Supergirl: getting the bad out of the way first
As usual, your humble Average Dude avoids reviews until after I’ve seen a movie with my own two eyes. From me, you get the most untainted opinion possible.
Did you learn nothing from Rachel Zegler?
Having said that, it was very literally impossible to avoid the whispers of how galactically awful Supergirl was going to be. I remained hopeful even in the face of the pre-release excuses Milly Alcock was schlepping out. I also recall the scuttlebutt surrounding opening weekend for The Thunderbolts* being bad. Your AD really liked that movie. So yeah, I still had hope that Supergirl might at least be okay. I was SO wrong.
Darn my starry-eyed optimism
This half of my weekly review is going to be thankfully short. If you saw the trailers for Supergirl, you’ve seen the movie. It was one contrived battle scene after another. Angsty, too-cool-for-you twenty-something girl is all about her woe-is-me life. Too self-involved to see the bigger picture outside of her own little bubble. Its been done to death. We get it already.
Was there a ‘hero’s journey? Well, it was a journey, I’ll say that. Kind of like the long drive home from your in-law’s house after a weekend of listening to them talk about their new aches and pains and medications. Did Kara Zor-El become a hero at the end? Ehhh…
Was there a dark night of the soul? It pretty much felt like one constant dark night of the soul, to be honest. No real moment where you thought that Supergirl might actually be facing a crossroads and have to choose…anything, really. No personal growth. Not a lick of empathy for anyone other than her dog (at least there was that).
Krem of the Meh
Was there a truly threatening, powerful and malevolent bad-guy to root against? Nah. More like a galactic street-level gang boss, thugging around with a vacant, wide-eyed look, morally oblivious to pretty much every pain he inflicted. Krem (I had to work to remember his name) was a comically empty character. The only thing that this actor did to make Krem his own – he seemed to always be eating. Maybe he borrowed that from RDJ (famous for hiding snacks on set).
Even the cinematography was wretched. Either I’m old (I’m not) and my eyesight is going south, or every scene was unwatchably dark. I mean, if Milly has any kind of acting range you wouldn’t know it because I just couldn’t see her face clearly enough to judge it.
You canna change the laws of physics
And for the love of heaven, was there nobody in connection with this movie that knows enough about physics to say ‘Uh…this can’t be done…’
Lo-moa
We’re done here. Short summary. Supergirl gets a less than super score of 2/5. The only bright spot in this movie was Jason Momoa’s Lobo (because who doesn’t love Momoa?). Sadly, he could have been completely removed from this movie and it would have changed exactly zero.
I just wasn’t strong enough…
So, let’s talk about Citizen Vigilante. Movies wrapped in controversy aren’t always going to get a review. I couldn’t bring myself to see Rachel Zegler’s Snow White and I’m not going to apologize for that. I love bringing you these reviews, but I’m only human. That would have been akin to volunteering to have my knuckles smashed with a hammer.
Now, Citizen Vigilante? That’s at least a controversy I can understand. And it’s worth discussing.
Citizen Vigilante is the story of a very wealthy individual (Armie Hammer, and we’ll get to him later) who sees the massive amount of pain heaped on everyday people by lawless, violent segments of the populous emboldened and enabled by corrupt governments. Law abiding citizens can’t even defend themselves – or even cry out for help – fearing severe penalties by the government that is supposed to protect them. For reasons as yet undefined, Sanders (his only name. Like Madonna only less vile) uses his impressive financial and mental resources to reign brutal ‘justice’ to the (presumably) guilty.
Chuck Bronson did it first
The story of Citizen Vigilante is a simple, classic trope. Justice denied turns to vengeance. I’m old enough to at least remember the whole Charles Bronson Death Wish franchise from the 70s (though I was too young to see them, thank you very much). Those were not very controversial back in the day. I think that people still had some confidence that the bad guys (for the most part) would be punished. At least for some regions of the world, that confidence is gone. And that is beyond tragic.
So far, we’ve not seen his like in actual practice, but the heart of this story is torn straight from today’s headlines. That is the whole point of Citizen Vigilante.
No wonder it’s gone viral
Obviously, this movie is making certain governments look really bad. And they are fighting by claiming that it will spawn copycat vigilantes, willing to take the law into their own hands. It might, that’s the thing. And there is a significant segment of society that will applaud those vigilantes for dispensing ‘justice’ when the powers that be would not. I’m not here to debate the rightness or wrongness of it all. I’m just stating the facts.
And, if we are being honest, Citizen Vigilante is a fantasy secretly harbored by many, who see the societal decay ravaging some European countries. It’s a sick fantasy, yes. But when we see the fall of free and just and moral society happening before our eyes, those fantasies are understandable.
Clearly, I’m in the majority
Citizen Vigilante is not a bad watch. Armie Hammer did a credible job in the title role, bringing a cold, meticulous malevolence when dropping the hammer (too on the nose? I couldn’t resist) to the bad guys. And the parallels to today’s headlines were. of course, on purpose. Whether this was planned as a built in marketing tactic or a cry for change, I can’t tell. Maybe both. Knowing which might make a difference in whether you watch it or not. For me, it wasn’t an issue. The message was more powerful than the motive.
Food for thought
Citizen Vigilante tapped into some very real emotions that are hard-wired into most of us. Hope in our knowledge of basic right and wrong. Punishment of evil. Fear of abandonment. Rage at betrayal of our trust.
Sanders becomes the avatar of justice, reminding us that the governments often (maybe mostly) aren’t here to serve us, but to serve themselves. That’s a big part of the message and it’s really hard to logically deny. And even though his actions are definitely ‘against the law’, it begs the conversation ‘Does that make them wrong?’
I’m not saying Citizen Vigilante is Citizen Kane. It isn’t. It’s a pretty formulaic movie that is given power by present circumstances. Timing, as they say, is everything. It definitely stokes the fires of anger and frustration. I’m not even saying that’s a good or bad thing. I will say that the answer to that question lies inside of each of us. Does it inspire us to take action (good or ill) or fuel depression (definitely ill)? It should at least inspire thought. If it doesn’t, well, you are in my prayers.
Until Citizen Vigilante 2
Either way, whatever way, your Average Dude is giving Citizen Vigilante a solid 3.2 out of 5. There is some unnecessarily graphic sex that shows Sanders has the same physical drives as any red-blooded male, and that adds a bit of depth to the character. But come on. We could have easily gotten the point in a lot less pornographic way. That seems to be the way of Hollywood these past few years. I’m not a fan of that trend.
And there will almost certainly be a Citizen Vigilante 2. I’ll be interested to see some back-story on how Sanders came to be who he is. That story will either validate the franchise or destroy it. Will the powers that be try to influence the story or will the it continue to ‘fight the system’? I’m hoping it doubles down, tbh.
And don’t think I’ve forgotten about the whole Armie Hammer controversy. He was cancelled for quite a long stretch because of reports of some truly heinous stuff. Hammer has denied all allegations of ‘non-consensual’ behavior, but openly admits to being in a very unhealthy place at that time. I have no idea if any of it is true. Nobody does. Let that factor in to whether you watch Citizen Vigilante or give it a pass.
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