Author: todd.wade

IF is Inescapably Fantastic

I know I tout it every single week how I’m just an Average Dude. It says so right in the title. And for the most part, I think it’s true. I believe in hard work, loyalty and an unchanging magnetic north to my moral compass. But there are times when I am convinced that I am not an average dude. Not better. Just…different.

I guess we all feel that way sometimes. And, being an honest average dude, that feeling is probably more right than wrong. Again, that doesn’t make it a bad thing. Nobody wants to be JUST like everyone else. We all want to be unique in some way. We all want to be special. Then adulting gets in the way and the want gets lost in the day-to-day. It happens to all of us. But sometimes we are lucky and find a reminder that the wanting is not lost forever.

IF is one of those reminders

IF wallops us in the feels right out of the gate. Bea (played by TWD’s Cailey ‘Judith’ Fleming) loses her mother to illness and becomes maybe the most grown-up, serious, no fun 12 year old one could imagine. Calamity follows tragedy, and Bea’s father (John Krasinski) is admitted to hospital for heart surgery. Bea’s heart of steel becomes a heart of stone. Her father, a child-at-heart, does his best to lighten her load (world’s best dad, IMO) to no avail. Bea will not be moved.

Thank goodness for childlike curiosity

Though Bea had made herself into a 12 year old adult, youthful inquisitiveness is still a driving force. She is having glimpses of someone…a little girl, she thinks…in the shadows and ducking around corners. Where hope has been packed away, curiosity still lives. Bea’s tenaciousness eventually brings her face to face with what was lost…an IF.

Like finding a new cup-holder in your 2017 Jeep

Lost and found is kind of the theme for IF, and it doesn’t get old or oversold. It might have been luck or by design, but apparently we as humans never get tired of the thrill of finding what was once thought to be gone. Or finding something new in something you’ve had for years. The old becomes new again. And that is magical, even IF only for a moment.

Imaginatively Fun

It’s so much fun every time a new IF is introduced. Guessing the voices without mentally stepping out of the movie is not easy, and there are plenty of them. Clearly, everyone in Hollywood wanted a piece of IF. I dare you to spot them all without the help of Google. And there is one IF that you could not possibly get because it does not speak. But when you see who it is you are struck once again by the brilliance of IF. IF becomes new again, if you will.

Ryan Reynolds doing Ryan Reynolds things, part 1

IF would have been a solid movie had the star been pretty much anyone else. Having Ryan Reynolds as the co-star makes it beyond entertaining. Reynolds plays Cal, the leader and caretaker of the IFs (local chapter, I assume). And even as a sardonic pessimist, we can’t help but love him. The dude just never disappoints. I have a direct interaction with Ryan Reynolds on Facebook. I’ll show it to you someday. It made Facebook new again for me.

Inevitable Five (or close enough)

So, I’m gleefully giving IF a 4.9 out of 5 happy faces. What’s missing, you ask? We got plenty of IF. This movie was full to overflowing of WHAT. The missing element is WHY? As in WHY was Bea able to see the IFs in the first place? IF that question had been answered, this would have been a 5/5, hands down. In the end, I guess the why’s are sometimes over-rated and we just need to accept the IS and enjoy the ride. Kids can do that SO much better than we adults. And that brings me to the realization that I might not be as average as I thought.

IF is a movie that kids will love but I suspect not all adults will love it as much as I did. Full disclosure: I was on the cusp of blubbering audibly by the end. Certainly the tears were rolling. God bless Mrs. Average Dude for handing me a napkin before the movie even started. She knows me so well. Your Average Dude is a sucker for kids, dogs and redemption. And apparently, the journey to find what was lost is not as far for this average dude as it is for others. In that, I suspect I am very un-average. Totally cool with it.

Ryan Reynolds doing Ryan Reynolds things, part 2

For those who follow Welcome to Wrexham, this was his latest birthday prank played on Rob McElehenny… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vCKgewLdK9w
Its been living rent-free in my skull for two weeks now.

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The Fall Guy is the remake we never knew we wanted

Trying not to give away too much about me, but I remember watching The Fall Guy back in the early 80’s. It was okay, typical 80’s TV fare in the vein of the A Team and Knight Rider. Ultimately forgetable, really. I truly don’t remember a single episode. But oh, I remember the theme song word for word (link at the end). SO catchy!

Better. Stronger. Faster.

The Fall Guy from the 80’s starred Lee Majors as a Hollywood Stuntman who moonlighted as a bounty hunter to fill in the financial gaps that getting set on fire or blown up on set didn’t cover. I have no idea how many of you will remember this show (I know my kids don’t) but Majors was one of those virile male stars from back when it was okay – even desirable – for men to exhibit toughness, kindness and follow a firm moral code. In the pantheon of male tough guy heroes of the 80’s, you had Burt Reynolds, David Hasselhoff, Tom Selleck…and Lee Majors, the Six Million Dollar Man.

And if you don’t remember the Six Million Dollar Man, then I got nuffin for ya. About 50% of this review is going to whiz right over your head. And I feel bad for you.

Since so few people remember the Six Million Dollar Man, it seems an odd choice by Hollywood to bring Major’s second act to the big screen with The Fall Guy. I don’t know what inspired Universal to pull it out of the vault and give it a new millenium makeover. But they did, and we are all better off for it.

Only the Village People can still use that word

Let’s be clear…there is no way that they could make The Fall Guy with the same macho essence that the 80’s male star exuded. Whether that is for good or ill is hotly debated, and your Average Dude has much to say on the subject. I suspect other average dudes and dudies do, as well. But the wise, wise Mrs Average Dude reminded me that this is not the forum for such debates. Keep it about the movie. She is the angel on my shoulder. So, because she is so very wise and because she is correct, I will say only this: I miss the 80’s. It was a good time.

Having said as much, I am giving the writers and director David Leitch (John Wick, Deadpool 2 and the criminally underrated Hobbs & Shaw) full marks on revamping the show for a new age. The Fall Guy 2024 stars Ryan Gosling and Emily Blunt with an excellent supporting cast that includes Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Winston Duke (M’Baku from Black Panther) and the delightfully sleazy Hannah Waddingham. Gosling plays Colt Seavers, the unknown stuntman that makes Eastwood look so fine. That’s the only story element that made the transition from the magnificent 80’s to the end of the first quarter century of the new millenium. That’s okay.

What Leitch managed to do – somehow and against all odds, says I – is bring a hint of that bigger than life era back to the big screen without championing machismo or infuriating the always furious. Gosling’s Seavers was a man’s man that was still vulnerable to both physical and emotional scarring. Most endearing was a sense of chivalry, of right and wrong, and a willingness to put himself to the hazard for love of both. It was almost subtly given to us, which was perfect on multiple levels.

Not a fairy tale but yeah, a fairy tale

Okay, I did say that some of you would not get this review, but that doesn’t mean that this movie isn’t worth your time and corn. It is, fear not. The images of bygone male-female stereotypes might have been removed from The Fall Guy, but the quintessential elements that we all still crave are there. Not only Gosling, but Emily Blunt is also strong yet vulnerable and ultimately loyal and forgiving. Both stars embody things that, if half of us weren’t furious and the other half scared, we would all aspire to be and have.

Is it too early to give a 5 our of 5?

Nah, I’d give it top marks if not for a couple of very slight knocks. Yes it was an action movie but The Fall Guy pulled back the curtain to reveal the wizardry of Hollywood stunts and then proceeded to throw sand in it’s own face by giving us a finale that was just a wee bit over the top. No spoilers but you’ll get me when you see it. Just a skosh long, it probably would have be a straight up 5 if they had shaved maybe 5-10 minutes of end action sequence.

And while there was not one note of ‘You Give Love a Bad Name’ as the trailers so gloriously promised, the soundtrack for The Fall Guy was beyond awesome. Believe it.

They should have had bigger cajones

Exception to that last take: Blake Shelton’s remake of The Fall Guy series theme song. I get why they did it but it was still a disappointment. Might be the one really bad call of the whole show. But I’m correcting that here. You’re welcome. Even so, I am proudly giving The Fall Guy a well-deserved 4.8 out of 5. Plenty of cameos and rememberberries to enjoy, including the way that Colt narrates his own story. Oh and lest I forget, scene-stealer Jean-Claude. Engage your core!

Enjoy this new addition to my annual watch list and spring for the large corn. I didn’t and wish I had. A-hey hey!

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Fallout season 1 is a breath of irradiated fresh air

Who would have thought that yet ANOTHER series about a post-apocalyptic dystopian hellscape would be a good idea? And not just a another post-apocalyptic dystopian hellscape, but one based on a first-person shooter video game? Ugh, seriously? When will it be enough? Will we ever get post-apocalyptic dystopian hellscape fatigue? Apparently not any time soon. Is that a good or bad thing? I say ye, ’tis the same as any other genre…the proof in the pudding is in the eating.

That’s a bit of a cynical opening to this column, I’ll admit. My head turns when I see a new end of the world show teaser. I’m not sure why they grab our interest so completely. It probably has something to do with how we are all caught up in doom scrolling on our phones. Who knows. As an over-thinker, I should probably put my tired brain-bone to work on it. But not today. Today, I’m going to revel in the quirky, original, amazing Prime Video offering: Fallout season 1.

Good grief, am I that old?

Fallout is based on a popular video game of the same name, which has spawned at least a dozen spinnoffs and sequels. With a popularity like that, and sporting a fresh retrofuturistic (today’s word of the day. Try to use it in conversation!) style, Fallout was destined to be made into an actual movie or series. Frankly, it’s kind of amazing that it has taken this long to happen. The original Fallout was release waaaaay back in 1997. That bakes my melon. Seriously.

The end of the world…the way your gramma made it

As I said, Fallout is a ‘retrofuturistic’ world. Setting aside the obvious dichotomy there, it’s a fantastic artistic style that lives next door to steampunk (think Robocop done with only steam-powered technology). I say fantastic, and I stand by that. We’ve done the clean, smooth, futuristic tech to death (no offense, Star Trek). Retrofuturistic renditions are still pretty novel in comparison. Fallout nails the artistic style and absolutely ups the ante with top-shelf writing that slings a 50’s siloed morality and language smack dab into the aforementioned dystopian hellscape. It is visually enthralling and the characters are easily investable.

Kind of like the British

But when the layers of characterization are slowly peeled back, they reveal a dark underbelly. The one dimensional depictions fall away to reveal hidden motives and avarices. Wholsesome ‘good golly!’ morality evolves in front of our eyes and is replaced by the stark realization of circumstances that forces our characters to grow or die. In short, the character development is on point.

Not to be confused with another female bad@$$

Fallout stars Ella Purnell as Lucy MacLean, a young female adult who has lived her entire life in one of any number of Fallout shelters built to survive the atomic holocaust that our universe has (so far) has avoided. Hearing her name, my eyebrow immediately sprung up Spock-like. Second only to the original Die Hard is Live Free or Die Hard, another annual watch for me. John MacLane’s tough as nails daugher is one Lucy MacLane (Mary Elizabeth Winstead). Love it. Whether on purpose or accident, I was on board from the git-go.

What follows is a non-linear tale of present day sheltered life (very literally), post-disaster militias, pre-disaster origin stories and pre-pre origin stories that walks a thin line between necessary and confusing but manages well enough. We are introduced to neo-knight Maximus, a character whose motivations and growth are not yet predictable. We meet THE Ghoul (not to be confused with the garden variety ghouls), played by the always awesome Walton Goggins doing his best Red Skull imitation. Oh, and Dogmeat. Dog-lovers rejoice.

If you are looking for a new earworm…

Fallout seems to take great pride and care in every aspect and nuance of this show. The end credits are presented to the tune ‘Crawl Out Through the Fallout’ by Sheldon Allman (circa 1960). That song has been playing on loop in my head ever since and was THE perfect ending. Each epi has it’s own retro tune to play us back to reality but none can match that slice of perfection. After the credits rolled, I simply turned to Mrs. Average Dude and declared ‘I. Am. A. Fan.’

I truly have nothing bad to say about this series other than to say I hope SO MUCH that they don’t muck it up in subsequent seasons. I still have not forgotten nor recovered from the tragic, meteoric crash of the series ‘Heroes’. I have never seen a great series go south so quickly. It bothered me so much that it tempers all my series expectations. Having said that, I wholeheartedly endorse Fallout season 1 with a jim-dandy rating of 4.75/5. Fallout is swell and I can’t help but be jazzed for season 2. And if I get radiation burned in the end, I’m going to feel it.

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Civil War, your timing is impeccable

There is no movie I’ve seen previews for this year – other than Deadpool 3 of course – that the Average Dude has been more anticipating than Civil War. One wonders how long it has been in the can, awaiting the perfect time to release. Too soon and they lose the boost of current political divisions going into the most important presidential election since the LAST most important presidential election. Too late and they risk either political fatigue (aren’t we all kind of there anyway?) vs possible encitement to conflict. I kind of think Hollywood nailed it. Well played, Hollywood. About time you actually thought things through and made a smart call.

So, even though it competed with The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare, I was always going to see Civil War opening weekend. And I’m glad I did. While all the political pundits gave their agenda-driven yays or nays, I was able to avoid their influence and watch this movie with anticipation and not expectation.

I say anticipation, but that doesn’t mean without bias. I would love to talk to anyone who truly has no biases on the state of the canyon that exists between conservatives and liberals. I would take them to see Civil War and intently listen to their reaction. Because this Average Dude is fully aware of his own biases. And, in the spirit of seeking the truth in all things, am constantly challenging those biases. That’s the only way I know to seek truth.

The basic premise of Civil War: California and Texas have ceceded from the United States and allied, adopting an American flag with only two stars. There are various other states that have ceceded and created their own coalitions, separate from the Loyalist States. The Loyalist States, led by the current president, have launched an offensive against the Cali/Texas alliance. Since Cali and the Lone Star state have a very large percentage of military bases, it makes sense from a believability standpoint.

They would have needed a maxi-series to tell it all

If Civil War had continued down that road it could have been a exciting, action-packed, possibly even powerful movie. But that would have required it to actually answer one of about a hundred questions that the viewing audience had. What caused the initial division so grievous that it caused the United States to fracture so completely AND cause California and Texas to side together? What did the internal struggle for power within each faction look like? Who is leading the Western Forces coalition? Or the Second Republic of Texas? Or Cali? And why in the world is South Carolina not part of the Florida Alliance? See what I mean? There are a truckload of other stories to tell here.

Thelma and Louise. And a dude. And an older dude.

Civil War didn’t begin from any of those story points, which could have started us on an epic journey. Nope. They made the whole Civil War a backdrop for a road-trip story about 4 journalists rolling through a war-torn America enroute to the White House to interview the sitting president before the cecessionists arrive to remove him from office. With extreme predjudice. Journos. Of all the viewpoints in society that the writers could have chosen to tell this story, could they have chosen one LESS trustworthy? Less identifiable by the bulk of the country? I’m thinking probably not.

So, in fairness to journos, there are probably some journos out there that really do aspire to the higher journo ideals. Tell the truth with impartiality. Show the facts. Unbiased. Even when it comes at great personal risk. Those girls and guys are the closest to secular martyrs we will ever see. But those folks are rare. Like, unicorn rare. They’re the ones who have not been co-opted by money and fame. It’s sad but true.

Food for thought

But Dude…is it any good? The short answer to that is yes. Sure, there’s some good stuff, but mostly it comes as a subtle warning to the watcher. The facade of ‘American moral superiority’ falls away. Slowly, at first. But as the intrepid journos get closer to DC, the brutality grows. In this Average Dude’s opinion, it was way, WAY too soft. It was baby formula when we wanted a T-bone.

If current strife in other areas of the globe have shown us, war on your own doorstep isn’t just uncomfortable or inconvenient. It’s crushing. It’s scarring. It’s often fatal. And in our land of excess, self-absorbsion and entitlement, the carnage would come faster and more brutally than most folks think. Civil War hinted at it, but didn’t take it nearly far enough IMHO.

So…does the Average Dude recommend?

I do. Because most average dudes and dudies have probably wondered on some level what a Civil War in this country would look like. And even getting a taste of it would be worth your time. Civil War straight up did not take sides. To the very best of its ability it walked the partisanship middle line. Would it have been better if it had taken a stand? I think so. For good or ill, it would have gotten more press. Appealing to one side and enraging the other surely would have generated more buzz. But watering it down guarantees a watered down response. And it feels a bit cowardly. That’s just the Average Dude’s opinion.

So, take it for what it’s worth, I suppose… reminder of how quickly people can forget their humanity. A mild reminder, at that. If something like this really did happen, I think it would be so much, much worse. And THAT’s not just an opinion.

There are many examples in our marvelously modern world that back up that claim. In the land of ultimate opportunity and affluence, what do you think would happen if that American priviledge got suddenly yanked away? People who have never once had to fend for themselves would be in utter panic. That’s upwards of 333 million folks (minus the 1%) who would be desperate to get what they ‘need’. Think the covid toilet paper panic times about a skillion. If we lose our sh!t over two-ply, what will it look like if folks can’t get their meds. Or their Hamburger Helper. Or their internet.

In the spirit of educating the purposefully obtuse, I am recommending Civil War. For those of us who spend time thinking ‘what if’, its a curiosity. For those who just don’t want to think about the possibility, I’d call it a must-watch on a grade school level. The Average Dude is giving Civil War a 3.5 out of 5. And God help us all if something like this ever happens.

And not for nothing, but I much preferred this Civil War…

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The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare is jolly good fun

Holy Cow! When the Average Dude saw a preview for The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare, I was 100% in! Starring Chief’s fan and GOAT Superman Henry Cavill AND Alan ‘Reacher’ Ritchson, I was geeking out at the prospect of these two mega dudes doing mega-dude things on the same side in the same movie. Crazy awesome. Even Mrs. Average Dude was psyched for this movie. Average Dude does not begrudge her enjoying the eye candy.

So, when Average Dude was scoping out the new releases for last week and happened upon an advance screening for The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare, I knew it was going to be a twofer weekend (Civil War review – coming soon). I love a twofer weekend so much.

Terribly unsporting of you, ol’ chap

The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare it the ‘based on a actual events’ story of purported scoundrel Gus March-Phillips and his assembled crew of similar ne’er-do-wells. This merry band of chaos-bringers all possess a variety of ‘very particular skill sets’. Sadly, the oh-so-proper British government could not, in good conscience, bring said skill sets to bear on an enemy that showed no reluctance to use any level of brutality to further its ends. So, Churchill and a small contingent of his war cabinet enlisted March-Phillips to do their dirty work, promising prison (at best) should he and his men be found out.

So began Operation: Postmaster, a coverty operation to take out a German submarine refueling and supply depot on the ‘neutral’ Spanish island of Fernando Po.

God bless you, Guy Ritchie

While The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare had all the booty (giggety) that Mrs Average Dude could want – a dashing rogue leader (Cavill), an even larger human specimen (Ritchson) AND the Dread Pirate Roberts (okay, it’s a romantic throwback) it was not without a little sumthin-sumthin for the mates. Eiza Gonzalez plays Marjorie Stewart, an actress/singer/socialite turned spy for not-sure-whom and is a very passable clone of Gal Gadot. Thanks, Guy Ritchie. Your service to the Average Dudes is appreciated.

Too much star power

So, with a loaded cast, a classic action movie premise and one of my favorite directors at the helm, how could The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare be anything but a monumental smash? Here’s how…too much of a good thing. We all know Cavill’s movie pedigree. Action movie veteran. And most of us are still high on Alan Ritchson from two seasons of ‘Reacher’. We expected a lot of screen time for both of these fellows. Cavill, as the star of the story, got his. Ritchson, however, was almost an afterthought, which is a shame. And I get it. There was a lot going on in this movie, something had to give. I guess Ritchson is still paying his dues.

Also a small gripe, I have to mention that I have rarely seen so many deaths with so little gore. I mean, these super-commandos killed a LOT of bad guys. And unless I blinked, every single shot made with either a bullet, an arrow or a thown object found its mark unerringly. Apparently, Hollywood never misses.

In spite of the tiny imperfections of this movie, the Average Dude enthusiastically gives The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare a 4 out of 5. Well worth the 2 hrs and corn. We love it when all the WWII baddies get ended (well, ALMOST all of them). You’ll get plenty of it here and it’s always satisfying. Tally ho!

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A Monkey Man among men. And monkeys

When it comes to the average dudes in this world, we will watch John Wick-level violence wherever we find it. Why do we love it so much? Most of us aren’t looking to go fist-to-face with a hoarde of gun/blade/club wielding bad guys. Most of us aren’t looking for a fight of any kind. Without getting into psychologies or societal morrays, we’ll just attribute it to the hard-coded nature of the male of the species. Let’s do that.

So when the trailer came out for Monekey Man, your Average Dude was all in. And not just because of the choreographed Wick-level brawls. I’m a genuine fan of Dev Patel. Slumdog Millionaire is maybe the last Best Picture Oscar that got it right. Lion, great film. Hotel Mumbai, same. And even though I was ‘meh’ on the adaptation of ‘The Green Knight’, bravo for Patel for taking a risk on it.

Dude’s never get sick of Wick

When Wick-lovers go to see a Wickshow, we know what we’re in for. Guns. Lots of guns. Some knives. Brutality on a grand scale. And for all the average dudes out there, that’s enough to get our attention. If there is a complelling story and empathetic or relatable characters, that’s just gravy on the ‘taters. We were already at the table. And if nothing else, Monkey Man promised ultra-violence on Wick levels. And boy, did it deliver.

So, is Monkey Man just another John Wick?

No. No, it’s not.

To get inside the head of Monkey Man, it would help to have watched Slumdog Millionaire. Having some understanding of the way the caste system of India works is really important. Monkey Man, who is known only by the sobriquet ‘Kid’, is one of ‘the least of these’. After the brutal death of his family by the criminal elite, Kid is left to scratch out a living any way that he can. Eventually, Kid becomes an underground cage fighter. He adopts the persona of a monkey mask-wearing villain, who is routinely reviled and beaten bloody for his payday.

And all the while, vengence grows in his bloody heart. He is consumed by it, leaving almost nothing else.

What Monkey Man could have been

Monkey Man could – and maybe should – have been the Batman of India. As the story developed, that’s what I thought we were going to get. And I was excited for it. Batman, if Batman was created from Frank Castle (the Punisher, for you non-comic nerds). Quest for vengence turned into champion of the underclass. And, of course, John Wick-level fight scenes. That’s the powerful combination I was expecting. But it’s not what I got.

Monkey Man is a Hollywood-style action movie without the clear-cut Hollywood ending that this Average Dude was hoping for. Did it work? Ah, yes. Sure. Okay. But was it a let down? Yes, it was, and mostly because it hinted at that oh-so-satisfying Hollywood closure all through the movie. Even so, this movie can stand on it’s own merits. I can even applaud it for them, once I get over the sting of disappointment.

Monkey Man would have been a clear 4.5/5 had it delivered on it’s promises. But going it’s own way, brave though it might be, didn’t do it any favors. So, I can only give it a 3.75 out of 5. And since it’s Holly/Bollywood…there’s always a way to do a Monkey Man 2. Maybe the payoff will be worth the journey. Maybe they’ll deliver on the promise. It’s the movies! And in movies, there’s always hope.

Next week: A TWOFER! I’m reviewing Civil War AND The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare, two movies I’ve been super psyched to see!

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Ghostbusters Frozen Empire: Bustin’ for a new generation?

There’s no getting around the fact that the original, beloved Ghostbusters are too old to carry the franchise anymore. So, if Hollywood wants to keep milking this intellectual property, they only have two choices. They either have to do a full reboot and recast all the characters. Which they tried. And failed. Spectacularly. Possibly even historically. I don’t need to rehash that.

The second choice is to ‘pass the torch’, which is what Ghostbusters Frozen Empire and Afterlife are attempting to do. And, in the Average Dude’s opinion, not very well. I’m not proud of saying that because who didn’t love the Ivan Reitman/Harold Ramis/Dan Ackroyd story?

Ghosted by the ghosts

Here’s something that needs to be said about Ghostbusters Frozen Empire…you kinda want to see some ghosts, right? They don’t even have to be scary ones like Viggo (well….).

There were a couple of low-level spooks early on, including a nice throwback to Slimer. But there just wasn’t that much ghost busting going on. And the big bad frozen ghostie? He was almost an afterthought. We barely saw him at all. Yeah, I didn’t feel any real threat from that guy. And that’s kind of a good thing, because this group of Ghostbusters doesn’t seem all that capable. Or smart. Other than Phoebe, the offspring of Egon Spangler. And speaking of our favorite 15 year old proton particle accelerator super-genius…

for the first time…trans-dimensional same sex hookups!

Of all the ghosts that appeared in Ghostbusters Frozen Empire, the one that garnered the most screen time was Melody, a young lady who died in a fire. Recently, judging by her spectral attire. Why did she still look young and pretty while every other ghost looks like sun-baked @$$…no clue. I guess because a trist between a 15 year old and a ghost sewer gator doesn’t have the same appeal.

The character development and screentime disparity between villain and ghost hookup wasn’t even close. Without dropping any spoilers I can say that the writers, quite by accident, showed how an adult can manipulate an angry, lonely and depressed teenager to their own ends. I wonder how many people actually caught that. I did.

So, to ask the obvious question…

No, it’s not who you gonna call? The answer to that is the OG Ghostbusters, clearly. The obvious question: Is Ghostbusters Frozen Empire worth the watch? Answer: Yes, but barely, and with reservations.

The new crew is not capable of carrying the franchise on their own. Not yet. They have the resident super-genius but she’s still a kid, which makes it hard to buy into her character. Paul Rudd, consumate scene-stealer, creates the right balance to ghost-science boss Phoebe as did Bill Murray in the original. Every other character was a throw-away. Except maybe the ‘Firemaster’. Similar to the ‘Keymaster’ or the ‘Gatekeeper’, but okay.  And I may be in the minority, but I still find Kumail Nanjiani’s deadpan schtick funny.

There were plenty of remember-berries (as there were in Afterlife) to tweak our nostalgia. I loved them even though they were obviously forced. But the whole barely adolescent same-sex ‘romance’ was creepy AF, and not in the good way that Ghostbusters is known for. Nope.

That’s what I said…booty trap

And I’m not going to harp on the fact that the kids in Ghosebusters Frozen Empire were basically unparented and at hazard constantly. C’mon. It’s a movie, not a PTA family. Nobody boo-hoo’d about the Goonies. It’s fine, karen. However, if that, then this: the only adult that actually tried to parent was Rudd’s character. I’m not sure if he was actually a step-dad or just a ghostbusting booty call. But the actual mother couch-tatering and phone surfing between spooks was a disturbing writer’s choice. That’s all I’ll say.

With all that in mind, I’m not afraid to give Ghostbusters Frozen Empire the marginal approval of 2.75/5. If you go in knowing that, you should be okay. Sure, there were plot holes big enough to drive a proton powered hearse through. But you still get OG Ghostbusters like mamma used to make. More than in Afterlife, as a matter of fact. And that’s enough for the Average Dude.

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Arthur the King was always going to take my money

The Average Dude is a well-known dog person. Not necessarily anti-cat but kinda. Just really, REALLY pro-puppa. Not sorry in any way for that.

So when I saw the trailer for Arthur the King there was zero doubt that I was going to review it. None. Saturday night, opening weekend was locked in for Mr & Mrs Average Dude. Dune 2 will have to wait its turn. Average Dude has waited long enough for Arthur the King. I casually wondered if I could bring our dog Henley to this show. I’d buy him a ticket.

Arthur the King is ‘based on the true story’ of Michael Light, an Adventure Racing athlete who is approaching the end of his prime still in search of a championship win. Mark Wahlberg stars as Michael, the captain of Team Broadrail, who have agreed to sponsor Micahael’s team…barely. Enough to enter the race and get to the Dominican Republic, but not enough to get there early for acclimation and training. Undaunted, the team accepts. Every member has their own reasons for joining the race, so literally everyone has skin in the game.

You’re just not hooked up right

I feel like I should mention from the outset that Adventure Racing isn’t your garden variety endurance race. This ain’t a Spartan Run. It’s more like a quest, daring the environment, the weather, the fates to do their worst, because each team will do theirs. This championship race was an astounding, torturous 435 mile run, trek, bike, hike, climb and kayak over some of the most dangerous and unforgiving terrain on the earth. The Average Dude is a fan of obstacle races and TBH, am planning to train for a 2nd full marathon this year (Vegas, baby). But putting yourself through something like this? Voluntarily? Nah. Not for me but go forth and conquer, ye Above Average Dudes and Dudies.

So the stage is set

Fast forward to about the halfway point in this painful yet exhilerating glory-by-masochism event comes this matted, world-worn, bedraggled dog of indeterminable origin and breed. He is alone, beat up and hungry. And yet, to the eyes of Michael, he still seems to carry himself with an aire of regality, as if his current state of affairs does not define him. This overcoming of circumstances parallels Michael’s own mindset and their bond is sealed over a few meatballs. The team christens him Arthur the King. Team Broadrail’s brief rest passes and they resume their brutal trek.

Not all heroes wear flea collars

Unknown to the team, they had gained a fifth member. Arthur the King follows Broadrail and, using his knowledge of the terrain, guides them away from danger and towards their next goal. How did Arthur know where they were going? Don’t know. But that’s what the movie portrays and it is at least alluded to in the actual accounts. And I love me some hero dogs so I’m going with it.

All the Hollywood-ization of actual events aside, Arthur the King does deliver the goods. The story is sometimes ham-handed and force-fed to an audience that sits expectantly with mouths agape, ready to savor the next bite of hero dog goodness. After reading about the actual events, it is clear that the 90 minute movie needed to ‘interpret’ things in a more cinematic way. And we are okay with that because we know that the basic facts are accurate. And because we know that, most of the embelishments and transparent heartstring tugs are forgiven.

So, with no apology given or needed, I’m giving Arthur the King a 3.5 out of 5 and recommend it for the whole family. It’s not Homeward Bound: the Incredible Journey or Old Yeller. Those are the gold standard of dog movies and will probably never be touched. But is it Turner & Hooch? Getting closer. And there is definitely room in our hearts for another one of those.

And yup, I went straight home to hug my Average Doge.

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