always amazing Ben Kingsley. But make no mistake, William Franklyn-Miller as Young Washington is an absolute revelation. I’ll be keeping an eye out for his next film. A quick check of his IMDB resume showed me absolutely nothing that I recognized, but whatever. Young Washington is Miller’s launch pad. Mark my words.

SO…the Average Dude is giving Young Washington a revolutionary score of 4/5. Not an annual watch, for sure. But totally worth your time and corn. Now, on to the second feature…

Was Lucky Strike a lucky find?

Right out of the gate, I have to wonder why Lucky Strike had only a single showing each day. Opening weekend? That’s a bit of a red flag and I’ll see what I can find out about why that was. But it was a WII movie, and it’s Fourth of July weekend AND it stars Scott Eastwood (the progeny of one Clint Eastwood) so sure. We’ll give it a try. Plus, we’ve been starved for good movies for so long and we’re kind of desperate. So. Long.

Lucky Strike is the ‘based on actual events’ story of…no one in particular. From what I can gather (post viewing), the ‘actual events’ claim comes by way of ‘these things did happen in the war’. Seems kind of disingenuous but again…

Lucky Strike tells the story of fictitious Army Captain Castle, tasked with taking out a road and preventing a German SS Panzer division from getting to Allied forces during the Battle of the Bulge. Capt. Castle’s entire squad it mowed down by a German patrol, but Castle manages to complete his mission. The bulk of Lucky Strike is about how an injured American soldier, wounded and alone, makes his way nearly 20 miles to safety across terrain crawling with German soldiers. Pretty typical WWII scenario.

Pretty much, the whole of this movie was Scott Eastwood overcoming obstacles (and Germans) in a ‘Behind Enemy Lines’ type of get home safe movie. He didn’t have any secret plans, no mission critical intel that would save the battalion. Just one dude trying to get home alive. And that was enough. The pacing was tight, the perils believable*. The outcomes were never in doubt. That didn’t take anything away from Lucky Strike. Knowing he would survive (because we learned it in the first 5 minutes of the movie) only changed the focus from ‘will he make it’ to ‘how much sh!t will he go through to make it?’.

I learned after the fact that there were quite a few technical details that this movie got wrong or completely ignored. WWII buffs might be disappointed by these details. Even now, knowing what they got wrong does not detract from my enjoyment of Lucky Strike (to any significant degree, anyway). In the end, it was about one dude overcoming obstacles to survive. And again, that was enough.

So, the Average Dude is giving Lucky Strike a serviceable 3.5 out of 5. Also not an annual watch but a nice way to finish off the holiday weekend. See it now, while the spirit of America 250 still lingers. That should help your enjoyment factor.

*If you want unbelievable WWII perils, might I suggest SISU. You’re welcome.

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Supergirl: getting the bad out of the way first

As usual, your humble Average Dude avoids reviews until after I’ve seen a movie with my own two eyes. From me, you get the most untainted opinion possible.

Did you learn nothing from Rachel Zegler?

Having said that, it was very literally impossible to avoid the whispers of how galactically awful Supergirl was going to be. I remained hopeful even in the face of the pre-release excuses Milly Alcock was schlepping out. I also recall the scuttlebutt surrounding opening weekend for The Thunderbolts* being bad. Your AD really liked that movie. So yeah, I still had hope that Supergirl might at least be okay. I was SO wrong.

Darn my starry-eyed optimism

This half of my weekly review is going to be thankfully short. If you saw the trailers for Supergirl, you’ve seen the movie. It was one contrived battle scene after another. Angsty, too-cool-for-you twenty-something girl is all about her woe-is-me life. Too self-involved to see the bigger picture outside of her own little bubble. Its been done to death. We get it already.

Was there a ‘hero’s journey? Well, it was a journey, I’ll say that. Kind of like the long drive home from your in-law’s house after a weekend of listening to them talk about their new aches and pains and medications. Did Kara Zor-El become a hero at the end? Ehhh…

Was there a dark night of the soul? It pretty much felt like one constant dark night of the soul, to be honest. No real moment where you thought that Supergirl might actually be facing a crossroads and have to choose…anything, really. No personal growth. Not a lick of empathy for anyone other than her dog (at least there was that).

Krem of the Meh

Was there a truly threatening, powerful and malevolent bad-guy to root against? Nah. More like a galactic street-level gang boss, thugging around with a vacant, wide-eyed look, morally oblivious to pretty much every pain he inflicted. Krem (I had to work to remember his name) was a comically empty character. The only thing that this actor did to make Krem his own – he seemed to always be eating. Maybe he borrowed that from RDJ (famous for hiding snacks on set).

Even the cinematography was wretched. Either I’m old (I’m not) and my eyesight is going south, or every scene was unwatchably dark. I mean, if Milly has any kind of acting range you wouldn’t know it because I just couldn’t see her face clearly enough to judge it.

You canna change the laws of physics

And for the love of heaven, was there nobody in connection with this movie that knows enough about physics to say ‘Uh…this can’t be done…’

Lo-moa

We’re done here. Short summary. Supergirl gets a less than super score of 2/5. The only bright spot in this movie was Jason Momoa’s Lobo (because who doesn’t love Momoa?). Sadly, he could have been completely removed from this movie and it would have changed exactly zero.

I just wasn’t strong enough…

So, let’s talk about Citizen Vigilante. Movies wrapped in controversy aren’t always going to get a review. I couldn’t bring myself to see Rachel Zegler’s Snow White and I’m not going to apologize for that. I love bringing you these reviews, but I’m only human. That would have been akin to volunteering to have my knuckles smashed with a hammer.

Now, Citizen Vigilante? That’s at least a controversy I can understand. And it’s worth discussing.

Citizen Vigilante is the story of a very wealthy individual (Armie Hammer, and we’ll get to him later) who sees the massive amount of pain heaped on everyday people by lawless, violent segments of the populous emboldened and enabled by corrupt governments. Law abiding citizens can’t even defend themselves – or even cry out for help – fearing severe penalties by the government that is supposed to protect them. For reasons as yet undefined, Sanders (his only name. Like Madonna only less vile) uses his impressive financial and mental resources to reign brutal ‘justice’ to the (presumably) guilty.

Chuck Bronson did it first

The story of Citizen Vigilante is a simple, classic trope. Justice denied turns to vengeance. I’m old enough to at least remember the whole Charles Bronson Death Wish franchise from the 70s (though I was too young to see them, thank you very much). Those were not very controversial back in the day. I think that people still had some confidence that the bad guys (for the most part) would be punished. At least for some regions of the world, that confidence is gone. And that is beyond tragic.

So far, we’ve not seen his like in actual practice, but the heart of this story is torn straight from today’s headlines. That is the whole point of Citizen Vigilante.

No wonder it’s gone viral

Obviously, this movie is making certain governments look really bad. And they are fighting by claiming that it will spawn copycat vigilantes, willing to take the law into their own hands. It might, that’s the thing. And there is a significant segment of society that will applaud those vigilantes for dispensing ‘justice’ when the powers that be would not. I’m not here to debate the rightness or wrongness of it all. I’m just stating the facts.

And, if we are being honest, Citizen Vigilante is a fantasy secretly harbored by many, who see the societal decay ravaging some European countries. It’s a sick fantasy, yes. But when we see the fall of free and just and moral society happening before our eyes, those fantasies are understandable.

Clearly, I’m in the majority

Citizen Vigilante is not a bad watch. Armie Hammer did a credible job in the title role, bringing a cold, meticulous malevolence when dropping the hammer (too on the nose? I couldn’t resist) to the bad guys. And the parallels to today’s headlines were. of course, on purpose. Whether this was planned as a built in marketing tactic or a cry for change, I can’t tell. Maybe both. Knowing which might make a difference in whether you watch it or not. For me, it wasn’t an issue. The message was more powerful than the motive.

Food for thought

Citizen Vigilante tapped into some very real emotions that are hard-wired into most of us. Hope in our knowledge of basic right and wrong. Punishment of evil. Fear of abandonment. Rage at betrayal of our trust.

Sanders becomes the avatar of justice, reminding us that the governments often (maybe mostly) aren’t here to serve us, but to serve themselves. That’s a big part of the message and it’s really hard to logically deny. And even though his actions are definitely ‘against the law’, it begs the conversation ‘Does that make them wrong?’

I’m not saying Citizen Vigilante is Citizen Kane. It isn’t. It’s a pretty formulaic movie that is given power by present circumstances. Timing, as they say, is everything. It definitely stokes the fires of anger and frustration. I’m not even saying that’s a good or bad thing. I will say that the answer to that question lies inside of each of us. Does it inspire us to take action (good or ill) or fuel depression (definitely ill)? It should at least inspire thought. If it doesn’t, well, you are in my prayers.

Until Citizen Vigilante 2

Either way, whatever way, your Average Dude is giving Citizen Vigilante a solid 3.2 out of 5. There is some unnecessarily graphic sex that shows Sanders has the same physical drives as any red-blooded male, and that adds a bit of depth to the character. But come on. We could have easily gotten the point in a lot less pornographic way. That seems to be the way of Hollywood these past few years. I’m not a fan of that trend.

And there will almost certainly be a Citizen Vigilante 2. I’ll be interested to see some back-story on how Sanders came to be who he is. That story will either validate the franchise or destroy it. Will the powers that be try to influence the story or will the it continue to ‘fight the system’? I’m hoping it doubles down, tbh.

And don’t think I’ve forgotten about the whole Armie Hammer controversy. He was cancelled for quite a long stretch because of reports of some truly heinous stuff. Hammer has denied all allegations of ‘non-consensual’ behavior, but openly admits to being in a very unhealthy place at that time. I have no idea if any of it is true. Nobody does. Let that factor in to whether you watch Citizen Vigilante or give it a pass.

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