Author: todd.wade

Mission Impossible The Final Reckoning – I nearly forgot about you

So, lets take a little look at entertainment history. Bear with me here. There was once a time…a magical, wonderous era…where a movie sequel would be released around a year (sometimes much less) after its popular predecessor. Nowadays, two years is about the norm. Back in the day, a 2-3 year wait to find out what happened to Han Solo encased in carbonite was torturous. A cliff-hanger that had us all nearly euphoric with anticipation.

But now…? Eh, not so much

Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning was released in 2023 to a tepid box office take (total gross: $571M). Mission Impossible the Final Reckoning seems on pace to at least equal that, making it a financial success for the studios. There isn’t nearly the level of excitement we had hoped for in what is reputed to be the FINAL installment of the MI franchise (until the inevitable reboot, of course).

So why the lackluster response?

It doesn’t take an overthinker (like me) to deduce the reason for the lukewarm level of anticipation. Two years of waiting today isn’t like two years of waiting back in the early 80s. Back then, we had way fewer distraction options than we do today. It’s easy for us to move on to the next Squid Game or Dutton epic. I guess its just the times we live in and we have no choice but to get used to it. Or go live off-grid.

No offense to Arnold

Even so, I was locked in on going to see Mission Impossible the Final Reckoning on opening weekend. There was enough memory of part one to entice me to see it to its conclusion. Truth to tell, a lot of that was due to the fact that this was a Tom Cruise movie. And as most of us have come to believe, Tom is Hollywood’s last actual movie star, if not the last action hero. Tom is bankable by both Hollywood and the ticket buying audience.

To Recap

Mission Impossible the Final Reckoning picks up roughly where Dead Reckoning left off. Ethan Hunt and crew have both of the crusiform keys. That’s not a spoiler. If you haven’t watched Dead Reckoning, that’s on you. You had two years. But Ethan doesn’t know what the enemy – a Skynet level AI – wants it for. On top of that, it turns out that everybody – even his own government – wants the tech that this key initializes because it would give them an unchallengable military advantage. Once again, enemies on all sides. Par for the course.

They call it a flaw, but I disagree

If Mission Impossible the Final Reckoning sounds a bit convoluted, you are right. It is.  And the writers realized that. So, they strategically placed short scenes of exposition to keep the audience up to speed on the next phase of the operation. Some reviewers are banging on the movie because of this. I actually appreciated it. When there’s a lot happening, it really helps. And not for nothing, but do none of them remember that this kind of pre-op exposition is a staple of MI movies? Sheesh. It feels like they are looking for reasons to dog this movie. Cynical much? Maybe. Justified? Also maybe.

Either way…

Whatever their reasons for dissing on Mission Impossible the Final Reckoning, The Average Dude enjoyed it for what it was…an action movie with well-established characters. I loved that it brought back a lot of memberberries from Mission’s gone bye like the Rabit’s Food (MI 3, my favorite of the franchise).

But for all it’s questionable storytelling, it wasn’t the fireworks and ‘splosions sendoff for an amazing set of characters that we wanted. And for that, we are sad. They tried to tug our hearts a bit, but it really didn’t land in the feels like they hoped it would. Neither did the suggested love interest. The action sequences were stellar, the supporting cast interactions much less. It was our goodbye to them, as well, you know. We hardly got to even wave at them.

But the movie on the whole was good enough. The Average Dude gives Mission Impossible the Final Reckoning a 3.9 out of 5. Not quite good enough for the Four Star club. It is enjoyable and we’ll miss the whole crew. And if they decide to do one more last MI, we’ll watch and hope for a more emotionally satisfying sendoff.

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Sinners is good, but it’s no Oh Brother, Where Art Thou

Sinners has been at my local moviehaus for a couple of weeks now. I like Michael B Jorday as an actor. I like period pieces. And I like lots of Ryan Coogler’s work. That should have been enough to get me in a seat on opening weekend, right? In a perfect world, sure. But surprising to no one, we are in a far from perfect world right now.

TBH, there wasn’t anything really compelling to go see this weekend. There was a re-reboot of a horror franchise. There was also an opaquely defined Jenna Ortega movie. And Sinners had a lot of positive chatter so I thought I’d give it a look.

Was it one movie or two?

It wasn’t plainly stated in the trailer, but Sinners is a depression-era vampire movie. Mr and Mrs Average Dude don’t normally go in for horror movies (and Mrs AD didn’t care for Sinners at all) but I’ve enjoyed a few bloodsucker flicks in my day (Lost Boys is a favorite). And I didn’t hate Sinners. The casting was excellent , the cinematography and set design were fantastic. Solid foundation for a movie.

But a horror flick is not how Sinners started out. It began as the story of two brothers – twins – coming home to their Mississippi roots from the Oz-like world of Chicago, where they plan to start their own ‘juke joint’ empire. And a pair of black men from Chi-town trying to get rich in a small southern town at the height of Jim Crowe would be a compelling story in its own right.

Wait, what now?

On opening night of their new black’s only nightclub, a trio of white Irish vampires roll up to the front door and can’t get past the bouncer. Not because the bouncer was tough enough to keep them out, but because of the vampiric rule that says the owner of the house has to allow a vampire entry. This an often overlooked vampire trope but whatever. I have no idea what Ryan Coogler (not jus the director, but the writer) was thinking with this twist.

The second reel of Sinners was a bloody guess at who was gonna get et next. Pretty standard horror movie fare and it worked very well because reel one did its job of establishing the characters. The transition was somewhat jarring, sure. And the origination of the vampires left a lot of unaswered questions. But whatever.

And then, yet another change of direction. Or reversal. Not really sure.
After the vampire battle ended came a second finale, the one that we might have expected if the vampires never arrived at the party. The one that you would expect from a bigoted, Jim Crowe-era southern town. And either one on it’s own is fine. But together…? I have thoughts. The endings seem to contradict each other. More than that I can’t really say without dropping spoilers (which I, of course, will not do). You’ll see what I mean.

But whatever the reason, Sinners felt like a compelling depression-era movie about two black brothers wanting to carve out their own fortune in a time when the world was stacked against such dreams. Then, Coogler woke up one day during production and said ‘I want to make this a vampire movie instead’ and off he went. Maybe luck or maybe skill, but combining both Sinners movie worked. Kind of, anyway.

Like going to see Rocky Horror Picture Show without your toast

What I can tell you is this: It’s been increasingly true that finding commonality through going to the movies is becoming harder. Mr & Mrs Dude arrived early and were seated comfortably by the time the previews rolled. Before the lights dimmed, we realized that we were just about the only white folks in attendance. Did we feel out of place? I suppose, yeah. A bit. But when the lights go down and the show begins, are we not all there to enjoy a movie? Sure we are. But oh, there are definitely differences in how we enjoy it.

Civility ignored

So, let me throw out a comment that is sure to garner some vibrant responses. It’s not ment to be provocative. It is a simple statement of fact that draws an obvious conclusion.

There are always folks who arrive during the previews. It happens to all of us. The polite thing to do is to quietly take your seat with as little disruption as possible. Can we all agree on that? If we can’t, read no further, please.

More importantly, it is an absolute no-no to talk during the movie itself. Whispers are not rude (up to a point). Conversations at audible levels over the movie itself (and all the way to the back of the theater) are a show of absolute disregard for everyone else in the theater. And while I’ve experienced this kind of rude behavior from all skin colors of all ages, I have to say that the overwhelming majority have been of one demograph. Fact.

Such is the age we now live in

Nowadays, civility is often considered an antiquated value at best and a show of weakness at worst. Entitlement is just another name for selfishness, and these days, embracing the victim mentality has given a false justification to selfishness. And if my drawing attention to it instead of ignoring it makes you angry, maybe thou needest to self-examine thyself. Opinion.

But back on point. Even though Mrs Average Dude and I disagreed on Sinners, I am still giving the movie itself a very respectable 3.5 out of 5. Good performances. Great sets. Writing choices were a bit jarring but still okay for all that. Sinners is a movie worthy of your money and corn. I just hope your theater experience is more courteous than ours.

Oh, and one more thing that was weird for no real reason. There was a subplot about how some music is so sublime it could summon evil. At one point, we were give a scene that I think was supposed to be visionary but just seemed bizzare and out of place and it definitely yanked us out of the movie. It was never really expanded upon and just seemed superfluous. Writer/director’s perogative, I guess. But whatever.

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Fight or Flight…try to have some perspective

Movie night always hits a slump the week after a really good movie is released (I saw Thunderbolts in the theater twice). It’s almost axiomatic. I can’t remember the last time I saw a great movie and the next week I saw an even greater movie. With that in mind, this week, the Average Dude journeyed out to my local moviehaus to see Fight or Flight.

Just how many of those are there, anyway?

Fight or Flight stars Josh Hartnett as former CIA operative Lucas Reyes. Lucas is on the run, living in Bangkok because he had a bout of conscience while on an official assignment. In comes high-level CIA director and former girlfriend Katherine Brunt (Katee Sackhoff) to enlist his aid to bring in a ‘ghost’ operative. Unknown to Lucas and Katherine, other forces are at work to kill the ghost. And they are ALL booked on the same flight back to Los Angeles. It’s like Bullet Train for the friendly skies. Lots of close-quarter fights. Lots and lots of blood. If you go in expecting that, you will not be disappointed. I did and I wasn’t.

It could be a new drinking game

For those of you who see Josh Hartnett on screen and say ‘is that Josh Hartnett?’ you’re not alone. I played ‘spot the cameo’ during Oppenheimer and made that very same comment to Mrs Average Dude. Josh was in the M Knight Shyamalan clunker ‘Trap’ last year. I then checked my brainbone to remember the last decent movie I saw Josh Hartnett in, and Pearl Harbor is what came to mind. When I GTS, I remember that he had a part in Black Hawk Down the same year (2001). Looking further, I was surprised to see just how many movies he’s been in.

Spoiler alert. It’s 36

Other than the 5 movies mentioned so far, Josh Hartnett has been in a total of 36 movies. Thirty-two have come out since 2001. Clearly, Josh has been working and I had no idea. That’s startling to a dude who considers himself a movie knowledge source. Ego check, please!
But lets be fair here…the overwhelming majority of these movies have been B grade or less. I’ve at least heard of Lucky Number Slevin, Wrath of Man and Sin City. None of them were star rolls and none of them are annual watches. Honestly, not a single movie on his list is an annual watch. Which is kind of weird, given how much I actually like Josh Hartnett.

To his agent…your fired

Josh Hartnett is one of those actors that I find myself rooting for without even knowing it. Yes, Trap was a really bad movie but I still rooted for Josh. I expect we all have at least one of those actors that we like without having a solid reason. Maybe it’s that he has a quirky good looks. Maybe it’s because he has an empathy to him that seems genuine (like Keanu Reeves).

For whatever reason, I like him. And even in a very basic, nothing new here, filler between expected blockbuster weekends, I liked him. And I’m glad to see a career upturn for him. We can’t really call it a renaissance. Dude has been working steady for nearly 30 years (in a kind of Quik Trip regional manager kind of way). But in his last two movies, his name has been first on the marque and I’m here for it.

So, with a very little bit of fanfare and much good will, I am giving Fight or Flight a satisfying 3.5 out of 5 on the back of a journeyman actor with a best-bud appeal and a sh!te-ton of bloody action. Depending on the box office, there may even be a second helping of Fight or Flight. What they would call it, I have no idea. Having a second flight filled with colorful international assassins is probably a bridge too far. Besides, I think he killed them all already.

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Thunderbolts: is Marvel back?

As always, The Average Dude stays away from actual reviews before I ever start tapping my keyboard. I want to keep it as honest and untainted as possible. That was a little bit difficult with Thunderbolts. Lots of pre-screenings and ‘insider reports’ to try and dodge. Overall, I think I did a good job. Other than seeing a few ‘cringey’ headlines, I went in clean and hopeful. Once again, it’s proved to be a good policy.

If I have to explain how her sister died, we can’t be friends

Thunderbolts stars a motley bunch of lesser known characters in the MCU. Half of them have their origins in the ScarJo Black Widow mythos (Yelena, Red Guardian, TaskMaster). Probably Bucky Barnes is the most well-known of the group. But make no mistake, Yelena Belova is the leader of this group. And the heart. Florence Pugh plays the surviving sister of Natasha Romanoff (well…adoptive sister in a not really legal way) who is searching for a better life than that of a throwaway assassin. It’s remniscent of Natasha’s own redemptive journey. I liked it.

There’ll always be only one Cap

Other MCU additions to the ‘team’ are John Walker, the replacement Captain America before the Sam Wilson replacement Captain America. He and Bucky had their own issues back in Falcon and the Winter Soldier (Disney+). Walker is wrestling with his demons, as well. In fact, each one of the Thunderbolts is broken in various ways. Taskmaster was scarred and abused and experimented on. Ghost lived most of her life unable to even enjoy physical touch due to her ‘abilities’. Someone called them the Mental Health Avengers. That’s totally fair. Avengers with Issues, but that just gives them a whole roster full of stories to work with.

And don’t even get me started on Bob

Probably the most mentally fractured Thunderbolt is Bob. Not much else I can say here. I’m already dancing around spoilers. Suffice to say, literally, every one of the Thunderbolts has a haunted past. I mean when Bucky Barnes is the most stable member of the group, you know you’re in for a ride. And its good that they didn’t play it too seriously. That would have been a bad, bad choice. Much to the writer’s credit, they tread very adeptly on the whole dark past/emotional damage story. It needed a certain amount of delicacy. And to do it with this much humor was masterful.

I like this movie more the more I think about it

It probably doesn’t hurt that Thunderbolts is coming on the heels of one of the worst Marvel movies ever (in a long line of bad Marvel Movies). Captain Falcon Brave New World was a nearly total disaster. No way to sugarcoat that turd and make it digestible. Compared to BNW, Thunderbolts was bound to be a huge upgrade. And I think that only adds to the joy we, the viewing public, felt leaving the theater. That’s kind of unfair, because Thunderbolts is great on it’s own merits.

I guess you gotta lay in the bed you made

I can understand the hate that Disney is getting from people. For awhile now, they have injected politics into their product in an effort to influence society. And it eventually failed majestically. They had control of some of the greatest marketable IP in history and ran it into the ground. Star Wars. Indiana Jones. Marvel. And nearly all of their original characters and stories. Even after it was proven to be a financially bad direction, Disney stayed the course. And the loss of interests in their product is the result. I think there is a pathway back, but it’s not gonna be a quick fix. So I get it. I’m with you. You got a lot of ‘splainin’ to do.

What I don’t understand is the hate coming from some folks who have actually seen the movie. Were there some plot holes? Yep. One of them was pretty glaring. But we have overlooked plot holes in pretty much every sci-fi movie ever (and Marvel movies in particular). Suspending disbelief after the stub gets torn is a given. So the question is: was there enough good in the movie to overcome the shortcomings? For Mr and Mrs Average Dude (and tons of others, from what I’m hearing) the answer is a resounding ‘YES!’

Always save your receipts

So, why the hate? I can maybe understand that some folks feel so betrayed by Disney/Star Wars/Marvel that the synapses in their brains are now conditioned to see flaws. Receipt: calling Thunderbolts another ‘woke’ Disney movie. I didn’t see that. Show us, please. I’ll wait. Receipt: Yet another ‘girl-boss’ destroying a bunch of trained men twice her size’. Funny, I didn’t hear the ‘girl-boss’ outrage when ScarJo was doing it in Iron Man 2.

Here’s the thing: if you’re going to call yourself a movie reviewer, review the movie. Don’t look for flaws for the flaw’s sake. Because, as everyone knows, if you are looking for fault, you’ll usually find it. Likewise, if you are looking for the good, you can usually find that, too.
SO…it is with great enthusiasm that The Average Dude gives Thunderbolts a much-deserved 4.65/5. There are a couple of points knocked off. One was fair and one was personal*.

Even so, Thunderbolts was a genuinely good watch that will go into the annual watch list, no doubt. Spring for the large corn and ignore the nay-sayers. Is Marvel back? Too soon to tell. But you can enjoy Thunderbolts while we wait.

The Bed You Made 2.0

*I won’t name them here, but there was a character in this movie that I reckognized – sadly – from the worst movie I have ever seen in my life. A movie so bad it haunts me. I didn’t realize how much it haunted me until I saw them again in a movie that I was really enjoying. It immediately catapulted me from the fugue-state where the world outside is gone (as a good movie will do). And every time they appeared, it was a jolt. I don’t wish this person any ill, but for me, its the consequence of a really bad career choice. The bed you made, so to speak.

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The Accountant 2: Now with even more OCD

As with most sequels, Mr & Mrs Average Dude like to watch the original right before seeing the second. So, on Friday night, we viewed The Accountant to get up to speed on the characters. And boy, am I glad we did. Accountant the first was a gem of a movie that I had forgotten a lot about. Getting the refresher course before seeing The Accountant 2 absolutely enhanced the experience. So saying, you’ve now been advised. You’re welcome.

The Accountant 2 is the continuing story of Christian Wolff (Ben Affleck), an OCD savante who is supernatural with numbers and details. Chris lives by a moral code that is gray at best. He sometimes uses his ablities in service of very bad people but will turn and burn on them (in more ways than one) if they break that code. That’s kind of an opaque reasoning for the things he does, but the nature of the character makes it believable.

Didn’t I mention he’s everywhere these days?

Back again is Chris’s younger brother Braxton (Jon Bernthal) who is himself a very skilled and successful mercenary. When Chris embarks on a new mission that will require his exceptional talents, he contacts Brax to back him up. Braxton is angry at the 8 years of silence from his older brother. It’s a love-hate relationship that started in the first movie and is expanded on in the second, and it’s portrayed magnificently by both actors. In fact, I would say the personal dynamic between Chris and Brax was the greatest part of this movie. The very heart of it.

It may be stating of the obvious, but the Jon Bernthal star is on a rocket to Mars rise these days. We’ve dug on him since we first saw him in The Walking Dead. He is to Punisher what RDJ is to Tony Stark. A great talent in a perfect fit. Jon Bernthal delivers once again in The Accountant 2. I am absolutely her for it.

Where other sequels miss the mark, Accountant 2 hits it

Not that it is always necessary, as it wasn’t with Die Hard 2, The Accountant 2 brings back existing characters and actually evolves them. Lots of sequels just do another helping of the first and no more (Fast and Furious, anyone?). And lots of times, that’s okay. But Accountant 2 goes the extra mile, and it totally pays off. Where the story and action are fairly cliche, it’s the interpersonal relationships that are expanded upon that make this movie SO ENJOYABLE.

No Spoilers, as always

And it’s not just Jonnny B who’s back. Also returning are Ray King (JK Simmons) and Agent Medina (Cynthia Addai-Robinson). Even Chris’s internet chat support person returns and grows. They all play their part and it all works really well. I’ll say no more. You’ll just have to watch and see.

Another good example

And once again, I highly advise watching the original the night before seeing the second. It really enhances the journey in ways that watching Die Hard the series doesn’t, but Bad Boys does. Character evolution. That’s the mark of a quality extended story. With that in mind, The Average Dude gives The Accountant 2 a rousing 4.3/5. All the action you expect and some genuinely funny and heart-warming moments. Easily my favorite move so far this year. Enjoy it in sequence and thank me later.

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Warfare tells it like it is

This week, the Average Dude is reviewing Warfare, the true story of Seal team Alpha One who, on an observational mission during the Battle of Ramadi (2006), are attacked by Iraqi forces. What sets Warfare apart from any of the other Iraqi war movies we’ve seen is the fact that this story was written by Ray Mendoza – an actual soldier in the actual battle. All the details were put together from the testimonies and memories of the platoon. As far as true to life accounts of battle, it doesn’t get any more accurate than Warfare.

This ain’t Hollywood’s Seal Team

As always, I wait until after I’ve seen a movie before I watch any reviews of it. I try not to absorb anyone else’s take so that I can give you a very honest AVERAGE DUDE’s opinion. And, having watched Warfare, I can tell you two things:

1: it is absolutely worth watching. It’s a reminder that even the much lauded, infinitely capable and imminently deadly US Navy Seal can be overcome. They can be hurt and killed. They are not indestructable. They are most definitely in harm’s way.

2: Seeing a movie about a real deal, honest to goodness battle brings with it some heavy emotions. Completely without thinking about it, we mentally separate reality from fiction, and that fact shouldn’t be ignored. If you are looking for a little escapism, Warfare is actually a reminder of how brutal this life is in some places. And Warfare is brutal. Not even kidding a little.

It’s just…different

Watching the blood and violence of Warfare is different from, say, a John Wick movie. In your head, there’s always the knowledge that Babayaga is not real. Heck, even in a true life movie like 13 Hours: the Secret Soldiers of Bengazi (I watch it several times a year), you know that Michael Bay did some of his magic on it.

Not so with Warfare. From all accounts, this is just as it happened. No Hollywooding here. Just the raw, horrible truth.

 

No real good feels walking out though

I guess you would have to say that Warfare had a happy ending of sorts. Most of the home team made it out alive. Some with less of themselves than when the movie started. And we feel for them and we were happy when they got the hell out. But we didn’t really feel relieved. We weren’t smiling. We were uneasy. And I think I know why.

Honest but kind of pointless

Warfare was an honest portrayal of an actual event. There were no real heroes (except that all of them are heroes). And there wasn’t really a heroic mission. It was just a mission that didn’t seem to have a purpose. People died, soldiers were maimed for an objective that was unclear at best. Not defending a strategically critical bridge. Nobody was taking out an enemy airfield or storming a beach. The entire reason Alpha One was holed up in that building was just so mundane. Maybe that is part of the point. In Warfare – as in war – soldiers often die for little reason. And that is an uncomfortable thought.

This may be an unpopular take…

Some of the reviewers I really like have heaped high praise on Warfare for it’s gritty realism and keeping amazingly true to actual events. That’s fair. Hollywood doesn’t deal in things like truth and honesty and realistic all that often. And that’s kind of the whole point of movies…to take us away for a couple of hours. It’s our numero uno form of escapism. Is there room for a Warfare that gives us the unvarnished truth? Sure, yes, absolutely. But in this case, don’t look for an uplifting message or good feels on the way home. And while I liked Warfare, I can’t really say I enjoyed it. Weird, but true.

So, with some genuinely mixed feelings, I’m giving Warfare a 3.5 out of 5. If you want to give it higher marks, I’m not gonna argue. For this Average Dude, it just felt bleak. Honest, but bleak.

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The Amateur would have been an above par movie…for February

Mrs Average Dude and I were somewhat eagerly waiting for The Amateur to arrive at our local moviehaus. I say somewhat because, at least from the trailers, the premise was not horribly overused and the star seemed very believable in the roll. It’s worth noting that I have had to dramatically adjust my movie expectations downward over the past year or so. With that in mind, The Amateur was okay and even a little bit of a surprise.

Funny how a 110 lb girl can do it

The Amateur is the story of Charles Heller, a mid-high level tech genius for the US Government, who is driven into action when his wife is killed by terrorists half a world away. Mostly, Heller’s field of expertise is decryption. So, in a efficient bit of story, Heller’s bona fidas are established…he’s super smart. That is his power.

The writers of The Amateur are smart enough to realize that turning Malek into a full-fledged action star like John Wick would be stretching disbelief beyond its breaking point. Heller’s nerdy brain-power is believable. Unlike, say, Lioness. Or Charlie’s Angels. Or the children of Sucker Punch, which are totally unbelievable. And therein lies the hook. Like John McClane and Sarah Conner, tech-nerds needed a hero, too.

Oh, and along for the ride but mostly wasted are Lawrence Fishburne and Jon Bernthal (who is in just about everything these days and I’m here for it).

Rami Malek is the hero we never knew was possible

Of all the suspensions of disbelief we are called on to adopt when we step into the theater, maybe the most subtle one is this basic premise…nerdy tech genius focuses his grief and anger and channels it into revenge. The Average Dude has a lot of friends and among them are a number of nerdy tech geniuses. I have to say, I don’t think a single one of them would respond in the way that Charles Heller did in The Amateur. I also don’t know a single average dude that would strap on a fire hose and jump off the top of Nakatomi Plaza, but that’s beside the point.

Point is: these are one in a million guys who don’t know what they’re capable of until they are in the sh!t. And that’s every man’s fantasy.

Alpha Nerd

And I think that may have been the goal of The Amateur. Outside of Revenge of the Nerds, there really hasn’t been a techie star to stand toe to toe with the bad-guys lone wolf style. Someone called them the Alpha Nerds, and that’s really cool. Charles Heller is a much needed hero for the tech-nerd class. Maybe that was the whole thinking behind this movie.

Only the $$$ will tell

I loved how this movie didn’t try to make Charles Heller into the smartest guy in every room. Sure, he’s super smart…in his field. But putting him in the deadly world of spy-catching and globe-trotting, Heller was a fish out of water. He was out of his element, learning as he stumbled along. An helping of luck was necessary for him to keep living and that was not left out. In the end, Heller prevails (sort of). Will there be a second Heller adventure? Could they still call it The Amateur? I dunno. Only the box office will tell.

Passing grade

The Averaged Dude is giving The Amateur a passing grade of 3 out of 5 for decent story that didn’t make us throw logic too far out the window and providing a very emotionally relatable hero. Again, this would be totally overlooked if released in July. For April, it was good enough. Never going to be an annual watch. But they can’t all be Die Hard.

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Black Bag for a black time

Well, the gloom of February’s movie Dead Zone has swallowed up March. When the best theater movies for the year have been Last Breath, Unbreakable Boy and A Complete Unknown…its been beyond bleak. Literally, there has not been one single movie that your Average Dude has been truly excited to see and, for most of them, much less than excited to review for you. And Black Bag, yet another star-studded feature film by a well-known and loved director (Steven Soderbergh) is the pickle on top of this crap sandwich of a movie season.

Not much to review but here goes nothing

Steven Soderbergh is no slouch when it comes to film-making. He has 14 Oscar nominations and five wins, including Best Director for Traffic in 2000. That was a pretty great year for Soderbergh, as he was also nominated for Best Director for Erin Brockovich. Crazy.
Soderbergh’s bona fidas established, there was reason for optimism going to see Black Bag. However, it became very apparent fairly early on that this movie was not going to end well…for the audience.
Black Bag boasts some excellent stars to go along with an Oscar-winning director. Michael Fassbender has been one of my favorites ever since I saw him in Band of Brothers. Cate Blanchett still carries celebrity cache even after the tragedy that was last summer’s Boarderlands.

And yet, here we are

Those three names attached to Black Bag were enough to give me more than hope…they gave me expectation. So, my post-movie disappointment and frustration are understandable. When you get a big nothing burger out of a show you expected nothing from, the taste of that burger is what it is. But when you expect a juicy steak and it tastes like sawdust…it’s bitter.

When I say ‘Snoozer’, I mean that literally

I’m giving Black Bag a pretty low review. But to be totally transparent, I didn’t watch the whole movie. I literally fell asleep for a few minutes somewhere in the middle if this slogging, single-tone chore of a ‘thriller’. And when I say single-tone, it wasn’t like a John Wick movie, where the bloodletting barely gives you time to shove some corn in your face, lest you miss something cool. I’m talking about a tone so devoid of energy it was akin to playing white-noise on your headset while working. It was just. that. ssssssllllllloooooooooooooooowwww.

The Positive Take-away

To say something good about Black Bag is kind of a stretch. It’s not that the acting was bad. In truth, I would have found it increadibly hard to play a character that, BY DIRECTION, was supposed to show as little emotion as possible at all times. To Michael Fasbender’s credit, he managed to convey an intense, all-consuming adoration to his co-habitant (the weren’t even married). Blanchett was able to subtly portray a woman who knows her man is a total cuck, yet not demean him TOO much. If that was the goal of this movie, it did it’s job. But here’s the biggest rub…

Just like Drive Away Dolls. Or Mickey 17.

Yet again, Hollywood does the old switcheroo on us. Instead of giving us the tense, whodunnit thriller that the trailer promised, we got a barely fleshed out generic plot that was presented so blandly that I didn’t care enough to try to figure it out before the final reel. Instead, we got a movie about a brilliant, respected, capable yet broken man and a brilliant, respected, capable yet narcisistic woman in a relationship of convenience that seemed about an inch deep (by necessity, I’ll grant you). Nothing to admire. Nothing to aspire to. And very little in this movie to appreciate or remember.

I’m giving Black Bag a disappointing 2.5 out of 5. I’d love to discuss a different opinion if anybody has one. But the Average Dude stands by the score. You’ve been warned not to expect much. Unless that’s your thing.

Not for Nothing

As always, I wait until I’ve seen a movie before reading anyone’s reviews. I saw one reviewer call Fasbender ‘James Band’. That was so good I should have thought of it.

Then, an NPR reviewer called Black Bag ‘a witty, sexy, espionage thriller’. Sexy? Meh, I’ll give it that. There certainly is enough cross-character sexing to add to the ‘intrigue’ (although I found it about as titilating as a prostate exam). But witty and thriller are not words I wouild use to describe Black Bag. So I will say this about the NPR review…consider the source. I said what I said.

Not for nothing 2.0

Go to Google, call up Black Bag 2025 film and click on images. You will see the movie poster, a couple of stills from the movie, and uncountable number of women’s fashion accessories instead of images from the film. Literally, there was not enough in this movie to produce even a handful of press images. That kind of backs up my review. Take that, NPR.

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A Working Man…to BEE or not to BEE

This week, Mr and Mrs Average Dude ventured out to our local moviehaus to see A Working Man, the latest action flick from the ageless Jason Statham. A Working Man is the story of Levon Cade, an ex-special ops agent who has chosen the simpler life of a mild-mannered construction foreman. When the daughter of the company owner gets abducted by human traffickers, Levon is forced back into old habits.

Let’s get this right out front…I like Jason Statham. His unconvential good looks and British accent set him apart from the generic, @$$ kicking action star that is everywhere. He has a trademark killer stare that just doesn’t seem to grow old (like the man himself).

Having said this, I’ll say that Statham’s career trajectory seems very much to be on the downward slide. My receipts: Mechanic. Spy. Safe. Parker. Both Megs. And of course, Beekeeper. His movies are as BEE movie as BEE movies can get.

And that’s okay

Like Bruce Willis in the twighlight of his career, it almost seems like a natural progression for action stars. None of the greats were immune. Stalone has his Escape Plan, Bullet to the Head, Smaritan (and don’t get me started on Driven). Ahnold has his Escape Plan, The Last Stand, Maggie, etc. All of those are a steep dropoffs from the movies that made their star great. We see them for nostalgia, for the mindless action. We see them for their fun-factor, like riding a roller coaster we’ve ridden a hundred times. They definitely have their place and that’s fine. That’s where I’m putting A Working Man.

Nothing new here

So, did the Average Dude like A Working Man? I did. It was everything I expected from a Statham movie. No surprises, good or bad. Unlike the aforementioned Beekeeper, there were really no poorly done, over the top special effects (an understatement…they were horrendous). If you don’t count the unkillable hero as a suspension of disbelief, there was nothing I saw that made me lean over to Mrs Average Dude and say ‘yeah, that’s never going to happen’. That counts as a plus in my book.

So, I’m giving A Working Man a modest 3.1 for meeting expectations, low as they were. And maybe a +.1 for being so much better than Beekeeper. It also helps that it was rolled out to us in what might be the biggest dip in Hollywood movie quality I can ever remember, and that includes the year of covid. At least that year had Free Guy. A saving grace if ever there were one.

And What is going on with THIS?
While searching for images to add to this review, I came across this movie poster.

Call me crazy, but I think I might have remembered this scene. Was A Working Man originally supposed to be a very different movie? If anyone knows the answer, message me. Thanks!

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